Yesterday I spent much of the day holding my mom's hand. It's the one communication channel left with her.
At some point in the afternoon I started crying. She must have heard because she put her hand on my face and carressed it like all mothers do when their children are in pain.
She was trying to make me feel better. And she was communicating with me that it's all OK. That she's OK. That she isn't in pain, even as her body is laboring to make another breath. That it's time. That there is still a mom left inside her broken body that won't last her very much longer.
Well, I'm back offline to go visit my mom. We're taking her to Livingston (that's where she had her bookstore for the past few years). That'll let more people who care about her come and visit her (it's fun to hear about sides of my mom I didn't know about from the community who knew her).
Another decision I have to make today is whether or not to go to NY on Monday where I am scheduled to keynote the Syndicate conference. That's a tough one. My visceral reaction is not to go. Stay with mom. Attend to family affairs.
But, Mom's best friend, Alberta, is urging me to go. She said my mom bragged about me all the time and she says my mom, if she could speak, would be urging me to go. More motherly instinct. "Get on with your life," I remember her telling me when we had talked about stuff like this in the past. By the way, I hope I have a friend like Alberta when it's my time to go. She's been tireless and has been a great comfort to our family.
OK, it's time to get some joy back in this blog. Mothers' day is in a couple of days. Even a tough situation like being forced to say goodbye too soon has a lot of good sides too. And like one of my commenters' said, at least we're getting a chance to say goodbye. Many people don't have that chance.
What's your best memory of your mom?
PS, Maryam wrote her memories of my mom.
There will be many more conferences for you to attend in the future; there’s only one chance left to stay close to your mom.
Just my thought.
There will be many more conferences for you to attend in the future; there’s only one chance left to stay close to your mom.
Just my thought.
Dear Robert,
this is the toughest of times. But always remember this holding of hands with your mother, and the comfort it gives you and her.
Here are a few words by Stefan George, a German poet … in an English translation:
Come to the park they say is dead, and view
The shimmer of the smiling shores beyond,
The stainless clouds with unexpected blue
Diffuse a light on motley path and pond.
The tender grey, the burning yellow seize
Of birch and boxwood, mellow is the breeze.
Not wholly do the tardy roses wane,
So kiss and gather them and wreathe the chain.
The purple on the twists of wilding vine,
The last of asters you shall not forget,
And what of living verdure lingers yet,
Around the autumn vision lightly twine.
Dear Robert,
this is the toughest of times. But always remember this holding of hands with your mother, and the comfort it gives you and her.
Here are a few words by Stefan George, a German poet … in an English translation:
Come to the park they say is dead, and view
The shimmer of the smiling shores beyond,
The stainless clouds with unexpected blue
Diffuse a light on motley path and pond.
The tender grey, the burning yellow seize
Of birch and boxwood, mellow is the breeze.
Not wholly do the tardy roses wane,
So kiss and gather them and wreathe the chain.
The purple on the twists of wilding vine,
The last of asters you shall not forget,
And what of living verdure lingers yet,
Around the autumn vision lightly twine.
I chose to attend the conference based on the credibility that you bring to the topic HOWEVER I do not expect to see you there given your family events. All the posts before mine really do ring true so you probably should listen to the collective wisdom of the crowd and stay in MT.
All that said, your family and you are in my thoughts and prayers.
I chose to attend the conference based on the credibility that you bring to the topic HOWEVER I do not expect to see you there given your family events. All the posts before mine really do ring true so you probably should listen to the collective wisdom of the crowd and stay in MT.
All that said, your family and you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Thanks everyone. As usual you’re right. I’m staying the week in Montana.
What turned me? A young woman who called me. She told me her name, but since she’s a journalist for a Middle Eastern News Network, she doesn’t want to be public.
She told me how her father had sent her from Iraq to America. How she wasn’t able to talk to her father cause he didn’t have a phone. Nor be with him during his death. She desperately wanted to change places with me so she could say goodbye. She was crying as she said that she wishes her father could see that his dream for her having a better life was realized.
What a great global village we all live in. Thanks everyone, I appreciate it. More than you ever will know.
And, to Eric Norlin, I owe you one.
Thanks everyone. As usual you’re right. I’m staying the week in Montana.
What turned me? A young woman who called me. She told me her name, but since she’s a journalist for a Middle Eastern News Network, she doesn’t want to be public.
She told me how her father had sent her from Iraq to America. How she wasn’t able to talk to her father cause he didn’t have a phone. Nor be with him during his death. She desperately wanted to change places with me so she could say goodbye. She was crying as she said that she wishes her father could see that his dream for her having a better life was realized.
What a great global village we all live in. Thanks everyone, I appreciate it. More than you ever will know.
And, to Eric Norlin, I owe you one.
Thanks Robert, for giving the blogosphere
a HEART! I’m glad to know you won’t be attending the conference, although I had been looking forward to meeting you. You made the right decision NOT to go.There are more important things to do than miss a conference. Your most important being is to be holding and focusing on your MOTHER, the person who gave you LIFE!
Finally in closing you will not miss being the conference keynote. God has arranged
for your keynote to be made via your blog.
Your blog is more than a keynote it is a living testimony to the POWER of bloging, by allowing your many friends to share their love and wisdom with you, when you need it the most.No keynote speech can compare to what you have allowed us to share with you and each other. We are truly a family. Thanks for letting us see the spririt of each blogger in their post. We are more than words,because now we see the flesh and blood and the tears of the BLOGGING.
My prayers are with you and your FAMILY.
May God continue to strengthen you!
Thanks Robert, for giving the blogosphere
a HEART! I’m glad to know you won’t be attending the conference, although I had been looking forward to meeting you. You made the right decision NOT to go.There are more important things to do than miss a conference. Your most important being is to be holding and focusing on your MOTHER, the person who gave you LIFE!
Finally in closing you will not miss being the conference keynote. God has arranged
for your keynote to be made via your blog.
Your blog is more than a keynote it is a living testimony to the POWER of bloging, by allowing your many friends to share their love and wisdom with you, when you need it the most.No keynote speech can compare to what you have allowed us to share with you and each other. We are truly a family. Thanks for letting us see the spririt of each blogger in their post. We are more than words,because now we see the flesh and blood and the tears of the BLOGGING.
My prayers are with you and your FAMILY.
May God continue to strengthen you!
I’m, oh, about five years old or so, and it’s lunch time. Mom bought some new kind of bread, Orowheat. I still remember the shape: It looks like what you’d see if Moses’ two commandment tablets were connected together… three sides of a square, and two-rounded humps on top. Dark brown crust, and white bread inside.
Mom tells me that the bread makes a sound when you squeeze it. “Here, listen,” she says, holding the slice of bread near my ear. From the corner of my eye, I see her fingers slowly pinching the bread, and then I hear an ever-so-soft kssssssh!
The bread’s amazing! It *does* make a sound!!
I don’t remember what I exclaimed, or whether my jaw dropped or anything. I just know that this is amazing. Okay, I’ll bet my eyes grow wide in disbelief.
I probably say, “Do it again!” and she does. ksssssh!
She pinches it several times, each time I hear the ksssshhh.
Somewhere into this, I grow skeptical. Was it because I glanced at her mouth, and see that it’s shaped like kssssh? I don’t know, but unbelief takes over the disbelief.
I accuse her: “You’re making the sound!”
“No, it’s the bread,” she says. “Here, listen again.” kssssssh.
I watch her mouth, closely. My attention is no longer on the bread. Her lips move ever-so-slightly when she presses the bread. The ksssssh is coming from her.
My mother, subtle smartass. (and I wonder where I got it from!)
I’m, oh, about five years old or so, and it’s lunch time. Mom bought some new kind of bread, Orowheat. I still remember the shape: It looks like what you’d see if Moses’ two commandment tablets were connected together… three sides of a square, and two-rounded humps on top. Dark brown crust, and white bread inside.
Mom tells me that the bread makes a sound when you squeeze it. “Here, listen,” she says, holding the slice of bread near my ear. From the corner of my eye, I see her fingers slowly pinching the bread, and then I hear an ever-so-soft kssssssh!
The bread’s amazing! It *does* make a sound!!
I don’t remember what I exclaimed, or whether my jaw dropped or anything. I just know that this is amazing. Okay, I’ll bet my eyes grow wide in disbelief.
I probably say, “Do it again!” and she does. ksssssh!
She pinches it several times, each time I hear the ksssshhh.
Somewhere into this, I grow skeptical. Was it because I glanced at her mouth, and see that it’s shaped like kssssh? I don’t know, but unbelief takes over the disbelief.
I accuse her: “You’re making the sound!”
“No, it’s the bread,” she says. “Here, listen again.” kssssssh.
I watch her mouth, closely. My attention is no longer on the bread. Her lips move ever-so-slightly when she presses the bread. The ksssssh is coming from her.
My mother, subtle smartass. (and I wonder where I got it from!)
Robert,
I cannot tell you how much your comments touched me. Thank you for sharing your feelings. We need to remember how important we are to each other. I am keeping you and your family in my prayers.
Robert,
I cannot tell you how much your comments touched me. Thank you for sharing your feelings. We need to remember how important we are to each other. I am keeping you and your family in my prayers.
My Nonnie, who is even now battling as staff infection from her last chemo treatment, was always like a mother to me. Every summer I would go with her and Papaw for a month or two and have a grand time.
Once we were hiking and they warned me not to run down the hill. Well, run I did and ended up face-first on a dirt road. They thought I was dead, but I just got up and kept going.
I guess we all think that we can keep up and go, but at some point the end of the road comes. Nonnie isn’t there yet, she is still fighting on, but I know that it will come someday.
Glad you are taking the time to make it special for yourself and her.
My prayers are with you.
My Nonnie, who is even now battling as staff infection from her last chemo treatment, was always like a mother to me. Every summer I would go with her and Papaw for a month or two and have a grand time.
Once we were hiking and they warned me not to run down the hill. Well, run I did and ended up face-first on a dirt road. They thought I was dead, but I just got up and kept going.
I guess we all think that we can keep up and go, but at some point the end of the road comes. Nonnie isn’t there yet, she is still fighting on, but I know that it will come someday.
Glad you are taking the time to make it special for yourself and her.
My prayers are with you.
“Don’t be afraid of farewells, a good-bye is necessary before you can meet again, and meeting again after moments are lifetimes is certain for those who are in love.”
~Richard Bach in Illusion.
Good Luck!
“Don’t be afraid of farewells, a good-bye is necessary before you can meet again, and meeting again after moments are lifetimes is certain for those who are in love.”
~Richard Bach in Illusion.
Good Luck!
should have read:
“Don’t be afraid of farewells, a good-bye is necessary before you can meet again, and meeting again after moments or lifetimes is certain for those who are in love.”
should have read:
“Don’t be afraid of farewells, a good-bye is necessary before you can meet again, and meeting again after moments or lifetimes is certain for those who are in love.”
Robert, could you maybe let your mom witness one of your talks? Do the Syndicate keynote over LiveMeeting from her hospital room. Let her see what she’s so proud of.
Wishing you and mom the best…
Robert, could you maybe let your mom witness one of your talks? Do the Syndicate keynote over LiveMeeting from her hospital room. Let her see what she’s so proud of.
Wishing you and mom the best…
Hi Robert,
In times like these, don’t think of what you lose, remember all that you had, all that you gained, and treasure those memories. Pass them along to your children and keep your mom alive in their hearts. Celebrate the fact that she had a good life.
Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
Hi Robert,
In times like these, don’t think of what you lose, remember all that you had, all that you gained, and treasure those memories. Pass them along to your children and keep your mom alive in their hearts. Celebrate the fact that she had a good life.
Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
Glad to see you’ve made up your mind, it’s for the best.
Best wishes to your mum and you and the rest of the family.
Glad to see you’ve made up your mind, it’s for the best.
Best wishes to your mum and you and the rest of the family.
Mom went through 8 years battling cancer. So did the rest of the family from outside. It ended badly. I can’t think of how it could end well.
Mom introduced me to hockey when I was around 10. We’d sit in front of the TV together and watch every single NY Ranger game together all through my teens. We went to several games and practices together.
One other was when she was quite ill. I was home that day and taking a nap. She came to me an lay down beside me and asked me to hold her. She told me she was “so scared”. I’m glad I was home that day.
Whew. Gotta go find the tissues.
Ken
Mom went through 8 years battling cancer. So did the rest of the family from outside. It ended badly. I can’t think of how it could end well.
Mom introduced me to hockey when I was around 10. We’d sit in front of the TV together and watch every single NY Ranger game together all through my teens. We went to several games and practices together.
One other was when she was quite ill. I was home that day and taking a nap. She came to me an lay down beside me and asked me to hold her. She told me she was “so scared”. I’m glad I was home that day.
Whew. Gotta go find the tissues.
Ken
Robert, this is a touching subject and I had to cover it on live TV on Friday, talking about my Mum who passed 12 years ago. Far too soon. I know she would want you to go to New York. However, if I were you, I would stay by her side. I just think you need to be there, to know that you were there for as long as you could be.
¶ While I still feel connected to my Mum’s spirit, there are still days, after 12 years, where I feel I have lost an entire limb. I know people are consoling you but I have to be honest and say the feeling of loss does not disappear easily. These last days will be important to you.
Robert, this is a touching subject and I had to cover it on live TV on Friday, talking about my Mum who passed 12 years ago. Far too soon. I know she would want you to go to New York. However, if I were you, I would stay by her side. I just think you need to be there, to know that you were there for as long as you could be.
¶ While I still feel connected to my Mum’s spirit, there are still days, after 12 years, where I feel I have lost an entire limb. I know people are consoling you but I have to be honest and say the feeling of loss does not disappear easily. These last days will be important to you.
I do agree with Mr. James:
“Thank you Mr. Scoble for having the guts/courage/generosity to share all this with us. Alberta says your Mom is proud of you.
She’s got a huge reason to be!”
Hold her hand, talk to her; she will listen. Tell her that people from all over the world are thinking of her and her son.
Solidarity is such a nice trace of humanity.
jcl
I do agree with Mr. James:
“Thank you Mr. Scoble for having the guts/courage/generosity to share all this with us. Alberta says your Mom is proud of you.
She’s got a huge reason to be!”
Hold her hand, talk to her; she will listen. Tell her that people from all over the world are thinking of her and her son.
Solidarity is such a nice trace of humanity.
jcl
I really don’t know how you managed to maintain all these posts in the middle of a very challenging period in life. We all face our parent’s aging and eventually losing them and it is a very personal journey.
Someone already said it earlier regarding the decision to go to NYC: listen to your gut. Profesionally, this is not a hit at all.
You remain close in the prayers of others for comfort and peace.
I really don’t know how you managed to maintain all these posts in the middle of a very challenging period in life. We all face our parent’s aging and eventually losing them and it is a very personal journey.
Someone already said it earlier regarding the decision to go to NYC: listen to your gut. Profesionally, this is not a hit at all.
You remain close in the prayers of others for comfort and peace.
Wow, that’s so real. I myself am pregnant right now, am expecting a baby boy. I hope I would get to have such a close relationship with my son as you seem to have with your mother.
Wow, that’s so real. I myself am pregnant right now, am expecting a baby boy. I hope I would get to have such a close relationship with my son as you seem to have with your mother.
Robert:
Thank you for sharing your experience. I lost my Mom four years ago. She died in her sleep and everyone tells me that’s the best way to go. There is no best way – they all suck. I never had the chance to tell her goodbye, but then I didn’t have to see her waste away like many do. The bottom line is that it’s tough to lose anyone you love. Fortunately I told my Mom “I love you” at the end of a phone call two days before she died. They turned out to be the last words she ever heard me say.
To anyone reading this: tell the people you love that you love them. They need to hear it and you need to say it.
Robert:
Thank you for sharing your experience. I lost my Mom four years ago. She died in her sleep and everyone tells me that’s the best way to go. There is no best way – they all suck. I never had the chance to tell her goodbye, but then I didn’t have to see her waste away like many do. The bottom line is that it’s tough to lose anyone you love. Fortunately I told my Mom “I love you” at the end of a phone call two days before she died. They turned out to be the last words she ever heard me say.
To anyone reading this: tell the people you love that you love them. They need to hear it and you need to say it.
Hi Robert,
I was so looking forward to seeing you at Syndicate – but I share the sentiments of most of those responding to the personal decision you need to make. Obviously, you are the only one who can decide what is best for you and your mother. I can’t speak for IDC, but everyone I know attending the conference will certainly understand, and respect your absence. Our prayers are with you, Robert.
Peter Clayton
Hi Robert,
I was so looking forward to seeing you at Syndicate – but I share the sentiments of most of those responding to the personal decision you need to make. Obviously, you are the only one who can decide what is best for you and your mother. I can’t speak for IDC, but everyone I know attending the conference will certainly understand, and respect your absence. Our prayers are with you, Robert.
Peter Clayton
Moms have a tendency to put the interests of their kids ahead of their own
It doesn’t always mean it’s the right thing to do for either party. Whatever time you can spend with her is precious — the conferences will always be there to attend in the future.
Moms have a tendency to put the interests of their kids ahead of their own
It doesn’t always mean it’s the right thing to do for either party. Whatever time you can spend with her is precious — the conferences will always be there to attend in the future.
It’s so hard. I lost my Mom last year, right before Mother’s Day.
Heartfelt good wishes to you and your family.
It’s so hard. I lost my Mom last year, right before Mother’s Day.
Heartfelt good wishes to you and your family.
Scoble — sorry to read about your Mom. Good luck as you deal with this sad part of life; my thoughts are with you and your family.
Scoble — sorry to read about your Mom. Good luck as you deal with this sad part of life; my thoughts are with you and your family.
My fondest memory of my mom is her putting albums on the record player and we would dance and sing until we were out of breath and lost our voices.
My fondest memory of my mom is her putting albums on the record player and we would dance and sing until we were out of breath and lost our voices.
Robert,
From personal experience my opinion is you should not go to that conference. Any organization or person that would not support you in that decision is not worth supporting. Like another poster said, how many more times will you have to hold your mother’s hand? vs how many more conferences and speaking opportunities will you have? Do let what may have occured in the past affect any decision you make now. These memories will be with you the rest of your life. The confernece? In a year no one will care.
Robert,
From personal experience my opinion is you should not go to that conference. Any organization or person that would not support you in that decision is not worth supporting. Like another poster said, how many more times will you have to hold your mother’s hand? vs how many more conferences and speaking opportunities will you have? Do let what may have occured in the past affect any decision you make now. These memories will be with you the rest of your life. The confernece? In a year no one will care.