Bawling over bowling

We were trying to be tough. I walked to the hotel from the hospital. What was in my hand? My SmartPhone. I was reading your comments. I read a few, probably 20 or 30, and started crying, so I called my son, and that didn't help much.

Met up with my brothers for dinner. That was OK. We told each other stories and argued about politics. Then we decided to go bowling. My brother Alex likes to bowl for some reason. Sounded better than going to the hotel room or to my mom's room.

It was fun enough, but then I started looking at my phone again and reading your comments and started crying. We met some great people who helped raise our spirts a bunch (you can see their photos here, I didn't get their names, but seeing them have a good time helped a lot).

Thanks so much everyone for the support. You have no idea how much it means to me just to know other people are out there thinking about this situation.

Makes me realize that everyone should have this kind of support when they go through tough situations. And, reading my comments, I realize that everyone will probably have to go through something similar sometime in their life.

When I was walking out the doctors apologized. You know, those people are really special. Dealing with the worst times of a family's life is not easy. To every doctor out there, my hat is off to you tonight. Thanks for being there and thanks for doing your best. It is appreciated.

One last thing before I go to sleep. I have the best coworkers in the world. I've been getting kind notes and phone calls all day. Those will never be forgotten.

Are we in a global village? Yes. Tonight I met some people who live in a small town in Montana. I feel like I live in a small villiage in the world. There's even a thread on Channel 9 about this.

OK, I'm crying again. Gotta go. I can't wait until Maryam gets here (she's flying in on Friday).

By the way, while I'm thinking of it, might as well write down my wishes. If I have a chance to look at a screen and comprehend what it says, keep me alive. Otherwise please don't perform heroic measures to keep me alive.

I'd rather be kept alive only if there's some chance of a decent quality of life.

How about you? What would you like your family to do? Why don't you write it down and tell them? Tonight.

Staring at my mom's respirator makes me realize that every breath is precious. What would you do differently if you had only 1,000 breaths to take?

Regarding my mom, I spent a lot of time with her and told her we're taking her home.

She squeezed my hand when I told her that. She doesn't comprehend much, but I really hope she can get home again to see her house. It's a stunningly beautiful house in Emigrant, MT. She had it custom built. I wish I could take you all there, it's on some of the most beautiful land that exists on this earth.

Go and hug your family. It sounds so stupid to say that usually, but then you go through something like this and you realize that that's about all you have.

Thanks also to my boss for calling and reminding me, once again, to get off of the computer. The thing is, the computer is a calming influence and keeps you up to date with everyone else. Just now an email message came in from her sister, who lives in Germany. I'm very glad I have my cell phones and my Verizon card. They are my lifelines at this point.

Anyway, I can't wait until I get back to talking about normal stuff like how Windows Vista is going, or what Office Live's feature set will be. Calling relatives and/or friends of my mom and telling them that bad news isn't fun.

That reminds me, make sure your family members know who to call in case of an emergency like this. My mom seemed healthy until she checked herself into a hospital. Even then she seemed like everything was OK.

It's time to have the talk with your family members. It's morbid, I know, but it is important. We don't get to choose how to exit this world, but we can prepare our loved ones for the choices they'll have to make.

OK, I'm crying again. Time to try to get some sleep. It's gonna be a long day tomorrow.

Thanks to everyone for putting up with this blogging. It's helpful to me and I get phone calls from people who are touched by it (and family members). If it bugs you, you might avoid my blog until next week.

In the meantime, we appreciate your kind thoughts. It does help us get through this a lot. I hope I can repay this debt someday. I hope everyone has this kind of support when they go through a tough situation like this.