Announcement, I’m going to Google

I just got off the phone with Larry Page. He's offered me a job to run Google's PR department and I've decided to take him up on it. Why? Because I finally realized that Steve Gillmor is right. Microsoft Office is dead and I wanted to be at the company that is the future of everything.

Larry and Marissa Mayer, who I met at the Google Zeitgeist conference last year, showed me their top secret plans for the future of the software industry and, WOW, are they unbelieveable.

If you loved Google Earth, you'll go crazy when you see what Larry and Sergey have cooked up! Sorry, I've signed an NDA so you'll just have to wait.

Why else did I decide to leave Microsoft? Well, getting 20% of my time back to do whatever I wanted to certainly played a part. Plus, they increased my salary to more than $100,000 and the free food rocks for a fat guy like me!

Anyway, I wanted you to know the news first before anyone else found out.

My first project will be to convert the Scoble Dashboard over to a Linux box.

Also, as part of the deal, I'll be moving to the new Shanghai Google headquarters since Google is moving to China now. My first job as PR guy for the new Chinese-run Google is to ban all uncredible journalists from writing about Google. This might sound a little evil, but it isn't, the world is better off without them. Sergey will announce on Monday that they are redefining evil to mean "whatever Scoble says is evil."

This also means I will add Google ads to all my Web properties and next week I'll switch my Hotmail email address over to a Gmail one. It's going to be a great move for me and my family.

One of my last duties as a Microsoft employee was to upload some videos of Microsoft pranks throughout the years (cool NERD device!).

Oh, one major factor in my decision was Matt Cutts, Google's top blogger. He got me drunk at Danny Sullivan's Search Engine Strategies conference a few weeks ago and got me to leak all of Microsoft's secrets, not to mention he brainwashed me using Steve Ballmer's new brainwashing device (I don't know how he got one of those, but, heck, I guess billionaires can get anything nowadays). Hey, the brainwashing feels good and my allowance went up a few bucks a week.

Matt's pitch to me? "You can work for Bill Gates anytime, but can you work for a company that's gonna make space elevators along with NASA?" Then he showed me the new Google room search prototype and I forgot about all the lame stuff that Bill Gates showed me at lunch last week.

How could I resist a pitch like that?

As part of the deal I'll have to give up my evil and large software company in Second Life. Google will take that over and will replace the blood fountain with a ping-pong table and heat from my lava field will be mined to provide a new source of energy to run its new datacenters.

I'm off to call Steve Ballmer and give him the bad news. I'll ask him to sit down before telling him.

PS: happy ninth blog birthday to Dave Winer's Scripting News.

Update: did you see the Windows Vista news? Maybe I should have stayed at Microsoft!

Update: Oh, one thing that I learned is Google is going to open up Google Video to let you upload as much porn as you want (or, you can charge per viewings of your own video). Of course this video content will be blocked in China.

Comments

  1. The only problem with this is that I clicked on Scobleizer in bloglines, thinking “Ok, so what’s Scoble’s April Fool going to be? Something about Google, probably.”

    Must try harder :)

  2. The only problem with this is that I clicked on Scobleizer in bloglines, thinking “Ok, so what’s Scoble’s April Fool going to be? Something about Google, probably.”

    Must try harder :)

  3. I was thinking about the “What If”
    You might want to milk it for a raise or something, plus you deserve that 20% of your time, and how hard would it be to get you an “eat free” card to the cafateria.

  4. I was thinking about the “What If”
    You might want to milk it for a raise or something, plus you deserve that 20% of your time, and how hard would it be to get you an “eat free” card to the cafateria.

  5. Hehe that made me lol irl. My wife doesn’t get it though :(

    PS its my birthday tomorrow w00t!

  6. Hehe that made me lol irl. My wife doesn’t get it though :(

    PS its my birthday tomorrow w00t!

  7. You don’t know it yet, but since Matt Cutts is actually moving to Yahoo!, you’ve been duped into thinking you’ll go working at Google, while what will happen is that Yahoo! bought Google *AND* AOL and your next title will be “Chief Blogging Officer” at AOL.

    I’m sorry, but someone had to break the news to you, sooner or later.

  8. You don’t know it yet, but since Matt Cutts is actually moving to Yahoo!, you’ve been duped into thinking you’ll go working at Google, while what will happen is that Yahoo! bought Google *AND* AOL and your next title will be “Chief Blogging Officer” at AOL.

    I’m sorry, but someone had to break the news to you, sooner or later.

  9. [...] Only the title which now reads Robert Scoble Goes To Google actually read Eric Scoble Goes To Google. I have to say within about 30 seconds of finishing the post Scobes put a comment on there asking who Eric is – go figure. That was funny. So I did a quick search of Pig Pen and be stuffed if I didn’t write Eric Scoble a couple of months ago on another post there. [...]

  10. “Larry and Marissa Mayer, who I met at the Google Zeitgeist conference last year, showed me their top secret plans for the future of the software industry…”

    I had Grace read your post and when she read that line about the “top secret plans” she looked back at me and said “Sounds like Rocky and Bullwinkle!” and I almost laughed myself out of my chair. I can hear Boris’s fake accent. Hope your old friends at Whatsamatta U (or was it SJSU?) read of your move.

  11. “Larry and Marissa Mayer, who I met at the Google Zeitgeist conference last year, showed me their top secret plans for the future of the software industry…”

    I had Grace read your post and when she read that line about the “top secret plans” she looked back at me and said “Sounds like Rocky and Bullwinkle!” and I almost laughed myself out of my chair. I can hear Boris’s fake accent. Hope your old friends at Whatsamatta U (or was it SJSU?) read of your move.

  12. I am trying to get a gig at Google myself.
    I met some insiders at the 3rd Annual Nigerian Google Ad Conference and Golf Tournament. I was told that I could make $900,000 more a year than I am now at Uncle Spams in Washington DC, plus free lunch and soda. I visited the Google Washington office and I’ll tell you, it is impressive! Just going to work at such a fine place and making the world a better place with Google ads seems like a dream come true in this crazy and mixed up world. I have applied to be product manager for the new golfball ad network. I believe ads on golfballs are the future of the sport and will improve the game for all my Nigerian associates and the world at large.
    Your pal,
    Frank

  13. I am trying to get a gig at Google myself.
    I met some insiders at the 3rd Annual Nigerian Google Ad Conference and Golf Tournament. I was told that I could make $900,000 more a year than I am now at Uncle Spams in Washington DC, plus free lunch and soda. I visited the Google Washington office and I’ll tell you, it is impressive! Just going to work at such a fine place and making the world a better place with Google ads seems like a dream come true in this crazy and mixed up world. I have applied to be product manager for the new golfball ad network. I believe ads on golfballs are the future of the sport and will improve the game for all my Nigerian associates and the world at large.
    Your pal,
    Frank

  14. I just don’t trust my own judgement without checking Google first. When I’m looking for a little evil, if I find it on Google I know it can’t be evil so I use Google to do no evil and another search engines to take care of all the fun and sinister stuff that makes life worth living here in Dublin.
    Thanks,
    Frank O
    Dublin, Ireland

  15. I just don’t trust my own judgement without checking Google first. When I’m looking for a little evil, if I find it on Google I know it can’t be evil so I use Google to do no evil and another search engines to take care of all the fun and sinister stuff that makes life worth living here in Dublin.
    Thanks,
    Frank O
    Dublin, Ireland

  16. Being dead shouldn’t stop you from reaching your Google AdWords goals. After I died, my income grew by 300% and went right on growing with the new AdWords Afterlife program by Google, you can make money from here to eternity.

    Gone but not forgotten,
    Vic
    P.S. Sign up today, because you could be dead by Sunday! Know what I mean?

  17. Being dead shouldn’t stop you from reaching your Google AdWords goals. After I died, my income grew by 300% and went right on growing with the new AdWords Afterlife program by Google, you can make money from here to eternity.

    Gone but not forgotten,
    Vic
    P.S. Sign up today, because you could be dead by Sunday! Know what I mean?

  18. SWM ISO DSWM
    Looking for long-term relationship and cradle 2 grave security.

    I demand a creature of another sex, but as hideous as myself. . . . It is true, we shall be monsters, cut off from all the world; but on that account we shall be more attached to one another. Our lives will not be happy, but they will be harmless, and free from the misery I now feel.

    Must have AdWords account and Afterlife program or drop dead.

  19. SWM ISO DSWM
    Looking for long-term relationship and cradle 2 grave security.

    I demand a creature of another sex, but as hideous as myself. . . . It is true, we shall be monsters, cut off from all the world; but on that account we shall be more attached to one another. Our lives will not be happy, but they will be harmless, and free from the misery I now feel.

    Must have AdWords account and Afterlife program or drop dead.

  20. Post 30 looks like spam.
    Webmarketing espan ull.
    Looking for Pigeon Rank.
    Use English aholes.
    This isn’t Mexico here.

  21. Post 30 looks like spam.
    Webmarketing espan ull.
    Looking for Pigeon Rank.
    Use English aholes.
    This isn’t Mexico here.

  22. What I wonder about is: Is there any such story of one of the a-listers or any other famous web-people that one would instantly realise as an aprils fool joke but then comes out that it is NOT? Wouldn’t that be a great marketing gig for the new product, position, whatever? Is there something like this? Would love to here about it…

  23. What I wonder about is: Is there any such story of one of the a-listers or any other famous web-people that one would instantly realise as an aprils fool joke but then comes out that it is NOT? Wouldn’t that be a great marketing gig for the new product, position, whatever? Is there something like this? Would love to here about it…

  24. Jason,
    Nobody is forcing you to look at this.
    You come here and then bitch about being here.
    You are a moron. No fooling.

  25. Jason,
    Nobody is forcing you to look at this.
    You come here and then bitch about being here.
    You are a moron. No fooling.

  26. Whassup Gloria. I’ll suck you dry baby.
    Do you want go down with the Count? I’m no softie, if you know what it is! You know what to do.

    Yours for the sucking,
    C.D.
    Pennsylvania

  27. Whassup Gloria. I’ll suck you dry baby.
    Do you want go down with the Count? I’m no softie, if you know what it is! You know what to do.

    Yours for the sucking,
    C.D.
    Pennsylvania

  28. If there hadn’t been so much hype about April Fools on everyone’s blogs then it could have been more believable, that combined with too much hyperbole made it too big of a pill to swallow.

  29. If there hadn’t been so much hype about April Fools on everyone’s blogs then it could have been more believable, that combined with too much hyperbole made it too big of a pill to swallow.

  30. Wasn’t Dave Winer quitting blogging? This farewell tour is going to be longer than the ones by most old rock’n’rollers! ;)

  31. Wasn’t Dave Winer quitting blogging? This farewell tour is going to be longer than the ones by most old rock’n’rollers! ;)

  32. Robert,

    I am sure you are a nice person, and that I’d value knowing you personally, but you are doing yourself a disservice by blogging the way you do. Let me explain how.

    You try and use sarcasm and humor to cover sentiments that are not positive. This post of yours is a perfect example.

    You attempt to come off as open and accepting by using humor and (false?) humility, but in your posts you routinely jab at the competition in an extremely transparent way. You use humor to do so, but that just makes it that more repulsive.

    Your problem is one of definition. Nobody knows where you stand. You attempt to appear open to other products, but when you post to give them props it looks like a textbook example of making a post precisely for the purpose of having something to show others when you’re challenged for being biased. I’d almost bet you have a list of “pro-apple” and “pro-google” permalink addresses that you use for cut and paste responses.

    Again, I don’t think you’re a bad guy. I think you’re smart, have a good sense of humor, and you are loyal to your company.

    But just be that. Please. Don’t pretend to be open and non-competitive and then use humor and sarcasm to take swipes at the competition. It not only makes you look bad personally, but it makes Microsoft look bad as well.

    Your current style reeks of a rigged Microsoft vs. Linux competition where the entire spin is to have it appear to come from a neutral source. See, it wouldn’t be so bad if you (or the bakeoff) dropped all pretense of neutrality. It’d be genuine at that point and people could decide on their own whether the testing conditions (or your comments) were legitimate or not.

    But to pretend one thing while being another is something else altogether. You may not have realized this, but this is the underlying cause of all the recent aggro you’ve been pulling. It’s the deception, not your views.

    Anyway, sorry to be negative here. I think you’re a good blogger and would just like to see you “come out” and drop the “I’m neutral” bit. It’d be refreshing, and I think you’d earn a lot of respect as a result.

    Kindly,

    -Daniel Miessler

  33. Robert,

    I am sure you are a nice person, and that I’d value knowing you personally, but you are doing yourself a disservice by blogging the way you do. Let me explain how.

    You try and use sarcasm and humor to cover sentiments that are not positive. This post of yours is a perfect example.

    You attempt to come off as open and accepting by using humor and (false?) humility, but in your posts you routinely jab at the competition in an extremely transparent way. You use humor to do so, but that just makes it that more repulsive.

    Your problem is one of definition. Nobody knows where you stand. You attempt to appear open to other products, but when you post to give them props it looks like a textbook example of making a post precisely for the purpose of having something to show others when you’re challenged for being biased. I’d almost bet you have a list of “pro-apple” and “pro-google” permalink addresses that you use for cut and paste responses.

    Again, I don’t think you’re a bad guy. I think you’re smart, have a good sense of humor, and you are loyal to your company.

    But just be that. Please. Don’t pretend to be open and non-competitive and then use humor and sarcasm to take swipes at the competition. It not only makes you look bad personally, but it makes Microsoft look bad as well.

    Your current style reeks of a rigged Microsoft vs. Linux competition where the entire spin is to have it appear to come from a neutral source. See, it wouldn’t be so bad if you (or the bakeoff) dropped all pretense of neutrality. It’d be genuine at that point and people could decide on their own whether the testing conditions (or your comments) were legitimate or not.

    But to pretend one thing while being another is something else altogether. You may not have realized this, but this is the underlying cause of all the recent aggro you’ve been pulling. It’s the deception, not your views.

    Anyway, sorry to be negative here. I think you’re a good blogger and would just like to see you “come out” and drop the “I’m neutral” bit. It’d be refreshing, and I think you’d earn a lot of respect as a result.

    Kindly,

    -Daniel Miessler

  34. “This farewell tour is going to be longer than the ones by most old rock’n’rollers!” It might be like Ground Hog Day meets April Fools Day.

    I keep changing my mind, I’m going to blog, I’m not, I am….I can’t decide. Watch this space for more information as I try to get you to talk me out of blogging. Oops, I mean not blogging.

    I’m trying to sell my geek blog tool to Google for millions, so you know who is pinging and what is being pinged. I have all your money and wasted all your time you suckers and I just got a ping pong table so I have less time for blogging. Do you play ping pong? I am launching a new pong service and it should have a blog called Pong Blog News.

  35. “This farewell tour is going to be longer than the ones by most old rock’n’rollers!” It might be like Ground Hog Day meets April Fools Day.

    I keep changing my mind, I’m going to blog, I’m not, I am….I can’t decide. Watch this space for more information as I try to get you to talk me out of blogging. Oops, I mean not blogging.

    I’m trying to sell my geek blog tool to Google for millions, so you know who is pinging and what is being pinged. I have all your money and wasted all your time you suckers and I just got a ping pong table so I have less time for blogging. Do you play ping pong? I am launching a new pong service and it should have a blog called Pong Blog News.

  36. Google China could buy Pong Blog News [for flat world] from me for billions of dollars. Then I can have tea with the queen and crackers with important people.
    I will set the ping server to pong serve you Scobleizer.

  37. Google China could buy Pong Blog News [for flat world] from me for billions of dollars. Then I can have tea with the queen and crackers with important people.
    I will set the ping server to pong serve you Scobleizer.

  38. [...] Gotta love the tech industry’s april fools jokes, from Scoble’s announcement that he’s going to Google (after being offered a job than none other than the man himself, Larry Page), The Register reporting that China buys Google, and The Tech Journal has an amusing one about Microsoft deciding to change direction with Windows Vista and release it on a Linux Kernel.  I’m sure we’ll be seeing some good ones throughout today. Wonder what Google is gonna scheme up.  Cant see anything on there atm… [...]

  39. Breaking News
    PBN–New China
    Winer to open diner with Google VC.
    Suddenly, life was more than french fries, gravy and girls. Serving billions and billions at McWiners Diners.

  40. Mr Scoble, For about 3 paragraphs, you really had my heart in my mouth.

    I was reading this post through NewsGator so I didn’t see the “April Fools” tag. Plus, it is 10:35pm here in Australia and April Fools jokes were over hours ago. Great post. Loved the cool NERD device too.

  41. Breaking News
    PBN–New China
    Winer to open diner with Google VC.
    Suddenly, life was more than french fries, gravy and girls. Serving billions and billions at McWiners Diners.

  42. Mr Scoble, For about 3 paragraphs, you really had my heart in my mouth.

    I was reading this post through NewsGator so I didn’t see the “April Fools” tag. Plus, it is 10:35pm here in Australia and April Fools jokes were over hours ago. Great post. Loved the cool NERD device too.

  43. Pong to Scoblizer, pong to Scoblizer, come in Scobilizer. [Exidor is trying to get Winers memory back] All right, Scoblizer, put your hands in front of your face, and repeat after me. “Oh, no, please don’t.”

  44. Pong to Scoblizer, pong to Scoblizer, come in Scobilizer. [Exidor is trying to get Winers memory back] All right, Scoblizer, put your hands in front of your face, and repeat after me. “Oh, no, please don’t.”

  45. Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream.
    Watch out for position 0 friends.
    Microsoft .NET Framework Version:2.0.50727.42; ASP.NET Version:2.0.50727.42

    You guys might want to fix that. No joking!

  46. Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream.
    Watch out for position 0 friends.
    Microsoft .NET Framework Version:2.0.50727.42; ASP.NET Version:2.0.50727.42

    You guys might want to fix that. No joking!

  47. THIS IS WEIRD STUFF. From the people that brought you e-voting Advantage.

    [IndexOutOfRangeException: There is no row at position 0.]
    Microsoft.VisualBasic.CompilerServices.Container.InvokeMethod(Method TargetProcedure, Object[] Arguments, Boolean[] CopyBack, BindingFlags Flags) +272
    Microsoft.VisualBasic.CompilerServices.NewLateBinding.CallMethod(Container BaseReference, String MethodName, Object[] Arguments, String[] ArgumentNames, Type[] TypeArguments, Boolean[] CopyBack, BindingFlags InvocationFlags, Boolean ReportErrors, ResolutionFailure& Failure) +196
    Microsoft.VisualBasic.CompilerServices.NewLateBinding.InternalLateIndexGet(Object Instance, Object[] Arguments, String[] ArgumentNames, Boolean ReportErrors, ResolutionFailure& Failure) +197
    Microsoft.VisualBasic.CompilerServices.NewLateBinding.LateGet(Object Instance, Type Type, String MemberName, Object[] Arguments, String[] ArgumentNames, Type[] TypeArguments, Boolean[] CopyBack) +534
    ASP.includes_watch_this_ascx.Page_Load() in E:Inetpubwwwrootv2includeswatch_this.ascx:27
    System.Web.Util.CalliHelper.ArglessFunctionCaller(IntPtr fp, Object o) +5
    System.Web.Util.CalliEventHandlerDelegateProxy.Callback(Object sender, EventArgs e) +781903
    System.Web.UI.Control.OnLoad(EventArgs e) +99
    System.Web.UI.Control.LoadRecursive() +47
    System.Web.UI.Control.LoadRecursive() +131
    System.Web.UI.Page.ProcessRequestMain(Boolean includeStagesBeforeAsyncPoint, Boolean includeStagesAfterAsyncPoint) +1061

  48. THIS IS WEIRD STUFF. From the people that brought you e-voting Advantage.

    [IndexOutOfRangeException: There is no row at position 0.]
    Microsoft.VisualBasic.CompilerServices.Container.InvokeMethod(Method TargetProcedure, Object[] Arguments, Boolean[] CopyBack, BindingFlags Flags) +272
    Microsoft.VisualBasic.CompilerServices.NewLateBinding.CallMethod(Container BaseReference, String MethodName, Object[] Arguments, String[] ArgumentNames, Type[] TypeArguments, Boolean[] CopyBack, BindingFlags InvocationFlags, Boolean ReportErrors, ResolutionFailure& Failure) +196
    Microsoft.VisualBasic.CompilerServices.NewLateBinding.InternalLateIndexGet(Object Instance, Object[] Arguments, String[] ArgumentNames, Boolean ReportErrors, ResolutionFailure& Failure) +197
    Microsoft.VisualBasic.CompilerServices.NewLateBinding.LateGet(Object Instance, Type Type, String MemberName, Object[] Arguments, String[] ArgumentNames, Type[] TypeArguments, Boolean[] CopyBack) +534
    ASP.includes_watch_this_ascx.Page_Load() in E:Inetpubwwwrootv2includeswatch_this.ascx:27
    System.Web.Util.CalliHelper.ArglessFunctionCaller(IntPtr fp, Object o) +5
    System.Web.Util.CalliEventHandlerDelegateProxy.Callback(Object sender, EventArgs e) +781903
    System.Web.UI.Control.OnLoad(EventArgs e) +99
    System.Web.UI.Control.LoadRecursive() +47
    System.Web.UI.Control.LoadRecursive() +131
    System.Web.UI.Page.ProcessRequestMain(Boolean includeStagesBeforeAsyncPoint, Boolean includeStagesAfterAsyncPoint) +1061

  49. ArglessFunctionCaller
    Say what?
    CalliEventHandlerDelegateProxy.
    That’s what I always said!
    If you need a politician, don’t call a plumber.

  50. ArglessFunctionCaller
    Say what?
    CalliEventHandlerDelegateProxy.
    That’s what I always said!
    If you need a politician, don’t call a plumber.

  51. Here is why I believe Scoble is leaving Microsoft.
    E:Inetpubwwwrootv2includeswatch_this.ascx:27
    The guy must of gotten really pissed. I know I would of.

  52. Here is why I believe Scoble is leaving Microsoft.
    E:Inetpubwwwrootv2includeswatch_this.ascx:27
    The guy must of gotten really pissed. I know I would of.

  53. Windows Hasta La Vista 2.0 for Babies.
    Works with Crapster for Windows Media.
    Now on sale at G-Mart and Bills Clubs worldwide.

  54. Windows Hasta La Vista 2.0 for Babies.
    Works with Crapster for Windows Media.
    Now on sale at G-Mart and Bills Clubs worldwide.

  55. [...] Scoble’s pronouncement, issued in the first ‘graph of his post announcing his defection to Google, is going to rattle a lot of cages: I just got off the phone with Larry Page. He’s offered me a job to run Google’s PR department and I’ve decided to take him up on it. Why? Because I finally realized that Steve Gillmor is right. Microsoft Office is dead and I wanted to be at the company that is the future of everything. [...]

  56. Damn! The market’s closed. Google will probably drop 5% on this rumor, even though it is an april fool’s gag.

  57. Damn! The market’s closed. Google will probably drop 5% on this rumor, even though it is an april fool’s gag.

  58. Microsoft Launches Windows Live Music (iTunes-Like)

    iTunes is not the only music downloading service in town as Microsoft has gotten ready to sideline Apple with the launch of their latest online innovative Windows Live Music (WLM). This announcement has taken the whole of the web by surprise and I don&…

  59. Wow! Congratulations.

    Hey, I’ve been having trouble getting this vital news out. I think that my tinfoil hat is blocking the Google spider, but I can’t take it off for obvious reasons. Anyway, could you check on that for me?

  60. Wow! Congratulations.

    Hey, I’ve been having trouble getting this vital news out. I think that my tinfoil hat is blocking the Google spider, but I can’t take it off for obvious reasons. Anyway, could you check on that for me?

  61. [...] Given the day that’s in it – some GOOG-related funny tales I fell across today: Scoble’s decided to Play Evil with the GOOG monster and GOOG to go into match-making [...]

  62. Obviously you have no limits left in your life for boosting up your site hit counts.

    In other April Fools Day news, I found my PC mouse no longer worked this morning. I rebooted the PC. Nope. Still not working. Dusted off and reset all the USB cables. Nope. Still not working.

    Turned the mouse over to look at the bottom. Covering the LED was a small bit of Post-It note with the words “April Fool!” written on it in what appeared to be my wife’s handwriting.

    Then again it might have been Scoble’s handwriting.

    Hmm…

  63. Obviously you have no limits left in your life for boosting up your site hit counts.

    In other April Fools Day news, I found my PC mouse no longer worked this morning. I rebooted the PC. Nope. Still not working. Dusted off and reset all the USB cables. Nope. Still not working.

    Turned the mouse over to look at the bottom. Covering the LED was a small bit of Post-It note with the words “April Fool!” written on it in what appeared to be my wife’s handwriting.

    Then again it might have been Scoble’s handwriting.

    Hmm…

  64. Strumpette’s Death Pool Ends

    You know, Smurfette is so right. I just can’t hack it at Edelman. It’s time to throw in the towel. So, I have decided to turn a new page and join forces with Jeremy Pepper. It’s the only way I

  65. Robert,

    Please don’t forget the non-disclosure agreement you signed when you joined Microsoft. Our corporate legal department will be performing your exit interview so don’t forget to stop by Building 14 before you leave. Please remember to turn in your employee badge and parking pass. We have already canceled your Hotmail account, XBox Live account and your unlimited spending privileges at the Microsoft Store. One more thing before you go. Steve has a chair with your name on it he would like to “present” to you. Oh yeah, please leave the Channel 9 guy on in your cubicle as he will be replacing you on the team.

    Best regards,

    Bill

  66. Robert,

    Please don’t forget the non-disclosure agreement you signed when you joined Microsoft. Our corporate legal department will be performing your exit interview so don’t forget to stop by Building 14 before you leave. Please remember to turn in your employee badge and parking pass. We have already canceled your Hotmail account, XBox Live account and your unlimited spending privileges at the Microsoft Store. One more thing before you go. Steve has a chair with your name on it he would like to “present” to you. Oh yeah, please leave the Channel 9 guy on in your cubicle as he will be replacing you on the team.

    Best regards,

    Bill

  67. You bad little insignificant turd of a geek.

    As someone already said, the move to Google was the most obvious April Fool’s drivel you could have come up with. You could have been more imaginative, but why bother I guess, its April Fool’s, its happy time, everyone will get up at 5:00 AM to see what new fun-fun thing “The scobelizer” has in store for them. Everyday, I feel you are getting close to being the Bill O’ Reilly of technology.

    And please stop calling yourself “Scobeilizer” or did you just want to reinforce your image as “Microsoft’s geek blogger”. Aw come on, you call yourself a geek when you sit on your ass all day drumming up the FOX news of tech while real geeks up in Redmond are writing sw. Come on man, the whole look at me, I’m a geek thing is old now.

  68. You bad little insignificant turd of a geek.

    As someone already said, the move to Google was the most obvious April Fool’s drivel you could have come up with. You could have been more imaginative, but why bother I guess, its April Fool’s, its happy time, everyone will get up at 5:00 AM to see what new fun-fun thing “The scobelizer” has in store for them. Everyday, I feel you are getting close to being the Bill O’ Reilly of technology.

    And please stop calling yourself “Scobeilizer” or did you just want to reinforce your image as “Microsoft’s geek blogger”. Aw come on, you call yourself a geek when you sit on your ass all day drumming up the FOX news of tech while real geeks up in Redmond are writing sw. Come on man, the whole look at me, I’m a geek thing is old now.

  69. Tranquility Base to Scoble.
    We have a little problem here Scoble.
    The NewLateBinding.net probe reports a failure to communicate. You’re on your own for now. Good luck Scoble. You keep rockin there baby and we’ll keep rolling at TB. It will all work out because it has to.
    We need to cancel your passport. Use System 14 for navigational purposes and avoid the rocks.
    Tranquility Base out Scoble.

  70. The only problem you may face is they just hired Wermer to be your boss. Please bring a spreadsheet with your projected returns on Google’s investment on you to the office on Monday morning.

  71. Tranquility Base to Scoble.
    We have a little problem here Scoble.
    The NewLateBinding.net probe reports a failure to communicate. You’re on your own for now. Good luck Scoble. You keep rockin there baby and we’ll keep rolling at TB. It will all work out because it has to.
    We need to cancel your passport. Use System 14 for navigational purposes and avoid the rocks.
    Tranquility Base out Scoble.

  72. The only problem you may face is they just hired Wermer to be your boss. Please bring a spreadsheet with your projected returns on Google’s investment on you to the office on Monday morning.

  73. I immediately realized your post was bogus the minute I got there. But I have to confess that seeing Google Geek Blogger in my newsreader totally got me. In fact, I’d just responded to a post about one of your Naked Conversations presentations at another blog, saw the subtitle and thought I’d really gotten confused about who you worked for.

    I should have had some coffee since I’m obviously not accessing detailed mental information properly at the moment.

  74. I immediately realized your post was bogus the minute I got there. But I have to confess that seeing Google Geek Blogger in my newsreader totally got me. In fact, I’d just responded to a post about one of your Naked Conversations presentations at another blog, saw the subtitle and thought I’d really gotten confused about who you worked for.

    I should have had some coffee since I’m obviously not accessing detailed mental information properly at the moment.

  75. Darn, too bad you’re not staying with Microsoft. Bill Gates just called to hire me as his CEO blogging coach! He insisted I fly out to Seattle first thing Monday… cool, huh?!

  76. Darn, too bad you’re not staying with Microsoft. Bill Gates just called to hire me as his CEO blogging coach! He insisted I fly out to Seattle first thing Monday… cool, huh?!

  77. [...] var postURL = “http://amblogger.net/archives/amblogger-comeback-going-pro/”; var postTitle = “AmBlogger Comeback, Going Pro??”; var commentAuthorFieldName = “author”; var commentAuthorLoggedIn = false; var commentFormID =”commentform”; var commentTextFieldName = “comment”; var commentButtonName = “submit”; var cocomment_force = false; [...]

  78. First the Best Actor Oscar for “Capote,” now a primo job at Google. You’re having a very good year, indeed. If you can manage to kick Brad to the curb and get Angelina, I will worship you as a god.

  79. First the Best Actor Oscar for “Capote,” now a primo job at Google. You’re having a very good year, indeed. If you can manage to kick Brad to the curb and get Angelina, I will worship you as a god.

  80. sadly enough, I didn’t get a laugh out of this, not believable for one word!! you overdid it this time Robert!! ;)

  81. sadly enough, I didn’t get a laugh out of this, not believable for one word!! you overdid it this time Robert!! ;)

  82. Now if you were to say that Microsoft was supporting ebooks on multiple platforms, that would be a great April Fool’s joke, i mean, come on, MICROSOFT, supporting READING outside of WINDOWS?

    BWAAHAHAHAAHAHAH

  83. Now if you were to say that Microsoft was supporting ebooks on multiple platforms, that would be a great April Fool’s joke, i mean, come on, MICROSOFT, supporting READING outside of WINDOWS?

    BWAAHAHAHAAHAHAH

  84. [...] One of the interesting by-products of using an RSS reader is the effect it has on the time-honored tradition of April Fools Day. When you stack up hundreds of tongue in cheek spoofs next to each other in a newsreader it’s hard to be fooled, despite many valiant efforts. [...]

  85. for a year you knew April 1st was coming and this predictable fools joke is the best you could come up with? I don’t see how anyone of your readers could not have predicted such a lame “joke”. You need new writers. Again, geeks should not attempt humor.

  86. for a year you knew April 1st was coming and this predictable fools joke is the best you could come up with? I don’t see how anyone of your readers could not have predicted such a lame “joke”. You need new writers. Again, geeks should not attempt humor.

  87. [...] AMD finalizes it’s own Itanium implementation Folks, I am just back from a meeting with a top AMD manager. Unfortunately I was not as lucky as Scoble, they did not offer me a job. But she shared an important secret with me. And what the heck, it will leak anyway so why should it not be me becoming famous for blogging it first. Fact: AMD is working on their own Itanium implementation for 4 yearsFact: AMD recently hired top Itanium architects and developers for final tuning of the architecture.Fact: AMD will provide the first Itanium based test systems to close partners later this spring.Fact: The processor will be called Titanion 6. Who’s now a fool, eh? Filed Under: 64-bit, Random, 64-bit for Users [...]

  88. ha ha ha great joke…unfourtanely you have been on the top of memeorandum all day which has been kinda boring….i wish something more exciting happened today… and di everybody forget apple today. Happy BIrthday Apple. Good joke scoble

  89. ha ha ha great joke…unfourtanely you have been on the top of memeorandum all day which has been kinda boring….i wish something more exciting happened today… and di everybody forget apple today. Happy BIrthday Apple. Good joke scoble

  90. Hi Robert,

    You write stuff here during the week for Microsoft so a Saturday post is different how?
    Is there some disclaimer I’m missing?
    Let me know, thanks.

    And it still sucks that Vista is shipping late.

    Are you a coder?
    You should spend more time coding.

  91. Hi Robert,

    You write stuff here during the week for Microsoft so a Saturday post is different how?
    Is there some disclaimer I’m missing?
    Let me know, thanks.

    And it still sucks that Vista is shipping late.

    Are you a coder?
    You should spend more time coding.

  92. I agree that a day off for the news is a good thing, Robert. It’d be great if someday we could get to a world where such a thing was possible for everyone.

  93. I agree that a day off for the news is a good thing, Robert. It’d be great if someday we could get to a world where such a thing was possible for everyone.

  94. [...] Le blogueur évangéliste de Microsoft, Robert Scoble, annonce aujourd’hui sur son blog Scobleizer qu’il rejoint Google, suite à un coup de téléphone d’un des deux fondateurs : “Larry Page vient de m’appeler. Il m’a proposé le poste de patron des relations publiques de Google, et j’ai accepté. Pourquoi ? Parce que je viens de comprendre que Steve Gillmor a raison. Microsoft Office est mort, et je veux rejoindre la société qui est notre futur.” [...]

  95. Had me worried there for a sec…

    Luckily though, when I didn’t see any mention of Chuck Norris, I knew it couldn’t be real.

  96. Had me worried there for a sec…

    Luckily though, when I didn’t see any mention of Chuck Norris, I knew it couldn’t be real.

  97. Um…Russell…Robert doesn’t even work directly for the Vista team. He’s an evangelist. Short of being a gopher for the programmers, exactly WHAT is he going to do?

    As well, even if he was…I don’t want code written by people pushing 100 hour weeks. All that does is guarantee buggy, craptacular code. There’s a reason why Unions pushed for a weekend. You need some “away” time from work. Otherwise, your brain turns to mush.

  98. Um…Russell…Robert doesn’t even work directly for the Vista team. He’s an evangelist. Short of being a gopher for the programmers, exactly WHAT is he going to do?

    As well, even if he was…I don’t want code written by people pushing 100 hour weeks. All that does is guarantee buggy, craptacular code. There’s a reason why Unions pushed for a weekend. You need some “away” time from work. Otherwise, your brain turns to mush.

  99. [...] Scobleizer – Microsoft Geek Blogger » Announcement, I’m going to Google Announcement, I’m going to Google I just got off the phone with Larry Page. He’s offered me a job to run Google’s PR department and I’ve decided to take him up on it. Why? Because I finally realized that Steve Gillmor is right. Microsoft Office is dead and I wanted to be at the company that is the future of everything. [...]

  100. [...] So it is pretty obvious that the post about Google hiring me was a joke. Whether it was funny or not is not the matter. What I am annoyed about it Scobleizer, I will check his blog every so often, simply for sheer displeasure. I go on today, and lo and behold is he, doing the exact same joke I pulled!!! I am quite sure mine came first, as I factored in time differences. Therefore, I make this initial request. I wish everyone to remember that the first person to fool you concerning a Google hiring was I, and not ‘Scobleizer’. I am not concerned over whether someone did it before me, as long as it is well known that I did not rip off the scobleizer (is it just me or does anyone else think of the shermenator from American Pie when you hear scobleizer, and it just makes scoble that much more of a looser). [...]

  101. Hi John C. Welsh,

    Microsoft would make better use of their funds paying money to ship a Vista that doesn’t suck, and on time, rather than paying Scoble to write something that occupies space, and does nothing more.

  102. Hi John C. Welsh,

    Microsoft would make better use of their funds paying money to ship a Vista that doesn’t suck, and on time, rather than paying Scoble to write something that occupies space, and does nothing more.

  103. Hi Russell, you know, when you have my name *right there*, spelling it wrong is kind of silly.

    As well, what part of “Scoble has nothing to do with Vista” aren’t you getting? You appear to speak and read English fairly well, yet insist on acting as though every person at Microsoft works on Vista.

    Now, you can believe anything you like, however, your belief does not in fact, change reality. Scoble in a tutu, spit-roasting cheerleaders and eating a baby for breakfast wouldn’t affect Vista, so how is his blog going to do so?

    It won’t.

    Let’s recap…Scoble doesn’t work on Vista, and your belief otherwise doesn’t change that. You do not in fact, shape reality, and some time spent on that could help you with much in life.

  104. Hi Russell, you know, when you have my name *right there*, spelling it wrong is kind of silly.

    As well, what part of “Scoble has nothing to do with Vista” aren’t you getting? You appear to speak and read English fairly well, yet insist on acting as though every person at Microsoft works on Vista.

    Now, you can believe anything you like, however, your belief does not in fact, change reality. Scoble in a tutu, spit-roasting cheerleaders and eating a baby for breakfast wouldn’t affect Vista, so how is his blog going to do so?

    It won’t.

    Let’s recap…Scoble doesn’t work on Vista, and your belief otherwise doesn’t change that. You do not in fact, shape reality, and some time spent on that could help you with much in life.

  105. [...] Robert Scoble deja Microsoft y ficha por Google porque I wanted to be at the company that is the future of everything y Steve Outing deja el Poynter Institute para poner en marcha Enthusiastic Group que define como a network of citizen-media-driven websites about adventure and participatory sports and activities y lanza nuevo blog: steveouting.com. [...]

  106. April Fools Round-up

    In case you missed it… » Ask.com released a ground breaking search algorithm called RhymeRank “based upon the educational theory that people commit information to memory more effectively when it is phonetically consistent.” » Scoble joi…

  107. Well, I may not agree with you all the time, but this is a fantastic April Fools joke. You actually had about a dozen people at my company talking about what legal actions Microsoft might take.

  108. Well, I may not agree with you all the time, but this is a fantastic April Fools joke. You actually had about a dozen people at my company talking about what legal actions Microsoft might take.

  109. [...] Anche quest’anno, come ogni 1° d’aprile, la fantasia delle persone si è sbizzarrita attraverso le notizie più assurde. Leggendo qua e la attraverso la blogosfera, ho cercato di raccogliere alcune delle bufale più interessanti: – Ask.com introduce il Rhyme Ranking (fonte Mauro Lupi) – Google Romance – Google Rooms (fonte Google Blogoscoped) – MSN Search (fonte Mauro Lupi) – Yahoo: All Your Web 2.0 Are Belong To Us – Jeremy Zawodny passa a Google – Matt Cutts passa a Yahoo – Scoble passa a Google (fonte Mauro Lupi) [...]

  110. Nice one. I was about to say congrats but then I was like wait a minute. Scrolled back to the top to look at the date…

  111. [...] The anticipation for this year’s April Fool’s jokes ended in  dissappointment. The insipid spoofs included Scoble and Zawodny moving to Google? Please, guys get a life. Matt Cutts from Google moving to Yahoo? Borrrrrrriiiiiiinnnnnnngggg. The Register reporting China buys Google? Now, I can officially unsubscribe. More excitement or creativity? How about some useful applications or hacks that users requested? The pink Slashdot motiff and Blogoscope’s Google Room thing complete with Playboy at least drew a grin. [...]

  112. [...] As a spin-off of some April Fool’s blog posts (Robert Scoble, Steve Rubel, and Debbie Weil to name a few), Debbie made a prediction for 2006 (My prediction). Although I can’t totally discredit what she’s saying, that given the “power” of the blogosphere, posters and readers will have to be careful about the validity of information in blogs, I also can’t completely agree with it. The example she gives is obviously a good one, regarding Kryptonite bike locks and the blog post on Endgadget. But I have a couple different points to make about the post. [...]

  113. There are no cute women that work at Google, they come in cute and within 3 weeks they are fat, ugly, messy gnomes. Google does not allow any reflective surfaces inside so that they can see how messy their hair is. They never see the sun so they get all pale. Google puts food everywhere so you are forced to come there for breakfast until dinner so all you do is eat and eat to mask the stress until you turn into a blubber butt. Your eyes sink in from staring at LCD screens and you get dark circles under your eyes from looking at a single plane all day. You chew your hair and you get pimples… The women at Google are Gnomes…

  114. There are no cute women that work at Google, they come in cute and within 3 weeks they are fat, ugly, messy gnomes. Google does not allow any reflective surfaces inside so that they can see how messy their hair is. They never see the sun so they get all pale. Google puts food everywhere so you are forced to come there for breakfast until dinner so all you do is eat and eat to mask the stress until you turn into a blubber butt. Your eyes sink in from staring at LCD screens and you get dark circles under your eyes from looking at a single plane all day. You chew your hair and you get pimples… The women at Google are Gnomes…