I just got off the phone with Larry Page. He's offered me a job to run Google's PR department and I've decided to take him up on it. Why? Because I finally realized that Steve Gillmor is right. Microsoft Office is dead and I wanted to be at the company that is the future of everything.
Larry and Marissa Mayer, who I met at the Google Zeitgeist conference last year, showed me their top secret plans for the future of the software industry and, WOW, are they unbelieveable.
If you loved Google Earth, you'll go crazy when you see what Larry and Sergey have cooked up! Sorry, I've signed an NDA so you'll just have to wait.
Why else did I decide to leave Microsoft? Well, getting 20% of my time back to do whatever I wanted to certainly played a part. Plus, they increased my salary to more than $100,000 and the free food rocks for a fat guy like me!
Anyway, I wanted you to know the news first before anyone else found out.
My first project will be to convert the Scoble Dashboard over to a Linux box.
Also, as part of the deal, I'll be moving to the new Shanghai Google headquarters since Google is moving to China now. My first job as PR guy for the new Chinese-run Google is to ban all uncredible journalists from writing about Google. This might sound a little evil, but it isn't, the world is better off without them. Sergey will announce on Monday that they are redefining evil to mean "whatever Scoble says is evil."
This also means I will add Google ads to all my Web properties and next week I'll switch my Hotmail email address over to a Gmail one. It's going to be a great move for me and my family.
One of my last duties as a Microsoft employee was to upload some videos of Microsoft pranks throughout the years (cool NERD device!).
Oh, one major factor in my decision was Matt Cutts, Google's top blogger. He got me drunk at Danny Sullivan's Search Engine Strategies conference a few weeks ago and got me to leak all of Microsoft's secrets, not to mention he brainwashed me using Steve Ballmer's new brainwashing device (I don't know how he got one of those, but, heck, I guess billionaires can get anything nowadays). Hey, the brainwashing feels good and my allowance went up a few bucks a week.
Matt's pitch to me? "You can work for Bill Gates anytime, but can you work for a company that's gonna make space elevators along with NASA?" Then he showed me the new Google room search prototype and I forgot about all the lame stuff that Bill Gates showed me at lunch last week.
How could I resist a pitch like that?
As part of the deal I'll have to give up my evil and large software company in Second Life. Google will take that over and will replace the blood fountain with a ping-pong table and heat from my lava field will be mined to provide a new source of energy to run its new datacenters.
I'm off to call Steve Ballmer and give him the bad news. I'll ask him to sit down before telling him.
PS: happy ninth blog birthday to Dave Winer's Scripting News.
Update: did you see the Windows Vista news? Maybe I should have stayed at Microsoft!
Update: Oh, one thing that I learned is Google is going to open up Google Video to let you upload as much porn as you want (or, you can charge per viewings of your own video). Of course this video content will be blocked in China.
[...] One of the interesting by-products of using an RSS reader is the effect it has on the time-honored tradition of April Fools Day. When you stack up hundreds of tongue in cheek spoofs next to each other in a newsreader it’s hard to be fooled, despite many valiant efforts. [...]
windows vista is delayed til 2050…
windows vista is delayed til 2050…
Oh wow….you had me going big time. And to China no less? A classic Mr. Scoble, not soon to be outdone.
Oh wow….you had me going big time. And to China no less? A classic Mr. Scoble, not soon to be outdone.
Luke, yes, this is my biggest dream come true! Free food AND drinks!
Luke, yes, this is my biggest dream come true! Free food AND drinks!
for a year you knew April 1st was coming and this predictable fools joke is the best you could come up with? I don’t see how anyone of your readers could not have predicted such a lame “joke”. You need new writers. Again, geeks should not attempt humor.
for a year you knew April 1st was coming and this predictable fools joke is the best you could come up with? I don’t see how anyone of your readers could not have predicted such a lame “joke”. You need new writers. Again, geeks should not attempt humor.
Dmad: next year I’m gonna play you!
Dmad: next year I’m gonna play you!
针对中国的那几段话一点都不好笑。
针对中国的那几段话一点都不好笑。
I’d be honored.
I’d be honored.
woah i thought that was for real!!!!
-mano
woah i thought that was for real!!!!
-mano
[...] Nice April fools from Scobble. I’ll admit he had me for about 2 paragraphs. It made the top of memeorandum. [...]
[...] AMD finalizes it’s own Itanium implementation Folks, I am just back from a meeting with a top AMD manager. Unfortunately I was not as lucky as Scoble, they did not offer me a job. But she shared an important secret with me. And what the heck, it will leak anyway so why should it not be me becoming famous for blogging it first. Fact: AMD is working on their own Itanium implementation for 4 yearsFact: AMD recently hired top Itanium architects and developers for final tuning of the architecture.Fact: AMD will provide the first Itanium based test systems to close partners later this spring.Fact: The processor will be called Titanion 6. Who’s now a fool, eh? Filed Under: 64-bit, Random, 64-bit for Users [...]
I thought you were for real. Darnit. Your not. It’s april fools. Of course.
I thought you were for real. Darnit. Your not. It’s april fools. Of course.
ha ha ha great joke…unfourtanely you have been on the top of memeorandum all day which has been kinda boring….i wish something more exciting happened today… and di everybody forget apple today. Happy BIrthday Apple. Good joke scoble
ha ha ha great joke…unfourtanely you have been on the top of memeorandum all day which has been kinda boring….i wish something more exciting happened today… and di everybody forget apple today. Happy BIrthday Apple. Good joke scoble
Bob: it’s good that the blogosphere takes a day off once in a while. It gets tiring trying to keep up with it all.
Bob: it’s good that the blogosphere takes a day off once in a while. It gets tiring trying to keep up with it all.
[...] However, the real shocker came when Eric Schmidt made Robert Scoble an offer he couldn’t refuse, and Scoble became the new head of Google’s PR department. Of course, the real big deal was China buying Google, so Scoble and Jeremy had to pack their bags and start working in Beijing. [...]
Microsoft spends company money to pay you to write this stuff?
No wonder Vista is shipping late.
Microsoft spends company money to pay you to write this stuff?
No wonder Vista is shipping late.
[...] Also, what major thing did Google do today that I seemingly missed (no, I didn’t miss Scoble’s “announcement” – which is a hoax – http://scobleizer.wordpress.com/2006/04/01/announcement-im-going-to-google/). Google always seems to do something legitimate on this date (GMail, the upgrade, etc). [...]
Larry Page just called to inform that he is joining Microsoft.
Larry Page just called to inform that he is joining Microsoft.
a slave
a slave
really, what a poor attempt to fool people.
really, what a poor attempt to fool people.
Russell: I wrote this on Saturday. It’s my own time, thank you very much!
Russell: I wrote this on Saturday. It’s my own time, thank you very much!
Hi Robert,
You write stuff here during the week for Microsoft so a Saturday post is different how?
Is there some disclaimer I’m missing?
Let me know, thanks.
And it still sucks that Vista is shipping late.
Are you a coder?
You should spend more time coding.
Hi Robert,
You write stuff here during the week for Microsoft so a Saturday post is different how?
Is there some disclaimer I’m missing?
Let me know, thanks.
And it still sucks that Vista is shipping late.
Are you a coder?
You should spend more time coding.
Russell: I am not a coder and never said I was.
The job I get paid for is over on Channel 9. http://channel9.msdn.com — hope that helps.
Russell: I am not a coder and never said I was.
The job I get paid for is over on Channel 9. http://channel9.msdn.com — hope that helps.
I agree that a day off for the news is a good thing, Robert. It’d be great if someday we could get to a world where such a thing was possible for everyone.
I agree that a day off for the news is a good thing, Robert. It’d be great if someday we could get to a world where such a thing was possible for everyone.
[...] Le blogueur évangéliste de Microsoft, Robert Scoble, annonce aujourd’hui sur son blog Scobleizer qu’il rejoint Google, suite à un coup de téléphone d’un des deux fondateurs : “Larry Page vient de m’appeler. Il m’a proposé le poste de patron des relations publiques de Google, et j’ai accepté. Pourquoi ? Parce que je viens de comprendre que Steve Gillmor a raison. Microsoft Office est mort, et je veux rejoindre la société qui est notre futur.” [...]
Hi Robert,
It apparently doesn’t help Vista ship any sooner.
Hi Robert,
It apparently doesn’t help Vista ship any sooner.
Had me worried there for a sec…
Luckily though, when I didn’t see any mention of Chuck Norris, I knew it couldn’t be real.
Had me worried there for a sec…
Luckily though, when I didn’t see any mention of Chuck Norris, I knew it couldn’t be real.
[...] Scoble moves to Google. [...]
Um…Russell…Robert doesn’t even work directly for the Vista team. He’s an evangelist. Short of being a gopher for the programmers, exactly WHAT is he going to do?
As well, even if he was…I don’t want code written by people pushing 100 hour weeks. All that does is guarantee buggy, craptacular code. There’s a reason why Unions pushed for a weekend. You need some “away” time from work. Otherwise, your brain turns to mush.