Is your company seeing a bozo explosion?

Guy Kawasaki gives some great advice to those of us who work in companies “how to prevent a bozo explosion.”

#9 got a little close to home. ;-) *

Anyway, one thing that I will always appreciate about Bill Gates is that he lets me walk around Microsoft with a camcorder so I get to study one of the world’s best businesses from inside (how many business school graduates get to do that?).

And, even better, I get to meet a LOT of people from a lot of different businesses, so have collected a few of my own rules about bozo explosions.

There are a few other things I’d add to Guy’s list after studying the problem in detail:

#15: If you are a software developer and if you spend more time in meetings than writing code you might be in a bozo explosion.
#16: If the first question out of your manager’s mouth is “can this be monetized?” you might be in a bozo explosion.
#17: If the name for your product is something like “Contosa Bozo Exploder 2006” you might be in a bozo explosion.
#17B: If your product’s box has 45% more text on it than an iPod box, you might be in a bozo explosion.
#18: If, when an employee comes up with a new idea the answer back is an email with the words “business value” repeated 13 times you might be in a bozo explosion.
#19: If, when you ask a business leader “what’s your philosophy?” and they answer “huh?” well, then, you might be in a bozo explosion.
#20: If more than three people have to be consulted to spend less than $100 million to acquire a company, or build something new, then you might be in a bozo explosion. (Committeeism guarantees slowness, lack of philosophy, and lack of creativity).
#21: If your marketing team can change the spec after the development team has started development, you might be in a bozo explosion. (Or, if your development team doesn’t communicate well, or listen to, the marketing team you might be in a bozo explosion).
#22: If your company forces you to work computers built in 1999, you might be in a bozo explosion (you do realize that having two monitors has been shown by several studies to make people up to 15% more productive, right? Are you working on two or more monitors yet? I keep visiting lots of companies and am suprised to see how many companies force their workers to use small, low-resolution, single monitor setups. They are literally throwing 5% productivity down the drain. For what? A $1,000 per worker savings? It gets worse when we’re talking about software developers who have to wait minutes for their companies’ code to compile (I’ve seen so many horror stories here it isn’t funny).
#23: If your best employees leave you might be in a bozo explosion.
#24: If you’re not allowed to write on your blog that you are in the middle of a bozo explosion you might be in the middle of a bozo explosion (hint: we don’t have such a rule at Microsoft).
But, back to #9. You knew I couldn’t resist, couldn’t you? Well, I personally think that a major company (IE, one with more than 1,000 employees) that only has ONE paid blogger IS potentially a bozo factory. I personally believe every employee should blog. But, then, I’m an edge case.

The asterisk is because my employee review goals show that I’m not paid to “only blog.” I’m facing 197 emails tonight (many of which don’t have anything to do with blogging). Tomorrow I’m going to Danny Sullivan’s Search Engine Strategies conference in New York to speak. And, really, my “day job” is to do videos for Channel 9 anyway. I don’t look at that as blogging. Most of my blogging is done at nights and on weekends, so Microsoft gets blogging mostly for free. Who’s the bozo here? :-)

How can you get out of being in a bozo factory? I’m seeing some best practices:

1) Stop having meetings. Put a 23-year-old in charge and let her ship and get out of her way. At Microsoft that’s Sanaz Ahari (and Scott Isaacs and a few others who are just kicking butt). Or, have a “meeting dictator.” At Amazon Jeff Bezos is famous for coming into meetings and challenging the team who organized the meeting “give me the three reasons why we’re having a meeting.” If they can’t answer, he leaves. Hint: it isn’t good when Jeff Bezos leaves your meeting like that.
2) Have your development team over for Xbox and pizza instead of keeping them locked in their offices during ship nights. I watched Jeff Sandquist do this and his team has done magical stuff in just a few weeks. (You’ll see their work real soon now, it blew me away when I saw it last week. It’s amazing what three developers can do in less than a month).
3) Tell your development team to do something better than the competition. Anything. And then fund it. Expect it. I’ve been watching the Virtual Earth team under Steve Lombardi and have been impressed.
4) Listen to your blog’s commenters, even if it hurts. The IE team hasn’t had the public corner turn yet, but those guys respond to every customer’s request I’ve been getting. Often within minutes (you should see the email I get and pass along). At some point that’s gonna mean they get a killer new feature that you weren’t expecting. I remember one post they had had about 1,000 comments. Or visit the IE wiki. That was started by customers. Not done by a Microsoft employee and it’s watched often by the team.
5) If your team blogs, even when it has no customers, or worse, is derided by the community, you’re on your way off of the bozo explosion. Something interesting happens when you have a conversation with people about what they want. It focuses meetings and gets things going.
6) Get great competitors. Seriously. Stuck in a bozo explosion? Watch what happens when your competitors get rid of their bozos. Everyone notices and that pushes management into action. If they don’t, then you really know you’re on a bozo explosion and that’s a good opportunity to leave.
7) Keep people from changing the spec. A few teams at Microsoft are developing by using scrum (an agile development process where you lock down the requirements for a month and keep people from changing them while you “sprint” to complete that work) and are seeing great results. One manager told me this transformed how they worked and got stuff done. 8) Reward good work. Publicly. With cash. Nothing will get more good people to want to join your team. Nothing.

How do you know you’re in a Bozo explosion? Have you been in a company that successfully has gotten out of it?

  • kr8tr

    I don’t really think it should be called a bozo “explosion”, because it is almost certainly more of an implosion.

    I’ve seen several, and it’s always internal, and it’s always ugly. “When the new bosses have suits that cost more than the old boss’s desk did, then you are f*cked” – was a blog quote of mine from a few years ago… and it’s held true.

  • kr8tr

    I don’t really think it should be called a bozo “explosion”, because it is almost certainly more of an implosion.

    I’ve seen several, and it’s always internal, and it’s always ugly. “When the new bosses have suits that cost more than the old boss’s desk did, then you are f*cked” – was a blog quote of mine from a few years ago… and it’s held true.

  • http://scobleizer.wordpress.com/ scobleizer

    kr8tr: good quote! I agree. At a previous company we discussed ways to know whether the company is in a downward spiral. When the CFO quits, that’s trouble. When the salespeople quit, that’s almost certainly signs of death spiral.

  • http://scobleizer.wordpress.com/ scobleizer

    kr8tr: good quote! I agree. At a previous company we discussed ways to know whether the company is in a downward spiral. When the CFO quits, that’s trouble. When the salespeople quit, that’s almost certainly signs of death spiral.

  • kr8tr

    Thanks. Another one – an early indicator. If your product does EXACTLY what it was designed to do, yet fails, and Marketing people get fired for it, then run. You don’t have a knowlegable leadership team.

  • kr8tr

    Thanks. Another one – an early indicator. If your product does EXACTLY what it was designed to do, yet fails, and Marketing people get fired for it, then run. You don’t have a knowlegable leadership team.

  • http://scobleizer.wordpress.com/ scobleizer

    I forgot another one: if management lets lawyers run the business (one guy told me that the lawyers killed a blogging initiative) that’s also a good indicator that you’re in the middle of a bozo explosion. Or implosion, as you put it.

  • http://scobleizer.wordpress.com/ scobleizer

    I forgot another one: if management lets lawyers run the business (one guy told me that the lawyers killed a blogging initiative) that’s also a good indicator that you’re in the middle of a bozo explosion. Or implosion, as you put it.

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  • kr8tr

    OK, let’s continue it -
    “You know you are in an implosion if”… you find the most qualified candidate you’ve ever seen, and you aren’t allowed to hire her/him.

  • kr8tr

    OK, let’s continue it -
    “You know you are in an implosion if”… you find the most qualified candidate you’ve ever seen, and you aren’t allowed to hire her/him.

  • http://scobleizer.wordpress.com/ scobleizer

    kr8tr: to add to that one “…cause she doesn’t have a college degree.”

  • http://scobleizer.wordpress.com/ scobleizer

    kr8tr: to add to that one “…cause she doesn’t have a college degree.”

  • http://zoli.wordpress.com/ zoli

    Haha…on that college degree note:

    I had a boss whose career maxed out at the leading Enterprise Software company, for not having a college degree. He started his own consultancy, staying in the same business, grew it to 500 people then sold it. Next he was invited as CEO of another consultancy, grew it, sold it at the height of the “bubble”, for high 9-digits. Now he is a well respected VC, personal wealth probably low 9-digits. I guess he is grateful that his former bosses did not promote him :-)

  • http://zoli.wordpress.com/ zoli

    Haha…on that college degree note:

    I had a boss whose career maxed out at the leading Enterprise Software company, for not having a college degree. He started his own consultancy, staying in the same business, grew it to 500 people then sold it. Next he was invited as CEO of another consultancy, grew it, sold it at the height of the “bubble”, for high 9-digits. Now he is a well respected VC, personal wealth probably low 9-digits. I guess he is grateful that his former bosses did not promote him :-)

  • http://lagesse.blogspot.com/ kr8tr

    Hah! I was *almost* that guy! I helped invent Wifi (in my small Quality Assurance way), rose to mid-level manager with the ear of the CEO – until the WiFi bubble burst (you do know it popped everyone?). Then I was down and out and running into the “no degree” wall again. So I avoided it by starting a series of companies…

  • http://lagesse.blogspot.com/ kr8tr

    Hah! I was *almost* that guy! I helped invent Wifi (in my small Quality Assurance way), rose to mid-level manager with the ear of the CEO – until the WiFi bubble burst (you do know it popped everyone?). Then I was down and out and running into the “no degree” wall again. So I avoided it by starting a series of companies…

  • http://www.zoliblog.com/ Zoli Erdos

    kr8tr, *almost* meaning not quite 9 digits yet, just 9? :-) )

  • http://www.zoliblog.com Zoli Erdos

    kr8tr, *almost* meaning not quite 9 digits yet, just 9? :-) )

  • http://www.zoliblog.com/ Zoli Erdos

    damn, I can’t type today, meant to say not quite 9 digits yet, just 8? :-) )

  • http://www.zoliblog.com Zoli Erdos

    damn, I can’t type today, meant to say not quite 9 digits yet, just 8? :-) )

  • http://lagesse.blogspot.com/ kr8tr

    :( Hah – yeah. Nine, as in dollars! But damn it was a fun ride, and I learned a lot. Next!

  • http://lagesse.blogspot.com/ kr8tr

    :( Hah – yeah. Nine, as in dollars! But damn it was a fun ride, and I learned a lot. Next!

  • http://scobleizer.wordpress.com/ scobleizer

    Jeremy Zawodny of Yahoo chimes in with how Yahoo ranks: http://jeremy.zawodny.com/blog/archives/006378.html

  • http://scobleizer.wordpress.com/ scobleizer

    Jeremy Zawodny of Yahoo chimes in with how Yahoo ranks: http://jeremy.zawodny.com/blog/archives/006378.html

  • Christopher Coulter

    If, when an employee comes up with a new idea and email answers back with “business value” repeated 13 times you are in a profitable company.

    Indeed, “business value” should be the first, middle and last thing on everyones lips. Far from being a bozo, it’s the basic way to run a company and not waste shareholders money. Now at Microsoft you get all this ‘disruptional’, ‘very very long-term investment’ and ‘long tail’ crap as self-justification, for failure. And then failure is recycled as good, a learning experience. Which for all the talk and billions and billions spent at Microsoft, has never been replicated outside of two product lines.

    Maybe you need a 14th time…

  • Christopher Coulter

    If, when an employee comes up with a new idea and email answers back with “business value” repeated 13 times you are in a profitable company.

    Indeed, “business value” should be the first, middle and last thing on everyones lips. Far from being a bozo, it’s the basic way to run a company and not waste shareholders money. Now at Microsoft you get all this ‘disruptional’, ‘very very long-term investment’ and ‘long tail’ crap as self-justification, for failure. And then failure is recycled as good, a learning experience. Which for all the talk and billions and billions spent at Microsoft, has never been replicated outside of two product lines.

    Maybe you need a 14th time…

  • Christopher Coulter

    So here’s Scoble’s Ways to Run a Company…

    Put a no-real-world-experience 23-year-olds in charge (Not as a Heart Surgeon I hope)…Xbox and pizza (Wheee, motivate with college dorm perks)…Tell your team to produce miracles (Gee, you mean you guys can’t actually part the Red Sea?)…spend time in Blog Comment Slashdot hell (Oh that’s productive)…don’t change the spec (gee, even if it’s all broken?), Reward good work with cash (sounds noble, but define ‘good work’, Enron managers were rewarded with cash too).

    Wow, the BEST thing for Microsoft competitors to hope for, is that Scoble gets an Executive position. I mean, sheer lunacy. Scoble for VP should be the rallying cry for every anti-Microsoft weenie.

  • Christopher Coulter

    So here’s Scoble’s Ways to Run a Company…

    Put a no-real-world-experience 23-year-olds in charge (Not as a Heart Surgeon I hope)…Xbox and pizza (Wheee, motivate with college dorm perks)…Tell your team to produce miracles (Gee, you mean you guys can’t actually part the Red Sea?)…spend time in Blog Comment Slashdot hell (Oh that’s productive)…don’t change the spec (gee, even if it’s all broken?), Reward good work with cash (sounds noble, but define ‘good work’, Enron managers were rewarded with cash too).

    Wow, the BEST thing for Microsoft competitors to hope for, is that Scoble gets an Executive position. I mean, sheer lunacy. Scoble for VP should be the rallying cry for every anti-Microsoft weenie.

  • http://codebetter.com/blogs/jeff.lynch Jeff Lynch

    Wow Mini!

    When did you start ghost writing for Robert?
    :) LOL

  • http://codebetter.com/blogs/jeff.lynch Jeff Lynch

    Wow Mini!

    When did you start ghost writing for Robert?
    :) LOL

  • http://scobleizer.wordpress.com/ scobleizer

    Christopher:

    “Business value” are code words for “I don’t wanna take any risks and try anything new.” I guess you haven’t read Clay Christensen’s book.

    Who says the 23 year olds don’t have any real world experience? I can tell you that Sanaz has a lot more real world experience than you do. And wait until you meet Matt Mullenweg. He’s only 21 and already has people quitting nice executive jobs at Yahoo to join his team.

    I guess any management team you run will have to have 50-year-olds on it, right? Just for “appearances.”

    Oh, and why would a spec be broken after the development team started working on it? Sounds like someone didn’t do their jobs right. It’s even worse than it appears!

  • http://scobleizer.wordpress.com/ scobleizer

    Christopher:

    “Business value” are code words for “I don’t wanna take any risks and try anything new.” I guess you haven’t read Clay Christensen’s book.

    Who says the 23 year olds don’t have any real world experience? I can tell you that Sanaz has a lot more real world experience than you do. And wait until you meet Matt Mullenweg. He’s only 21 and already has people quitting nice executive jobs at Yahoo to join his team.

    I guess any management team you run will have to have 50-year-olds on it, right? Just for “appearances.”

    Oh, and why would a spec be broken after the development team started working on it? Sounds like someone didn’t do their jobs right. It’s even worse than it appears!

  • http://www.scottitude.net/ Scottitude

    You forgot a very important one:

    If you buy into the existence of the “A-List” and the notion that their words are somehow more valuable than less “famous” bloggers, you are part of the bozo explosion.

    We get it already; you and your fellow “A-Listers” lead a charmed life. Get over it.

  • http://www.scottitude.net Scottitude

    You forgot a very important one:

    If you buy into the existence of the “A-List” and the notion that their words are somehow more valuable than less “famous” bloggers, you are part of the bozo explosion.

    We get it already; you and your fellow “A-Listers” lead a charmed life. Get over it.

  • http://scobleizer.wordpress.com/ scobleizer

    Scottitude: charmed life? You want to answer my email? I think even you’ve bought into the hype and not the reality of having thousands of readers every day. It’s not always fun. Not to mention that I’ve spent dozens of hours every week for five years to get here. No one remembers that, they just see the artifact of spending all that time and glorifying it.

  • http://scobleizer.wordpress.com/ scobleizer

    Scottitude: charmed life? You want to answer my email? I think even you’ve bought into the hype and not the reality of having thousands of readers every day. It’s not always fun. Not to mention that I’ve spent dozens of hours every week for five years to get here. No one remembers that, they just see the artifact of spending all that time and glorifying it.

  • Jake

    Any acquisition is serious, even those *under* $100M. As if $100M is nothing to think about.

  • Jake

    Any acquisition is serious, even those *under* $100M. As if $100M is nothing to think about.

  • Jake

    Every corporate blogger is going to claim that blogging is not their only job. We get that. Just reword #9 to be “dominate task” or “the key that unlocks the expense account” or whatever.

  • Jake

    Every corporate blogger is going to claim that blogging is not their only job. We get that. Just reword #9 to be “dominate task” or “the key that unlocks the expense account” or whatever.

  • http://scobleizer.wordpress.com/ scobleizer

    Jake: I agree that $100 million is serious. But, how many people need to be on the approval committee? How much time?

    I think that three is a good number. Lets you move quickly.

    Oh, Christopher, if we followed your rules Apple would never have happened. Neither would have Google. Neither would have HP. Neither would have Netscape. Neither would have a ton of other Silicon Valley companies.

    See, that’s the problem when you follow some prescribed “theories.” You become a bozo factory.

    Also, you say that success hasn’t been replicated outside of our two main business lines? Well, then, I guess you haven’t talked with the SQL Server team. More than a billion in sales. Or, you haven’t talked with the MSN team. More than a billion in sales (and, yes, have lost a bit of money over the years, but still, compared to most businesses in the world would be considered a success except for the fact that they have to compare to Windows and Office, which are two of the best businesses the world has ever seen).

    But, then, as you put it, I’m dumping time in blog comments talking with someone who has never run a major business but just loves talking about such. Got it!

  • http://scobleizer.wordpress.com/ scobleizer

    Jake: I agree that $100 million is serious. But, how many people need to be on the approval committee? How much time?

    I think that three is a good number. Lets you move quickly.

    Oh, Christopher, if we followed your rules Apple would never have happened. Neither would have Google. Neither would have HP. Neither would have Netscape. Neither would have a ton of other Silicon Valley companies.

    See, that’s the problem when you follow some prescribed “theories.” You become a bozo factory.

    Also, you say that success hasn’t been replicated outside of our two main business lines? Well, then, I guess you haven’t talked with the SQL Server team. More than a billion in sales. Or, you haven’t talked with the MSN team. More than a billion in sales (and, yes, have lost a bit of money over the years, but still, compared to most businesses in the world would be considered a success except for the fact that they have to compare to Windows and Office, which are two of the best businesses the world has ever seen).

    But, then, as you put it, I’m dumping time in blog comments talking with someone who has never run a major business but just loves talking about such. Got it!

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  • http://scobleizer.wordpress.com/ scobleizer

    Microsoft News Tracker: I never said there wasn’t anything to hype. I just said let’s keep some skepticism.

  • http://scobleizer.wordpress.com/ scobleizer

    Microsoft News Tracker: I never said there wasn’t anything to hype. I just said let’s keep some skepticism.

  • Jake

    We live in an age of governance.

    But, $100M is pocket change, so it could be 3, I suppose. Bill, Steve, and the guy in the other stall this week.

    Of course, you have 6 pages of corporate execs who all want to be in on some action every now and then.

  • Jake

    We live in an age of governance.

    But, $100M is pocket change, so it could be 3, I suppose. Bill, Steve, and the guy in the other stall this week.

    Of course, you have 6 pages of corporate execs who all want to be in on some action every now and then.

  • http://www.chipstips.com/microblog Sterling Camden

    When the CFO gets promoted to CEO (or worse, buys the company), run! Bean counters notoriously underfund all efforts.

  • http://www.chipstips.com/microblog Sterling Camden

    When the CFO gets promoted to CEO (or worse, buys the company), run! Bean counters notoriously underfund all efforts.