From Billings, MT

by on May 10, 2006

This is one of those times when I'm not sure what to write. The size of my audience is causing me to wonder. Most of you are probably here to read about my insider thoughts about Microsoft or the tech industry, or because I find cool links to various tech industry things.

But, life is intruding here and it's my personal blog, not a PR vehicle, so gotta push those worries to the background and just write about what's going on in my life and let the chips fall where they may.

We saw my mom yesterday (all three of the Scoble kids arrived at the Billings airport at the same time, which was pretty weird considering we were flying from three separate cities).

When we first saw her, she opened her eyes, stared strongly at us, and had a tear in her eye. She vigorously squeezed our hands. That comforted all of us. A little.

Well, I won't bore you with the emotions I'm feeling. Or the decisions that are going to start coming at us (we're meeting with her doctors today).

I did want to thank everyone for the very kind notes. About 150 comments, all of which were very kind. Many phone calls. Many emails (including emails from people who work for our biggest competitors). This stuff really makes times like this a lot easier. I'm going to read them to my mom (finding what to say to her is really tough).

Needless to say that the next 48 hours probably won't see much blogging.

A little technology note (you know I couldn't resist) the machines that are keeping track of her vitals and helping her breathe are running Windows. Yet another demonstration of just how many machines Microsoft's software is running on.

  • Jay
    Glad things are going ok for you, Robert. Our best thoughts and prayers for you and your family.

    Slightly off subject (but since you mentioned it) do you know what program is keeping track of her vitals? Just curious.
  • Robert -- thanks for sharing this. I imagine it is a help to you to do so. If others don't like it they can always unsubscribe.

    Best wishes.
    Robert
  • Hey Robert - post away. A blog is as much of a personal form of therapy as it is a business tool.

    I typically keep separate blogs for each purpose but I understand the benefits of having it all on one.

    I hope everything works out.

    And I can sympathize with the way you still see the technology aspects even in darker personal moments. I think it's a trait many of us all share and one that likely irritates the hell out of our spouses.
  • Rod K
    Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
  • Robert,

    Not having spoken to either of my parents in 2.5 years because of pig-headedness, arrogance and petiness (on both sides) since the birth of my son, I find reading your recent posts very moving indeed.

    I wish your family the very best through this difficult time and hope that you all find peace and understanding.

    Best wishes

    Paul
  • My wife and I are wishing you and your family the strength to see this through. You're in our thoughts and prayers and we hope your Mother gets through this trouble as soon as possible. Let us know if there's anything you need.
  • Henry W.
    Robert: Good luck to you and your family during this trying time. You seem like a good guy and I really enjoy your blog. I am sorry to hear about your mom. Take care,
    Henry
  • Nice post. Tough times are ahead, but you'll get through them. Remember to take time to breathe once in a while. Reach out to other family members for support. Talk with people openly and nakedly about how you feel. Tell your mom that you love her. Thank her for everything. The rest of the words will come.
  • Wow, I'm so sorry to hear about your mother's condition Robert. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Hang in there my friend.
    -Don
  • I'm so glad to hear that you all were able to get out there to be with your mother. I doubt there is anything more important that they three Scoble brothers do right now than to be with each other and your mother.
    BTW I checked your blog today because I wanted to hear how *you* are doing. Thanks for letting us know. I think a lot of people are keeping you and your whole family in their thoughts and prayers these days.
  • As someone who lost his mother at 21, I'll never forget how it felt her last days at the hospital.
    Each case, is a separate case. And my prayers are with you and your brothers/sisters, I trust everything will turn out alright in the end.
    Independent of the situation, try to enjoy the most possible with your mother, let her know your feelings and let her confide hers.
    Because, no matter the outcome of this difficult situation, its these last moments that will truly last in your hearts.
    In holland we say "betterschap!". In portuguese we'd say "melhoras!".
    My thoughts are with your mother and her kids.

    Vitor
  • Hope it all works out for you and yours. My thoughts are with you at this time.
  • Hope all works out for the best, Robert. As Vitor said, don't leave anything important unsaid.
  • Robert, by all means...please use your blog to write about whatever is going on with your life. We don't read because we exclusively want to read about Microsoft or tech -- we read because you're an engaging writer with an obvious passion for what you do. You could write about mosquitos in Cambodia and I would still read, because it's not about the content -- it's about the delivery.

    My prayers are with you and your entire family right now.
  • Wishing you and your family peace. Please let me know if you need any assistance or resources while staying in Billings.
  • Robert,

    My prayers are with you. Like you said, your mom is your mom and it's very hard to see her with a life-threatening illness. People who read your blog (or any blog, for that matter) on a regular basis take a personal interest in the writer.

    Please let us know how she's doing when you get time.
  • Robert, thanks for sharing.
    Recently, as I've been working through some changes in my own life and health, I've been realizing how precious each day is.
    Thinking of you and praying for you and your family. Hugs to you all, from Bainbridge to Billings.
  • Dan
    "Well, I won't bore you with the emotions I'm feeling."

    Isn't blogging about personal connections and interactions between feeling people rather than sterile, emotionless monoliths?

    Emotions aren't boring; lack of emotion is.
  • Post about your Mom as much as you want. Think of it is therapy for you and know that we are here and keeping you in our prayers.
  • Dan: good point. There's a mix of emotions. Guilt. Sadness. Boredom. Helplessness. Hopelessness. All mixed together. Doesn't make it easy to write about them, that's for sure.

    One thing: being in hospitals is boring. Thank God for feeds!
  • Sorry to learn of this. Your mother is lucky to have you all by her side. Best wishes for everyone.
  • Hi Robert,
    This is the first time I'm posting a comment in your really nice blog. Good luck to you and your family during this difficult time.
    Regards from France
  • One interesting artifact of writing in a personal way is my dad called me after he read my blog and we didn't need to chat about what was going on.
  • All the best to you and your family.
  • JohnC
    Thanks for the update. I am glad you put your personal life out in blogland. I feel like I know U even though I don't really know U. Try to keep your sense of humor..it makes a huge difference. My wife and I are praying for your whole family!!
  • Adam Harris
    Our thoughts are with you
  • Christine O'Rorke
    Opened your blog today to find out how your mum was doing. Glad you are all able to be there with her. I've been through this wih my own mum so I know a little of what you are going through.
    Thoughts and many, many prayers are with you, your mum,and all of the family.
    God bless.
  • Sean DALY
    Wishing you well during this trying time. Spend time with your family, the blogosphere can wait for you :-)

    Sean DALY.
  • All the best Robert...
  • John
    My thoughts are with you and those around you.

    [I am ashamed to say that from the title I thought this post was about Al Billings, formerly of IE, and his disgraceful recent blog behavior].
  • Dan
    Those are all entirely understandable emotions. I'm glad to see that you've opened up a bit and that you're starting to process all of this. Godspeed.
  • Thanks Robert, for the timely reminder. I have been so swamped for the past few weeks, and this morning I dove in ready to keep up the ridiculous pace that has stolen family time from me. I hope this reminder will grab some others attention too. I posted it on GBM, just because I could:

    http://www.gottabemobile.com/RobertScobleRemind...

    I hope other site authors will do the same. All us tech geeks can use the reminder.

    Praying for you man.
  • Grant Hogarth
    Robert--
    *sigh* You are right -- it sucks. Big time. I can empathize with your emotions somewhat, as my mother died of cancer some years ago, and my dearest grandmother died in much the same way your mom did.

    I'm glad you got to say goodbye, even if you didn't One thing I have trouble with is saying that I (or anyone else) "lost" a loved one. It makes it seem liget to say all the things/ask all the questions you wanted to (and I suspect that some of them you won't realize you wanted to ask her until many years have passed -- at least that's been my experience.)

    I also wanted to thank you for being willing to open yourself up and share your feelings with all of us who read your posts. What's the Spider Robinson quote? "Shared joy is increased, shared pain is lessened."

    Hang in there -- you are stronger than you know, and
    we are here for you to lean on.

    Grant
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