The questioning of career, life, family, love follows grief (taking a week off of blogging)

Two days ago Maryam told me that she always wanted a BMW (we've been planning a car purchase for a while cause her Toyota was starting to show its age).

So, last night, what did I do? I bought her one. A BMW 325i. By far the wackiest, and scariest, and most irrational purchase I've ever made. Why? Because my alimony is coming to an end this summer (4.5 years of paying more than $1,100 per month, and that's not including child support). But, this is not usual behavior for me. What brought it on? My mom's stroke and death reminded me that life is temporary. She reminded me that it's important to have fun while you're here. Even if you are a workahaolic. Smell the roses and all that.

I might regret such an impetuous purchase (particularly after we get the bill). It is expensive. And wild. But it is such a nice car. And Maryam deserves it. She stayed with me even when I'd blog late into the night. If I'm lucky, she'll let me drive it once in a while. And I am lucky. Heheh! Actually, I was totally shocked when the bank approved the purchase.

I am totally fortunate to be in that position. Something we often forget in the midst of wild wealth that we have here on the West Coast (over the weekend a Mercedes SLR rolled by, that's a car that costs $700,000 to buy, which is $660,000 more than the one I bought Maryam). This is an unreal world. Most of the world lives on $2 a day. I forget that a lot of times. But I just said the heck with it.

Tonight, though, I find I'm questioning everything about my life. Am I doing the right things? Treating people well enough? Doing enough to improve the world?

What do I want to do career wise? I've had some wild opportunities thrown at me recently. Should I consider them? For what reason? What's the value I add to the world? Can I do more? Are there things that I'd love to do more than taking a camcorder around Microsoft and representing Microsoft to developers? In five years, where do I want to be? Who do I want to be?

What kind of father should I be? I haven't been a good one, all truth be told. My son is hurtling into his teenage years. What kind of role model should I be? How could I get more involved in his life? He's coming to stay with us next month. What should we do together? Yeah, the Xbox is all primed, but it's time to do more than just play gadgets. Maybe take him camping.

How do I want to be a better husband? What is important to me in our home life?

Oh, my mom's sister? Three of her siblings died when they were 66 (including my mom). She's 65 and is really worried. What would you do if you knew you had a year to live? I answered myself "I'd buy Maryam a BMW and we'd drive around having fun." Which led to my impulsive behavior last night. Can someone remind me to keep me away from expensive toys during times of grief?

Tonight I talked with Vic Gundotra, the guy who hired me into Microsoft. He told me how times like this in life (when you lose someone important to you, or meet tragedy) bring into hyper focus what's important. I'm not so sure. I liked life four weeks ago when I thought I had it all figured out.

Now all I have is questions.

Anyway, I'm going to take a week off to ponder these questions, and more, get some exercise, and take care of my mom's affairs (she designated me as the one she wanted to take care of her estate).

I thought about continuing to blog, but really, there's times that one just needs to go sit quietly in the middle of Yellowstone or another park and pick the lint out of your bellybutton and ponder life's questions. This is one of those times.

Hey, got some answers? Give 'em up! Heheh. See ya back here on about June 4.

Comments

  1. Hi Robert, I don’t think you’re a bad Dad. But rather than pushing aside the XBox and getting out the camping gear – just talk. I think your son still thinks you’re cool (even if his friends do think you’re a porn star). Have fun and continue to involve him. And enjoy that car.

  2. Hi Robert, I don’t think you’re a bad Dad. But rather than pushing aside the XBox and getting out the camping gear – just talk. I think your son still thinks you’re cool (even if his friends do think you’re a porn star). Have fun and continue to involve him. And enjoy that car.

  3. Thanks for supporting the suffering German industry:-) BTW you don’t get a BMW 325 for only 40’000 bucks here in Germany.

    Next time buy a Mercedes, it preserves it’s value much longer…

  4. Thanks for supporting the suffering German industry:-) BTW you don’t get a BMW 325 for only 40’000 bucks here in Germany.

    Next time buy a Mercedes, it preserves it’s value much longer…

  5. Mr Scoble, you sent shivers down my spine. Not that I doubted any capacity for such feelings on your behalf, but because I seldom read such frank and heartfelt concerns being expressed these days. I don’t know if I could muster this much honesty myself, although at times I am no less afflicted by them.

    But never feel guilty over the talents you have and the perks they bring. Living in the lucky part of the world is not your fault. Not knowing what to do with that gift or abusing it would be the wrong.

    I seldom comment on your blog and especially refrained from it during the past few weeks. But you’re a good, clever and sensitive man Scoble. Any family would be happy to have just half the dad, husband, etc. that this must make you.

    I guess it’s late at night where you are; the dark and vulnerable hours. But take your time and find out how all this affects you and what you want to make out of it. I’m certain you will do the right thing.

    Take care. Best wishes from across the globe.

  6. Mr Scoble, you sent shivers down my spine. Not that I doubted any capacity for such feelings on your behalf, but because I seldom read such frank and heartfelt concerns being expressed these days. I don’t know if I could muster this much honesty myself, although at times I am no less afflicted by them.

    But never feel guilty over the talents you have and the perks they bring. Living in the lucky part of the world is not your fault. Not knowing what to do with that gift or abusing it would be the wrong.

    I seldom comment on your blog and especially refrained from it during the past few weeks. But you’re a good, clever and sensitive man Scoble. Any family would be happy to have just half the dad, husband, etc. that this must make you.

    I guess it’s late at night where you are; the dark and vulnerable hours. But take your time and find out how all this affects you and what you want to make out of it. I’m certain you will do the right thing.

    Take care. Best wishes from across the globe.

  7. Robert, stay encouraged. I appreciate your work at Microsoft alot! Your an excellent role player!

  8. Robert, stay encouraged. I appreciate your work at Microsoft alot! Your an excellent role player!

  9. Helping people is the real issue. Be happy is another important one. Best wishes especially in these days. Jean-Luc from Paris

  10. Helping people is the real issue. Be happy is another important one. Best wishes especially in these days. Jean-Luc from Paris

  11. Mate, Robert (dare I call you that, not having ever met you), you sure know how to leave nothing unsaid on your blog. Most people question these things internally, but asking the questions out loud produces a greater likelihood of their being answered, so props for that. Takes guts though, man, it takes guts. Well done.

    Above all, I hope your next week goes as uneventfully as possible.

  12. Mate, Robert (dare I call you that, not having ever met you), you sure know how to leave nothing unsaid on your blog. Most people question these things internally, but asking the questions out loud produces a greater likelihood of their being answered, so props for that. Takes guts though, man, it takes guts. Well done.

    Above all, I hope your next week goes as uneventfully as possible.

  13. Wow. I live in the UK and neither me or any of my friends have a new car. Actually thinking about it I think most stuff we buy is second hand (eBay)… you are lucky that you can show your love with lavish gifts.

    Maybe you need to get back to basics, grab some pasta, chopped toms and plenty of meat. Go wild on the cooker and down a couple of bottles of the cheapest red wine you can lay your hands on.

    Get your family and mates round, get them pissed and cook for them. And try to do it on a regular basis.

    Cheerey buy bye

    monk.e.boy

  14. Hi Robert
    I dont know u or Maryam and you dont know me. However, if been reading both yours and Maryams blog for a while and I have to tell you that you’re lucky to have her and she deserves everything you can give her beeing it materialistic or emotional. So you you bought something that from an economical perspective maybe wasn’t the best decision – who cares! In the long run its only money and I’m sure you will be fine. She surely deserves it.

    I gues my point is Maryam loves you and she just want you to be happy and healthy. So in my mind that is all you have to have on your mind when you decide what you want to do with your life.

    So many of us use way to much energy thinking about the from things when we make important life decisions. Stuff like “what will people think” or “will I make my mark in the world”. We do so many things for the wrong reasons. We are so worried about everybody else when what we should concern us self with is your selfes and our loved ones.

    When you makes your choices just fell in your stomach what makes you happy and forget about everything else. If you’re happy Maryam will be happy. The same goes for your son. It doesn’t matter what you do together with him – you just have to be happy about what you guys are doing. Trust me he can feel if you’re happy and if you’re happy he will be happy spending time with you no matter what you’re doing.

    So just follow what makes you happy and everything else will take care of it self.

    Anyway thats my opinion.

    Kasper, Denmark

  15. Wow. I live in the UK and neither me or any of my friends have a new car. Actually thinking about it I think most stuff we buy is second hand (eBay)… you are lucky that you can show your love with lavish gifts.

    Maybe you need to get back to basics, grab some pasta, chopped toms and plenty of meat. Go wild on the cooker and down a couple of bottles of the cheapest red wine you can lay your hands on.

    Get your family and mates round, get them pissed and cook for them. And try to do it on a regular basis.

    Cheerey buy bye

    monk.e.boy

  16. Hi Robert
    I dont know u or Maryam and you dont know me. However, if been reading both yours and Maryams blog for a while and I have to tell you that you’re lucky to have her and she deserves everything you can give her beeing it materialistic or emotional. So you you bought something that from an economical perspective maybe wasn’t the best decision – who cares! In the long run its only money and I’m sure you will be fine. She surely deserves it.

    I gues my point is Maryam loves you and she just want you to be happy and healthy. So in my mind that is all you have to have on your mind when you decide what you want to do with your life.

    So many of us use way to much energy thinking about the from things when we make important life decisions. Stuff like “what will people think” or “will I make my mark in the world”. We do so many things for the wrong reasons. We are so worried about everybody else when what we should concern us self with is your selfes and our loved ones.

    When you makes your choices just fell in your stomach what makes you happy and forget about everything else. If you’re happy Maryam will be happy. The same goes for your son. It doesn’t matter what you do together with him – you just have to be happy about what you guys are doing. Trust me he can feel if you’re happy and if you’re happy he will be happy spending time with you no matter what you’re doing.

    So just follow what makes you happy and everything else will take care of it self.

    Anyway thats my opinion.

    Kasper, Denmark

  17. as a european guy in his early twenties, with my teenage years still close by i’d recommend you NOT to go camping with your son. you should say no to things that you think he should not do, but you should ask him what he thinks about things you want to do. even if you will not listen to him. remember you can still out-argument him ;o)

    in my teenage years, i wanted a dad that respected me, by showing that he cared about what i was thinking (about decisions in the house, things i could do, or we as a family).

    but then again: for teenagers, nothing is good, so you will just have to go through it :o)

  18. as a european guy in his early twenties, with my teenage years still close by i’d recommend you NOT to go camping with your son. you should say no to things that you think he should not do, but you should ask him what he thinks about things you want to do. even if you will not listen to him. remember you can still out-argument him ;o)

    in my teenage years, i wanted a dad that respected me, by showing that he cared about what i was thinking (about decisions in the house, things i could do, or we as a family).

    but then again: for teenagers, nothing is good, so you will just have to go through it :o)

  19. Wow, great post. First, everyone has the same questions as you do, almost all the time. I actually fear becoming immobilized at times due to inaction and overthinking. This is because, as you know, life is short and there’s just not enough time to only work and there not be enough time to accomplish all of your goals.

    Part of life is having a nice car, though…so congrats on that purchase. And also congrats on the $1,100.00 a month of alimony coming back into your pockets. The devastation known as divorce can set anyone back, and some people never even recover.

    Anyways, I definitely see with posts like this why your blog is so popular, your thoughtfulness really shines through. Thanks, and keep up the great work.

  20. Wow, great post. First, everyone has the same questions as you do, almost all the time. I actually fear becoming immobilized at times due to inaction and overthinking. This is because, as you know, life is short and there’s just not enough time to only work and there not be enough time to accomplish all of your goals.

    Part of life is having a nice car, though…so congrats on that purchase. And also congrats on the $1,100.00 a month of alimony coming back into your pockets. The devastation known as divorce can set anyone back, and some people never even recover.

    Anyways, I definitely see with posts like this why your blog is so popular, your thoughtfulness really shines through. Thanks, and keep up the great work.

  21. Good for you, I think it was a fantastic purchase. There is certainly something to the cliche of “you only live once”.

    Why look back retrospectively and say what if when we are here now and able to enjoy it.

    Cheers,

  22. Good for you, I think it was a fantastic purchase. There is certainly something to the cliche of “you only live once”.

    Why look back retrospectively and say what if when we are here now and able to enjoy it.

    Cheers,

  23. Robert:

    Death of a loved one ranks right up there on the stress-o-meter with moving, marriage, divorce, changing jobs, and acquiring a mortgage. Take the time you need to get things sorted out, and don’t burden yourself with (perhaps hasty) lifestyle decisions.

    Grief is a process; it is divided into stages, and no two people go through the stages at the same rate or in the same fashion. Once again, take the time you need. We’ll be here when you get back.

    –Ken–

  24. Robert:

    Death of a loved one ranks right up there on the stress-o-meter with moving, marriage, divorce, changing jobs, and acquiring a mortgage. Take the time you need to get things sorted out, and don’t burden yourself with (perhaps hasty) lifestyle decisions.

    Grief is a process; it is divided into stages, and no two people go through the stages at the same rate or in the same fashion. Once again, take the time you need. We’ll be here when you get back.

    –Ken–

  25. You are so doing the right thing. At this precise point in your life a bit of “vroom vroom” distraction is just what you need. Take you new car, a nice road, a few good stopping places and go for it.

  26. You are so doing the right thing. At this precise point in your life a bit of “vroom vroom” distraction is just what you need. Take you new car, a nice road, a few good stopping places and go for it.

  27. Robert,

    Echoing Ken, this is surely a time to assess where you are in your own life. But blogging makes your internal process a public matter that others can/must react to. As a veteran of corporate culture with just a few years on you, I’d advise not talking about job offers openly.

    Take that trip to Yellowstone and let the little voice inside guide you. Then let us know the outcome. Take care.

    Brian

  28. Robert,

    Echoing Ken, this is surely a time to assess where you are in your own life. But blogging makes your internal process a public matter that others can/must react to. As a veteran of corporate culture with just a few years on you, I’d advise not talking about job offers openly.

    Take that trip to Yellowstone and let the little voice inside guide you. Then let us know the outcome. Take care.

    Brian

  29. In one of Lance Armstrong’s books, after he goes through an extreme schedule of chemotherapy, and has against all odds, survived the ordeal – he writes about the odd sense of guilt that you feel as a survivor. That part of you wants to suck the marrow out of every moment in life. However, part of you still wants to lounge on the couch, mow the lawn, and just be a person, without the pressure of making every moment count. He concluded that you simply can’t live every moment like it was the last. Very interesting concepts, and his books are well worth a read.

    With regards to the BMW. They always say that in times of extreme emotion, don’t make any big decisions.

    My personal view is that if I really want to feel I am experiencing my life – really living – That the answer is never in anything outside of myself or my family. Not a possession or a trip. One expression that I have really come to appreciate over the years – “wherever you go, there you are”

    Have fun!

  30. In one of Lance Armstrong’s books, after he goes through an extreme schedule of chemotherapy, and has against all odds, survived the ordeal – he writes about the odd sense of guilt that you feel as a survivor. That part of you wants to suck the marrow out of every moment in life. However, part of you still wants to lounge on the couch, mow the lawn, and just be a person, without the pressure of making every moment count. He concluded that you simply can’t live every moment like it was the last. Very interesting concepts, and his books are well worth a read.

    With regards to the BMW. They always say that in times of extreme emotion, don’t make any big decisions.

    My personal view is that if I really want to feel I am experiencing my life – really living – That the answer is never in anything outside of myself or my family. Not a possession or a trip. One expression that I have really come to appreciate over the years – “wherever you go, there you are”

    Have fun!

  31. I really can relate to what you are going through with life changes and sorting out what is important. Being a good dad (in my silly perspective) is the best focal lens to view the rest of your life. It puts a light on what is right for work, what is the bond between you and Maryam.

    When you are with you son, try to see the world through his eyes. Learn from his questions, desires, and quest. Help him build a passion or passions and that may help you see yours.

    I had the opportunity to work in a fellowship with a U.S. Senator who looked at ever decision she made, every vote she made, every bill she worked on through the lens of how this would impact her child. What would help her child’s future, ensure his future, and the children that would be grandchildren.

    I take this to heart, or try to. Let your son grow through you and your quest to understand and sort it out, he will need that skill as he goes through life. We need the skills to make decisions in our lives and we need lenses to make sense of these decisions. For you it may be your son, Maryam, happiness through work, or a combination of all of them. How do you see the world? How do you want the world to be? How do you want the world to be for your son?

    Our world goes to hell when we think of ourself, but our world becomes great when we think of our action as those that impact others whom we are connected to.

    I absolutely love the focus you put on your aunt and her year at 65. There is great good in that.

  32. I really can relate to what you are going through with life changes and sorting out what is important. Being a good dad (in my silly perspective) is the best focal lens to view the rest of your life. It puts a light on what is right for work, what is the bond between you and Maryam.

    When you are with you son, try to see the world through his eyes. Learn from his questions, desires, and quest. Help him build a passion or passions and that may help you see yours.

    I had the opportunity to work in a fellowship with a U.S. Senator who looked at ever decision she made, every vote she made, every bill she worked on through the lens of how this would impact her child. What would help her child’s future, ensure his future, and the children that would be grandchildren.

    I take this to heart, or try to. Let your son grow through you and your quest to understand and sort it out, he will need that skill as he goes through life. We need the skills to make decisions in our lives and we need lenses to make sense of these decisions. For you it may be your son, Maryam, happiness through work, or a combination of all of them. How do you see the world? How do you want the world to be? How do you want the world to be for your son?

    Our world goes to hell when we think of ourself, but our world becomes great when we think of our action as those that impact others whom we are connected to.

    I absolutely love the focus you put on your aunt and her year at 65. There is great good in that.

  33. Last November I finally decided to take a serious amount of time off work to try to recover from the ME that up until then I had only been managing (and not very well). Every now add then there has to be a life laundry on the mind, a reckoning of those balance sheets, a tidying out of the storecupboards of the soul. In many ways it doesn’t matter what conclusions you come to, what you throw and what you keep. All that really matters is to have the contemplation, because the only life that brings us pleasure is a mindful one, in which we feel ourselves deeply and honestly engaged.
    I began my blog in order to watch myself process emotions and experiences and it’s been an enlightening and enjoyable journey so far. I look forward to what you have to say when you return. It’ll be encouraging for us all.

  34. Last November I finally decided to take a serious amount of time off work to try to recover from the ME that up until then I had only been managing (and not very well). Every now add then there has to be a life laundry on the mind, a reckoning of those balance sheets, a tidying out of the storecupboards of the soul. In many ways it doesn’t matter what conclusions you come to, what you throw and what you keep. All that really matters is to have the contemplation, because the only life that brings us pleasure is a mindful one, in which we feel ourselves deeply and honestly engaged.
    I began my blog in order to watch myself process emotions and experiences and it’s been an enlightening and enjoyable journey so far. I look forward to what you have to say when you return. It’ll be encouraging for us all.

  35. No advice, questions are good, and you’re asking good questions. Enjoy your time off, and maybe take another week.

    I’ve been able to switch my schedule to 4x 10-hour days… which has allowed me to spend more time with my kids, and be more focused on work. Pretty cool thing. I’m happier here, my boss and my family are both happier with me.

    Not saying that something like that would necessarily work for everyone – I happen to have some flexibility to take advantage of… the point I’m going for is it pays to work creatively with your employer to come up with something positive.

  36. No advice, questions are good, and you’re asking good questions. Enjoy your time off, and maybe take another week.

    I’ve been able to switch my schedule to 4x 10-hour days… which has allowed me to spend more time with my kids, and be more focused on work. Pretty cool thing. I’m happier here, my boss and my family are both happier with me.

    Not saying that something like that would necessarily work for everyone – I happen to have some flexibility to take advantage of… the point I’m going for is it pays to work creatively with your employer to come up with something positive.

  37. Robert – my thoughts are with you, Maryam and your family during this sad, sad time. After a recent loss a friend told me something so simple, yet very wise. “Treat yourself well; do good, gentle things for yourself. Grieve the way you need to, not the way others think you should.”
    Buying Maryam a Beemer? You are right, life is short and she’s a wildly special lady that deserves good things. I’m sure you will both enjoy it.
    Safe travels

  38. Robert – my thoughts are with you, Maryam and your family during this sad, sad time. After a recent loss a friend told me something so simple, yet very wise. “Treat yourself well; do good, gentle things for yourself. Grieve the way you need to, not the way others think you should.”
    Buying Maryam a Beemer? You are right, life is short and she’s a wildly special lady that deserves good things. I’m sure you will both enjoy it.
    Safe travels

  39. Two Books:

    The Fountain Head by Ayn Rand
    Atlas Shrugged By Ayn Rand

    And once you’ve read them, and start to see the guiding philosophy behind them, go read some of her non-fiction to see how it can all come together in a completely non-contradictory way.

    At that moment, when you can actually KNOW the right course and even more importantly know WHY it is the right course, your self-doubt will go away so long as you live by the law of non-contradiction.

    It’s hard to have someone die that you’re very close to. But it is also a really good time to examine your philosophical system and expand your understanding of yourself and the universe.

    And BTW, there is absolutely nothing wrong with buying a really great car, of that’s what you want, and it will improve your life in some way. If it does that, then more power to you, and don’t feel guilty for a second.

  40. Two Books:

    The Fountain Head by Ayn Rand
    Atlas Shrugged By Ayn Rand

    And once you’ve read them, and start to see the guiding philosophy behind them, go read some of her non-fiction to see how it can all come together in a completely non-contradictory way.

    At that moment, when you can actually KNOW the right course and even more importantly know WHY it is the right course, your self-doubt will go away so long as you live by the law of non-contradiction.

    It’s hard to have someone die that you’re very close to. But it is also a really good time to examine your philosophical system and expand your understanding of yourself and the universe.

    And BTW, there is absolutely nothing wrong with buying a really great car, of that’s what you want, and it will improve your life in some way. If it does that, then more power to you, and don’t feel guilty for a second.

  41. Our most precious asset is time. Time is not money; time is not fungible. Objects and sentiments do not substitute for lost time. The clock ticks and moves on. Spending time with those we love, and passions we care about, is the best that we can give, and I believe, the most rewarding. Take care.

  42. Our most precious asset is time. Time is not money; time is not fungible. Objects and sentiments do not substitute for lost time. The clock ticks and moves on. Spending time with those we love, and passions we care about, is the best that we can give, and I believe, the most rewarding. Take care.

  43. I met Robert a couple of years ago while at the Microsoft campus. I’m here to tell everyone that he’s just as engaging and interesting in person as he is on his blog. I read his blog for more than just the Microsoft technical insights. Robert, I read your blog because I like you! Although we are not “friends” from the old school view, I look at you as a new school friend.

    In pondering the human condition, I’ve come to realize one truth. We live today. We don’t live in the past and we never, ever live in the future; so live today as tomorrow is never promised to come.

    I’m sending a prayer out to you and your family in your time of mourning. Robert, you make a difference everyday in this world. I appreciate the work you do and want to say thanks. Take care and God bless.

    Herschel

    PS: Take a video of you and Maryam riding in that nice car and post that!

  44. I met Robert a couple of years ago while at the Microsoft campus. I’m here to tell everyone that he’s just as engaging and interesting in person as he is on his blog. I read his blog for more than just the Microsoft technical insights. Robert, I read your blog because I like you! Although we are not “friends” from the old school view, I look at you as a new school friend.

    In pondering the human condition, I’ve come to realize one truth. We live today. We don’t live in the past and we never, ever live in the future; so live today as tomorrow is never promised to come.

    I’m sending a prayer out to you and your family in your time of mourning. Robert, you make a difference everyday in this world. I appreciate the work you do and want to say thanks. Take care and God bless.

    Herschel

    PS: Take a video of you and Maryam riding in that nice car and post that!

  45. Robert, I hope you don’t regret buying the car. Thinking about my own mortality just makes me want to get rid of my possessions — you can’t take them with you.

  46. Robert, I hope you don’t regret buying the car. Thinking about my own mortality just makes me want to get rid of my possessions — you can’t take them with you.

  47. Robert-

    My condolences on your loss. Its unfortunate that events such as this cause us to reflect upon ourselves and the paths we’ve chosen. I lost my dad last year and know most of what you are sensing and questioning. The questions are big and the answers are even larger. To be honest, the answers don’t come right away – but hopefully, when they do – you’ll either see that you’re already on that path or pretty close by.

    -Paul

  48. Robert-

    My condolences on your loss. Its unfortunate that events such as this cause us to reflect upon ourselves and the paths we’ve chosen. I lost my dad last year and know most of what you are sensing and questioning. The questions are big and the answers are even larger. To be honest, the answers don’t come right away – but hopefully, when they do – you’ll either see that you’re already on that path or pretty close by.

    -Paul

  49. Robert – the introspection and self-examination is healthy, and you’re better for it. I don’t have any words of wisdom for you, since we all must come to our own separate peace with the world and our places in it… I just wanted to wish you well and hope that you find the wisdom and direction and calm that you’re looking for.

  50. Robert – the introspection and self-examination is healthy, and you’re better for it. I don’t have any words of wisdom for you, since we all must come to our own separate peace with the world and our places in it… I just wanted to wish you well and hope that you find the wisdom and direction and calm that you’re looking for.

  51. Robert, we sat next to each other on a plane flying back to Redmond about a year ago. I was interviewing for a role at Corp; just left MSFT after 4.5 years in the field.
    You are right, life is temporary, therefore it is critical to enjoy the blessings around you (especially the people in your life), give back, and know what is next. There is eternal life in a better place! Will you have it? Do you know and do you know him (JC)?
    Gods blessings to you! I enjoy your blog and would love to have you sign your book one day!
    J. Stame

  52. Robert, we sat next to each other on a plane flying back to Redmond about a year ago. I was interviewing for a role at Corp; just left MSFT after 4.5 years in the field.
    You are right, life is temporary, therefore it is critical to enjoy the blessings around you (especially the people in your life), give back, and know what is next. There is eternal life in a better place! Will you have it? Do you know and do you know him (JC)?
    Gods blessings to you! I enjoy your blog and would love to have you sign your book one day!
    J. Stame

  53. Ever thought about taking a yoga class? The relationship you’ll have with yourself after mind, body and sould comes together is powerful. Yoga is the only thing that helped me survive through my career. Worth a shot and you have a week.

    MC

  54. Ever thought about taking a yoga class? The relationship you’ll have with yourself after mind, body and sould comes together is powerful. Yoga is the only thing that helped me survive through my career. Worth a shot and you have a week.

    MC

  55. Sounds like your mom is a great teacher, still. :-)

    And good idea to buy Maryam a new car, that investment will pay you back a million times over!

    Maybe I’ll drive up to Montana to hang with y’all next week.

  56. Sounds like your mom is a great teacher, still. :-)

    And good idea to buy Maryam a new car, that investment will pay you back a million times over!

    Maybe I’ll drive up to Montana to hang with y’all next week.

  57. Yellowstone is a great place for reflection. I usually go a couple times a year (being 2 hours away is nice).

    A week off sounds well deserved. Best of luck with everything.

  58. Yellowstone is a great place for reflection. I usually go a couple times a year (being 2 hours away is nice).

    A week off sounds well deserved. Best of luck with everything.

  59. Brian: good advice. I made a decision to live my life in the public square and that decision has always brought back rewards that money simply can’t buy. Look at the comments on this thread.

    Sometimes it’s really hard to know what to put here and what not to put here. When I figure that out, I’ll probably write that too! :-)

    As to material things, yeah, you can’t take them with you. And, for the past two weeks my mom didn’t care about experiences or material things or how hard she worked in her store (although, it’s interesting, she had a lot of friends and customers come by and visit her who DID care that she put the time in with them).

    All this stuff is a good lesson to learn, it refocuses on what’s really important.

    Yeah, Dave, she continues to teach me a lot. Looking forward to seeing you in Montana!

  60. Brian: good advice. I made a decision to live my life in the public square and that decision has always brought back rewards that money simply can’t buy. Look at the comments on this thread.

    Sometimes it’s really hard to know what to put here and what not to put here. When I figure that out, I’ll probably write that too! :-)

    As to material things, yeah, you can’t take them with you. And, for the past two weeks my mom didn’t care about experiences or material things or how hard she worked in her store (although, it’s interesting, she had a lot of friends and customers come by and visit her who DID care that she put the time in with them).

    All this stuff is a good lesson to learn, it refocuses on what’s really important.

    Yeah, Dave, she continues to teach me a lot. Looking forward to seeing you in Montana!

  61. Mr. Scoble. I just want to let you know that you and your family are in my prayers. Takingg time off sounds like a good idea. I can’t imagine the pain of all of this, but I hope this week gives you some peace.

  62. Mr. Scoble. I just want to let you know that you and your family are in my prayers. Takingg time off sounds like a good idea. I can’t imagine the pain of all of this, but I hope this week gives you some peace.

  63. Robert,

    I’ve received a lot of criticism from people about the non-technical things on my blog (parenting, love, etc), so it encourages me to see you doing the same thing.

    WRT raising teenagers, it’s been accurately compared to nailing jello to a tree. Regardless of how well you do it, it’s messy, and you have no idea if you’re successful or not. My oldest is about to graduate, and the younger brother is finishing his Freshman year. I feel just as clueless sometimes, and just as much as you, I doubt my ability as a dad.

    There are any number of books that I (or others) can recommend, but the reality is that as long as you’re searching, you’ll find what you’re looking for. Pity the fathers who don’t care enough to take the step back that you’ve taken now.

    Be safe,

    Tim

  64. Robert,

    I’ve received a lot of criticism from people about the non-technical things on my blog (parenting, love, etc), so it encourages me to see you doing the same thing.

    WRT raising teenagers, it’s been accurately compared to nailing jello to a tree. Regardless of how well you do it, it’s messy, and you have no idea if you’re successful or not. My oldest is about to graduate, and the younger brother is finishing his Freshman year. I feel just as clueless sometimes, and just as much as you, I doubt my ability as a dad.

    There are any number of books that I (or others) can recommend, but the reality is that as long as you’re searching, you’ll find what you’re looking for. Pity the fathers who don’t care enough to take the step back that you’ve taken now.

    Be safe,

    Tim

  65. All the best to you and your family Robert. No answers here, but if YOU figure anything out, please let us know here. But I think life is like that. Just when you think you have figured it out, comes another curve ball.

  66. All the best to you and your family Robert. No answers here, but if YOU figure anything out, please let us know here. But I think life is like that. Just when you think you have figured it out, comes another curve ball.

  67. Good luck. There’s nothing more important than figuring out what’s important to you, and doing it.

    -k-

  68. Good luck. There’s nothing more important than figuring out what’s important to you, and doing it.

    -k-

  69. Robert,

    the questions are good. Take the time to let the questions roll around in your head and your heart, and don’t be in a hurry to get to answers. Emotions and thoughts will appear and disappear over the next few months… examine them, think about them, and give yourself some time for this to become a part of who you are.

  70. Robert,

    the questions are good. Take the time to let the questions roll around in your head and your heart, and don’t be in a hurry to get to answers. Emotions and thoughts will appear and disappear over the next few months… examine them, think about them, and give yourself some time for this to become a part of who you are.

  71. Rather than camping, which I suspect most kids would view as a bit lame (no offence!), offer to take your son snowboarding. (NB: *not* skiing. No cool teenager wants to be seen skiing.) Even better if neither of you can do it already – it’ll give you an experience to share as you learn together. And yes, that does mean you’ll have to do it too. :) You’re in a great part of the world for it, so make the most of it.

    Hope you have a great time whatever you get up to.

  72. Rather than camping, which I suspect most kids would view as a bit lame (no offence!), offer to take your son snowboarding. (NB: *not* skiing. No cool teenager wants to be seen skiing.) Even better if neither of you can do it already – it’ll give you an experience to share as you learn together. And yes, that does mean you’ll have to do it too. :) You’re in a great part of the world for it, so make the most of it.

    Hope you have a great time whatever you get up to.

  73. Mal, thanks. Patrick doesn’t like snow sports, unfortunately. I’m hoping some peer pressure gets him to go skiing sometime. But, in July it’s a bit hard to go snowboarding or skiing anyway.

    He loves Xbox, though, and so do all the kids in the neighborhood, so I’m sure we’ll have some fun times.

  74. Mal, thanks. Patrick doesn’t like snow sports, unfortunately. I’m hoping some peer pressure gets him to go skiing sometime. But, in July it’s a bit hard to go snowboarding or skiing anyway.

    He loves Xbox, though, and so do all the kids in the neighborhood, so I’m sure we’ll have some fun times.

  75. Robert, your thoughts reminded me of one of my favorite passages that might be encouraging as you reflect upon life:

    LORD, make me to know my end,
    And what is the measure of my days,
    That I may know how frail I am.
    Indeed, You have made my days as handbreadths,
    And my age is as nothing before You;
    Certainly every man at his best state is but vapor.
    Surely every man walks about like a shadow;
    Surely they busy themselves in vain;
    He heaps up riches,
    And does not know who will gather them.

    Ps 39:4-6

  76. Robert, your thoughts reminded me of one of my favorite passages that might be encouraging as you reflect upon life:

    LORD, make me to know my end,
    And what is the measure of my days,
    That I may know how frail I am.
    Indeed, You have made my days as handbreadths,
    And my age is as nothing before You;
    Certainly every man at his best state is but vapor.
    Surely every man walks about like a shadow;
    Surely they busy themselves in vain;
    He heaps up riches,
    And does not know who will gather them.

    Ps 39:4-6

  77. Robert, your thoughts reminded me of one of my favorite passages that might be encouraging as you reflect upon life:

    LORD, make me to know my end, And what is the measure of my days, That I may know how frail I am. Indeed, You have made my days as handbreadths, And my age is as nothing before You; Certainly every man at his best state is but vapor. Surely every man walks about like a shadow; Surely they busy themselves in vain;
    He heaps up riches, And does not know who will gather them. (Ps 39:4-6)

  78. Robert, your thoughts reminded me of one of my favorite passages that might be encouraging as you reflect upon life:

    LORD, make me to know my end, And what is the measure of my days, That I may know how frail I am. Indeed, You have made my days as handbreadths, And my age is as nothing before You; Certainly every man at his best state is but vapor. Surely every man walks about like a shadow; Surely they busy themselves in vain;
    He heaps up riches, And does not know who will gather them. (Ps 39:4-6)

  79. Bob:

    “Life is difficult”, I think that is one Scott Pecks great truths and the opening line in his book, The Way of the Peaceful Warrior. He also said, “Problems do not go away. They must be worked through or else they remain, forever a barrier to the growth and development of the spirit.”

    You are going through one of those great times, great opportunities in life for reinvention of yourself. I see this journey as having started for you awhile ago. Sometimes just when you think you have things figured out, circumstances arise that show you that no, maybe you don’t. Like when Candy and I had filed for divorce and a week later she died in a car accident.

    I am proud of you for taking up the challenge. I urge you to not seek answers too soon. Sometimes the best time is spent defining the question(s) and listening, just listening.

    Enjoy life, the new car and the time off. Much love to you, Maryam and Patrick.

    ~Steve and Sue Sloan

  80. Bob:

    “Life is difficult”, I think that is one Scott Pecks great truths and the opening line in his book, The Way of the Peaceful Warrior. He also said, “Problems do not go away. They must be worked through or else they remain, forever a barrier to the growth and development of the spirit.”

    You are going through one of those great times, great opportunities in life for reinvention of yourself. I see this journey as having started for you awhile ago. Sometimes just when you think you have things figured out, circumstances arise that show you that no, maybe you don’t. Like when Candy and I had filed for divorce and a week later she died in a car accident.

    I am proud of you for taking up the challenge. I urge you to not seek answers too soon. Sometimes the best time is spent defining the question(s) and listening, just listening.

    Enjoy life, the new car and the time off. Much love to you, Maryam and Patrick.

    ~Steve and Sue Sloan

  81. A Scoble Post that Resonates……

    Robert Scoble, Microsoft blogger and A-lister by any definition of the word, blogs a lot and certainly doesn’t need my link love since he probably gets more traffic in an hour than I do in a week. But, like many…

  82. “Actually, I was totally shocked when the bank approved the purchase.”

    You’re stressing a $40,000 loan? Are they paying people in peanuts over at Microsoft?

  83. “Actually, I was totally shocked when the bank approved the purchase.”

    You’re stressing a $40,000 loan? Are they paying people in peanuts over at Microsoft?

  84. FYI – Bob has been paying through the nose for alimony to his ex-wife and child support. He is a good guy who bends over backwards to do the right thing.

  85. FYI – Bob has been paying through the nose for alimony to his ex-wife and child support. He is a good guy who bends over backwards to do the right thing.

  86. I think you’re probably going to get burned by this girl at some point down the road.

    Hopefully you’ll realize that women are evil when that happens.

  87. I think you’re probably going to get burned by this girl at some point down the road.

    Hopefully you’ll realize that women are evil when that happens.

  88. Will, I make less than $100,000 a year. Yeah, I don’t expect to have banks just hand me $40,000. This is the first time in my life that I’ve been so fortunate.

  89. Will, I make less than $100,000 a year. Yeah, I don’t expect to have banks just hand me $40,000. This is the first time in my life that I’ve been so fortunate.

  90. Good for you for getting the car. Trite, but true, life is too short to deny simple things that bring so much pleasure. Enjoy your time with your son. In the end, it is the time you spend that matters, not so much what you do. Maybe there is something he has always wanted to do or try that you can learn about together (and no I do not mean something else in Second Life :-) !

  91. Good for you for getting the car. Trite, but true, life is too short to deny simple things that bring so much pleasure. Enjoy your time with your son. In the end, it is the time you spend that matters, not so much what you do. Maybe there is something he has always wanted to do or try that you can learn about together (and no I do not mean something else in Second Life :-) !

  92. Hey Robert…
    That you’re asking these questions now, rather than later in life, shows you’re on the right track. Figuring out what will make you happy (and, necessarily, insure the happiness of the people you care for) is a task best done when you have the opportunities and options and time. I’ve been in software since high school days in the mid-70s and I’m speaking as someone that’s waited way too long to start looking for the answers for those very same questions. The time you spend with your son is precious to you both — don’t spend too much of it in front of the Xbox (though I’ve done that exact same thing; watching him play GTR). What was most rewardinng to me was to do something, anything, where he would be challenged, so I could see him overcome those challenges.

  93. Hey Robert…
    That you’re asking these questions now, rather than later in life, shows you’re on the right track. Figuring out what will make you happy (and, necessarily, insure the happiness of the people you care for) is a task best done when you have the opportunities and options and time. I’ve been in software since high school days in the mid-70s and I’m speaking as someone that’s waited way too long to start looking for the answers for those very same questions. The time you spend with your son is precious to you both — don’t spend too much of it in front of the Xbox (though I’ve done that exact same thing; watching him play GTR). What was most rewardinng to me was to do something, anything, where he would be challenged, so I could see him overcome those challenges.

  94. I have no teens, both my parents are still with me and my daughters are still in diapers but I believe the bible text from the Psalm is incredibly appropriate. Here’s another:

    Yeah though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, thy rod and they staff they comfort me.

    Be comforted Scoble, the depth of dark is not eternal.

  95. I have no teens, both my parents are still with me and my daughters are still in diapers but I believe the bible text from the Psalm is incredibly appropriate. Here’s another:

    Yeah though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, thy rod and they staff they comfort me.

    Be comforted Scoble, the depth of dark is not eternal.

  96. Gosh, your post brought up some stuff that we’ve been wrestling with lately. Husband works LONG hours and wants to be with his family more, and now we have an opportunity to do that this summer. It’s scary yet exhilarating at the same time to not be working for “the man” anymore, yet when I look at the baby faces of our kids and realize that those baby faces will not be there much longer, I know that we’re making the right decision. You’ll never regret something that you do out of love for someone else.

  97. Gosh, your post brought up some stuff that we’ve been wrestling with lately. Husband works LONG hours and wants to be with his family more, and now we have an opportunity to do that this summer. It’s scary yet exhilarating at the same time to not be working for “the man” anymore, yet when I look at the baby faces of our kids and realize that those baby faces will not be there much longer, I know that we’re making the right decision. You’ll never regret something that you do out of love for someone else.

  98. I am sorry to hear about your loss Robert. Perhaps one of the things we need to remember is that loving what you do, loving who you are, accepting what you can and can’t do.. all of these are really A-OK.

    It is when we can’t accept ourselves that life must teach us this lesson.. sometimes over and over and over again.

    Anne

  99. I am sorry to hear about your loss Robert. Perhaps one of the things we need to remember is that loving what you do, loving who you are, accepting what you can and can’t do.. all of these are really A-OK.

    It is when we can’t accept ourselves that life must teach us this lesson.. sometimes over and over and over again.

    Anne

  100. [...] What Robert has written about his recent experiences makes it difficult to hold onto that view. Even his posts about Microsoft seem more frank now. You’re the real deal, Robert. I hope you find the answers you’re looking for, or at least get more comfortable with the questions. Share and Enjoy:These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web pages. [...]

  101. [...] Anyone who’s been reading Scoble lately knows he’s been through a lot lately. I have to say, I certainly don’t always agree with his opinions or his style but I’m impressed by how open he’s been about it all on his blog. I’m a pretty private person and can’t imagine sharing that much detail about my life in such a public forum. At the same time it is interesting to read people’s comments to him and see how much of a support the blogging community can be. This post particularly caught my attention. I think at times we all ask many of the questions he’s asking now. It is nice to see something that puts the crazy day to day life in perspective and remind us all that there are more important things than the little stuff we spend most of our time worrying about. To Robert, hang in there! [...]

  102. Robert, my condolences on your grave loss. As far as finding answers to the questions you have, my experience has showed that seeking these answers just results in more questions. Carpe Diem, though cliched and over-quoted, is the best thing you can do to get you through this time of grief and introspection. I do wish you luck in finding answers though; if you find answers, I’ll be buoyed by the hope that one day, I’ll be as fortunate.

  103. Robert, my condolences on your grave loss. As far as finding answers to the questions you have, my experience has showed that seeking these answers just results in more questions. Carpe Diem, though cliched and over-quoted, is the best thing you can do to get you through this time of grief and introspection. I do wish you luck in finding answers though; if you find answers, I’ll be buoyed by the hope that one day, I’ll be as fortunate.

  104. As for raising kids, I’m reminded of a line from “Parenthood” given by Keanu Reeves’ character Tod:

    “You know, Mrs. Buckman, you need a license to buy a dog, to drive a car – hell, you even need a license to catch a fish. But they’ll let any butt-reaming asshole be a father.”

    Not saying all us father’s fit that description, but the paradox is baffling. Kids don’t come with an owner’s manual. We all make it up as we go along, hopefully keeping the good examples our parents taught us and just doing what we think is right.

  105. As for raising kids, I’m reminded of a line from “Parenthood” given by Keanu Reeves’ character Tod:

    “You know, Mrs. Buckman, you need a license to buy a dog, to drive a car – hell, you even need a license to catch a fish. But they’ll let any butt-reaming asshole be a father.”

    Not saying all us father’s fit that description, but the paradox is baffling. Kids don’t come with an owner’s manual. We all make it up as we go along, hopefully keeping the good examples our parents taught us and just doing what we think is right.

  106. Robert – It is 11:47pm here. On my left, I have a copy of your book, half way done with it. On my right, I have your blog. I don’t think you need to fret about what life is and what you SHOULD be doing. You, as you are, have brought together a huge number of people, affected their lives in a positive way, and have me – a complete stranger, wishing you well.
    Good night.

  107. Robert – It is 11:47pm here. On my left, I have a copy of your book, half way done with it. On my right, I have your blog. I don’t think you need to fret about what life is and what you SHOULD be doing. You, as you are, have brought together a huge number of people, affected their lives in a positive way, and have me – a complete stranger, wishing you well.
    Good night.

  108. Robert:

    I solved the $40,000 BMW problem by purchasing a classic old M series… less than 20K and twice the fun.

    Anyway, death of parents takes a long time to get over – even if you are not close. It comes back at you in strange ways – even years later.

    Take care of yourself – we love what you write and are selfish about wanting to see it !

    Take care,

  109. Robert:

    I solved the $40,000 BMW problem by purchasing a classic old M series… less than 20K and twice the fun.

    Anyway, death of parents takes a long time to get over – even if you are not close. It comes back at you in strange ways – even years later.

    Take care of yourself – we love what you write and are selfish about wanting to see it !

    Take care,

  110. Robert;
    Great post and great comments (mostly). When you get back I want to here about your experience with the car dealer! Having bought 30 some cars over the years I know there is always a fun story involved.
    Enjoy your time off and once again, thanks for sharing. Great to read someone who can make you refect a bit!
    Mikey, you need to pick yourself up, dust it off and get back to life. BIG theme in these latest posts, (and rightly so), LIFE IS SHORT. Get past the bitterness, NOBODY is worth that!

  111. Robert;
    Great post and great comments (mostly). When you get back I want to here about your experience with the car dealer! Having bought 30 some cars over the years I know there is always a fun story involved.
    Enjoy your time off and once again, thanks for sharing. Great to read someone who can make you refect a bit!
    Mikey, you need to pick yourself up, dust it off and get back to life. BIG theme in these latest posts, (and rightly so), LIFE IS SHORT. Get past the bitterness, NOBODY is worth that!

  112. Another parent of a teenager? I read some of the comments, being interested after having read your post.
    I’d love to hear some feed back from others here in this world of thoughts and matched phrases. From my desk I have a view of the back yard and a tarp covered antique car. I can’t even remember the kind it is,,,not being mine. And the apartment complex and all their dog walking tenants through the alley. That’s if I wear my glasses. Yesterday I browsed about fifty or so blogs. Some worth going back to. I count this as one more. Thank you.

  113. Another parent of a teenager? I read some of the comments, being interested after having read your post.
    I’d love to hear some feed back from others here in this world of thoughts and matched phrases. From my desk I have a view of the back yard and a tarp covered antique car. I can’t even remember the kind it is,,,not being mine. And the apartment complex and all their dog walking tenants through the alley. That’s if I wear my glasses. Yesterday I browsed about fifty or so blogs. Some worth going back to. I count this as one more. Thank you.

  114. Oh…and being about 24 hours later than the others…and new to this …I hope I’ll be forgiven for adding a second note. An untitled ditty I wrote a few weeks back for someone that was rather sad on Mother’s day.

    In every cloud a wisp of hair from mothers float
    In ever blade of grass and drop of rain
    I see the eyes of love smiling once again
    In every storm that passes
    In every star at night
    In every leaf that trembles
    As a bird takes flight.
    In every smiling child
    whose eyes see what we should
    I can see my mother telling me
    It’s all good.

    Lint, nature…all good.

  115. Oh…and being about 24 hours later than the others…and new to this …I hope I’ll be forgiven for adding a second note. An untitled ditty I wrote a few weeks back for someone that was rather sad on Mother’s day.

    In every cloud a wisp of hair from mothers float
    In ever blade of grass and drop of rain
    I see the eyes of love smiling once again
    In every storm that passes
    In every star at night
    In every leaf that trembles
    As a bird takes flight.
    In every smiling child
    whose eyes see what we should
    I can see my mother telling me
    It’s all good.

    Lint, nature…all good.

  116. Great questions to ask. I’ve found that we only begin to find true happiness when we have the courage to ask these questions of ourselves. Next time you see those young Mormon missionaries riding by on their bikes, you should get their perspective and thoughts on this. I’m not saying you should subscribe to their beliefs, but their it is worth hearing. Besides, then you get more stuff to blog about. ;-)

  117. Great questions to ask. I’ve found that we only begin to find true happiness when we have the courage to ask these questions of ourselves. Next time you see those young Mormon missionaries riding by on their bikes, you should get their perspective and thoughts on this. I’m not saying you should subscribe to their beliefs, but their it is worth hearing. Besides, then you get more stuff to blog about. ;-)

  118. Good for you Robert. You know this kind of realization makes your heart lighter and life way simpler. It is all about attitude.

  119. Good for you Robert. You know this kind of realization makes your heart lighter and life way simpler. It is all about attitude.

  120. As for the parenting thing, I would say it takes sucking things up. I was never close to my dad. To be fair, I made it a little difficult by not being interested in the things he is interested in, but you know, even if I hate baseball, if he dragged me out to a game once in a while, I would appreciate it. A meal together or something.

  121. As for the parenting thing, I would say it takes sucking things up. I was never close to my dad. To be fair, I made it a little difficult by not being interested in the things he is interested in, but you know, even if I hate baseball, if he dragged me out to a game once in a while, I would appreciate it. A meal together or something.

  122. Hey guy,
    Isn’t it shocking when you lose your parent(s) that it just hits you… you’re all grown up? No one to go to for trust worthy advice, no one to hear you complain and actually care that you are hurting or have the history behind all those thoughts and feelings. I hear you. Just this week was my mom’s 3yr anniversary of her death, and my dad 7 months before that. Three years! That totally freaks me out. It can’t be true! But it is, and life keeps going by, and our kids get older and more invested in life itself. I have to be honest though. I couldn’t have gotten through all this stuff without having faith in Christ. It was too much to bare. Too much to let go. Too much to miss. I am so thankful when I see them in my dreams. Its so very cool to see them talking, touch them, smell them. Oh so real. What a gift when you wake and smile for it. I am so sorry for your loss. But pray you have that faith and belief that you will see your mom again in heaven one day. It is real comfort and gives hope and strength to go on. I hope too that you are sharing whats most important with your son, and you know that now to be memories that you shared with your parent. On earth, that’s whats left. In heaven, there is so much more we can’t know, but can believe. God bless, and sleep with a smile.
    j

  123. Hey guy,
    Isn’t it shocking when you lose your parent(s) that it just hits you… you’re all grown up? No one to go to for trust worthy advice, no one to hear you complain and actually care that you are hurting or have the history behind all those thoughts and feelings. I hear you. Just this week was my mom’s 3yr anniversary of her death, and my dad 7 months before that. Three years! That totally freaks me out. It can’t be true! But it is, and life keeps going by, and our kids get older and more invested in life itself. I have to be honest though. I couldn’t have gotten through all this stuff without having faith in Christ. It was too much to bare. Too much to let go. Too much to miss. I am so thankful when I see them in my dreams. Its so very cool to see them talking, touch them, smell them. Oh so real. What a gift when you wake and smile for it. I am so sorry for your loss. But pray you have that faith and belief that you will see your mom again in heaven one day. It is real comfort and gives hope and strength to go on. I hope too that you are sharing whats most important with your son, and you know that now to be memories that you shared with your parent. On earth, that’s whats left. In heaven, there is so much more we can’t know, but can believe. God bless, and sleep with a smile.
    j

  124. I bought a brand new Corvette convertible on a whim a few years ago, and although it was incredibly expensive, and most of my friends thought I was crazy and chalked it up to a “mid-life crisis” thing, the best part of an experience like this can be summed up this way:

    Cost of the base MSRP of a BMW 325i Sedan = $30,900
    Cost of the BMW 325i loaded with options = $38,195
    Cost of the look on your ex’s face = price-less

    Enjoy it! And, don’t look back (although you might want to look in the review mirror once in a while…)!

    Brian M

  125. I bought a brand new Corvette convertible on a whim a few years ago, and although it was incredibly expensive, and most of my friends thought I was crazy and chalked it up to a “mid-life crisis” thing, the best part of an experience like this can be summed up this way:

    Cost of the base MSRP of a BMW 325i Sedan = $30,900
    Cost of the BMW 325i loaded with options = $38,195
    Cost of the look on your ex’s face = price-less

    Enjoy it! And, don’t look back (although you might want to look in the review mirror once in a while…)!

    Brian M

  126. [...] by: newtelligence dasBlog 1.8.5223.1 Sign In Sunday, 28 May 2006 Taking back my blog – the fastest year Robert’s recent blogging about life, his family and more has gotten me to think a lot about whatI write here.  Every since joining Microsoft almost 10 years ago life has been moving forward at an exagerated pace.  In the last 12 months that has intensified even great.  Through this past year I have not made any time for blogging aside from an occasional I’m hiring post and a “hey guess what my team has done entry?”.   Unfortunately, here on this site you really isn’t much here that would tell you about who I am and what a crazy ride that last 12 months have been. That sucks.So starting today, I’m taking my blog back with the goal being to tell more about my life, who I am and what makes me tick.  This all started when I began to think about the time we’re living in.  I believe that the current technology revolution will be looked at a pivotal point for the world and that through the work I am a part of I’m helping shape the future.  I was thinking the other day about my Grandpa Joe (Josie is named after him) how he lived through the depression as a farmer.  He sold the family car to keep food on the table and to allow the kids to remain in school.  What would I give to hear about those days, the decisions he made and what was happening around him.  Unfortunately, Granpda Joe died when I was in the 4th grade and aside from old photos and stories from my mom I really don’t know much more about him.  My blog has a new importance in my life and its not necesarily about technology.  Moving forward you’ll see more about me, who I am and what I like.  My hope at least my kids and theirs will have something to look at. Turns out after looking at my archives all is not lost I just need to get back in the game.  I was parsed thorugh my archives and pulled out some of my favorites posts here from the last 4 years and also over on my wife’s blog.My Blog  The Mural is now completeIf its good enough for seven days I’ll buy itHave you thanked a soldier lately?An old friend is going to Berkley – He wrote the first social network I’ve ever usedOn VacationBanff Sulpfur Mountain SummitJosie’s Newest Trick9/11 Compilation AudioPhotos from Farm AidCh-ch-ch-ch-Changes (Turn and face the stranger) — New Job for Jeff at MicrosoftHow I get things done / Kicking some butt on your email inbox – Part 1How I get things done / Kicking some butt on your email inbox – Part 2We put out our American flag tonightSpinning at the Pro Club — I did itJosie and her hipThe Five F’s of my LifeOh no! I look like Steve JobsDiary of a Google ResearcherGuy on Community – I say its like tending barJosie and her retro bike in the Wall Street JournalDon’t lose sight of where you come from You can’t take the country out of the boy!Lauri’s BlogI’m officially sick of BushThe Josie Story Category (all Josie all the time)Speaking of Jeff’s FriendsSmartest Guys in the RoomOliver the cat that almost wasn’tEven when I get super busy, I my Flickr site does seem to keep up to date with photos, so there actually is a fair amount of stuff there from the last year.  So with that watch here for more from me, who I am.  I’ll still talk about hiring and cool stuff from my team (the work I do does help define me), beyond that you’ll find many more entries about what’s happening on the personal side.This will be fun. 05/28/2006 11:02:44 (Pacific Daylight Time, UTC-07:00)    Comments [1]   [...]

  127. Robert,
    This is the best time to pray.You need to ask God to guide you in whatever you doing.He’s the only one who can give you the satisfaction and meaning you are yearning for.

  128. Robert,
    This is the best time to pray.You need to ask God to guide you in whatever you doing.He’s the only one who can give you the satisfaction and meaning you are yearning for.

  129. Congrats! Once in a while rewarding oneself or one’s spouse is definitely worthwhile.

    Check out the Economist. They have an excellent article on how us middle income folks are no longer shopping just in our traditional price range. Purchases are bifurcating – buying up-market luxury products while simultaneously buying down-market frugal dollar-saving bargains. Starbucks = upmarket success, GM = stuck in the middle market failure. Lesson here is for companies to figure out how to go upmarket and downmarket without aliening customers and not staying stagnent in mid market.

    Back to techie stuff – for $40K I assume you upgraded to iDrive and GPS Nav system?

    I just bought a new 325i two months ago and love it.

    But also hate it! Maybe you can talk to the guys at the BMW tech center in Palo Alto about my pet peeves:

    1. The blue-tooth handsfree works but uses a proprietary protocol for phonebook data exchange so my cellphone (Sprint PPC-6700 running on EVDO and Windows Mobile) won’t upload the phonebook to the screen.

    Maybe you can get them to opensource the data exchange protocol so someone can write a decent uploader for all Windows Mobile phones. (I’m assuming their going to remain clueless about actually fixing it themselves.)

    2. Darn thing (the computer/nav/gps) is OEM’d from Siemens (not bad in itself) but is based on a closed Java architecture (bad). I knew it would be too good to be true, but I was hoping for an embedded WinCE or WinXP that could be enhanced.

    3. The car industry took years to add cup holders, so their rate of innovation is no surprise. But, why the heck can’t they replace the CD-ROM player in the radio/stereo with a DVD-ROM? For only about $20 more the MP3 data mode could play an 8GB Double-layer DVD-R instead of a 600MB CD-R. (Actually, I found you CAN play a data DVD, but you have to take out the GPS data from the DVD drive. So, you have great tunes and get lost, but if you want to know where you’re going you can’t have a lot of music :-)

    4. Anyone that complains about stupid “gothas” in PC’s or software should step back and look at the archaic decisions made in these products. Exactly which numbskull wouldn’t approve putting a USB plug into any of these car radios? Duh! put all your music on a usb flash drive and just stick it. Seems simple enough. Maybe in 10 years they’ll have it.

    (Afterall, all these car mfg are patting themselves on the back for having added sinking 50cent audio in jack. Only took how long to do that????)

  130. Congrats! Once in a while rewarding oneself or one’s spouse is definitely worthwhile.

    Check out the Economist. They have an excellent article on how us middle income folks are no longer shopping just in our traditional price range. Purchases are bifurcating – buying up-market luxury products while simultaneously buying down-market frugal dollar-saving bargains. Starbucks = upmarket success, GM = stuck in the middle market failure. Lesson here is for companies to figure out how to go upmarket and downmarket without aliening customers and not staying stagnent in mid market.

    Back to techie stuff – for $40K I assume you upgraded to iDrive and GPS Nav system?

    I just bought a new 325i two months ago and love it.

    But also hate it! Maybe you can talk to the guys at the BMW tech center in Palo Alto about my pet peeves:

    1. The blue-tooth handsfree works but uses a proprietary protocol for phonebook data exchange so my cellphone (Sprint PPC-6700 running on EVDO and Windows Mobile) won’t upload the phonebook to the screen.

    Maybe you can get them to opensource the data exchange protocol so someone can write a decent uploader for all Windows Mobile phones. (I’m assuming their going to remain clueless about actually fixing it themselves.)

    2. Darn thing (the computer/nav/gps) is OEM’d from Siemens (not bad in itself) but is based on a closed Java architecture (bad). I knew it would be too good to be true, but I was hoping for an embedded WinCE or WinXP that could be enhanced.

    3. The car industry took years to add cup holders, so their rate of innovation is no surprise. But, why the heck can’t they replace the CD-ROM player in the radio/stereo with a DVD-ROM? For only about $20 more the MP3 data mode could play an 8GB Double-layer DVD-R instead of a 600MB CD-R. (Actually, I found you CAN play a data DVD, but you have to take out the GPS data from the DVD drive. So, you have great tunes and get lost, but if you want to know where you’re going you can’t have a lot of music :-)

    4. Anyone that complains about stupid “gothas” in PC’s or software should step back and look at the archaic decisions made in these products. Exactly which numbskull wouldn’t approve putting a USB plug into any of these car radios? Duh! put all your music on a usb flash drive and just stick it. Seems simple enough. Maybe in 10 years they’ll have it.

    (Afterall, all these car mfg are patting themselves on the back for having added sinking 50cent audio in jack. Only took how long to do that????)

  131. after reading your blog recently i can only refer to my feelings . you are a wonderful human being , sir scoble …..

  132. after reading your blog recently i can only refer to my feelings . you are a wonderful human being , sir scoble …..

  133. If the blog doesn’t server you, you aren’t serving anyone else. I’ll stop readying if I know you’re family or friends have ever suffered because of this blog. It’s not a threat, it’s a promise. Audience controls media… and blog are mass media… if not you wouldn’t leave your diary lying on the front sidewalk. At the end of the day the vanity of a blog must be addressed. At the end of the day, know why I need to know what you are thinking… why its important to your family I know this… and could we both live better or worse without it.

  134. If the blog doesn’t server you, you aren’t serving anyone else. I’ll stop readying if I know you’re family or friends have ever suffered because of this blog. It’s not a threat, it’s a promise. Audience controls media… and blog are mass media… if not you wouldn’t leave your diary lying on the front sidewalk. At the end of the day the vanity of a blog must be addressed. At the end of the day, know why I need to know what you are thinking… why its important to your family I know this… and could we both live better or worse without it.

  135. My folks were the kind that saved, saved and saved. Not only money but all the nice pressies we bought them when we grew up and got good jobs and could afford to show them how thankful we were. My mother had a secret “stash” of brand new clothes, etc that she was saving for a “special” occasion. Then they suddenly got sick and they died within four months of each other. I uncovered the stash. I was a little peeved that I had spent all that time and money and it sat in a closet. Sooo – I wear the stuff. I eat my Sunday dinner off of wedding china, I enjoy all the stuff I work very hard to buy. I even went through a convertable car phase – and I loved it!! Unfort Ireland and convertables dont go together soo well ha ha.

    Live — dont stash. K

  136. My folks were the kind that saved, saved and saved. Not only money but all the nice pressies we bought them when we grew up and got good jobs and could afford to show them how thankful we were. My mother had a secret “stash” of brand new clothes, etc that she was saving for a “special” occasion. Then they suddenly got sick and they died within four months of each other. I uncovered the stash. I was a little peeved that I had spent all that time and money and it sat in a closet. Sooo – I wear the stuff. I eat my Sunday dinner off of wedding china, I enjoy all the stuff I work very hard to buy. I even went through a convertable car phase – and I loved it!! Unfort Ireland and convertables dont go together soo well ha ha.

    Live — dont stash. K

  137. My heart goes out to you Robert for the loss of your mother. You are an amazing guy and I hope you know how many people wish you the best.

    It’s great that you are taking time off and will have time to put life into perspective.

    You may not realize what a big impact you have in what you do today. I and other teams at Microsoft find you invaluable. We work so hard on our products and we want our products to connect to our customers and have an impact. Our biggest bottleneck is often being able to connect to our users without them only seeing a big corporate facade (the one the Slashdot crowd likes to bash).

    Your Channel 9 videos and this blog are amazing. You bring people together and bridge perspectives. My and my team now have a blog for our product and it’s wonderful, and this has been in large part because of your and Leah Pearlman’s blogging efforts.

    I wish you the best with your time off to contemplate life. As you look to what you as a person do exceptionally well, it wouldn’t surprise me if ends up being “connecting people and bridge their points of view”.

    Whatever you come up with, I think life is about knowing what you can do uniquely well, and then the joy of life comes from focusing your life and efforts around having that ability have a beneficial impact to the world and those around you. (Both in your personal and professional life)

    -Bryan

  138. My heart goes out to you Robert for the loss of your mother. You are an amazing guy and I hope you know how many people wish you the best.

    It’s great that you are taking time off and will have time to put life into perspective.

    You may not realize what a big impact you have in what you do today. I and other teams at Microsoft find you invaluable. We work so hard on our products and we want our products to connect to our customers and have an impact. Our biggest bottleneck is often being able to connect to our users without them only seeing a big corporate facade (the one the Slashdot crowd likes to bash).

    Your Channel 9 videos and this blog are amazing. You bring people together and bridge perspectives. My and my team now have a blog for our product and it’s wonderful, and this has been in large part because of your and Leah Pearlman’s blogging efforts.

    I wish you the best with your time off to contemplate life. As you look to what you as a person do exceptionally well, it wouldn’t surprise me if ends up being “connecting people and bridge their points of view”.

    Whatever you come up with, I think life is about knowing what you can do uniquely well, and then the joy of life comes from focusing your life and efforts around having that ability have a beneficial impact to the world and those around you. (Both in your personal and professional life)

    -Bryan

  139. Hey Robert, we met once at Reboot in Copenhagen last year, and I have been following your work on your blog as well as your videos for some time. Your work is inspiring to a lot of people from around the world. The fact that you mix tech with life on your blog is very inspiring to me, at least. Technology is there to be infused with life, be used in life – it cannot be just some separate theoretical field.

    Firstly: My deepest condolences for your loss. To lose your parent is a horrible experience, and it is just right that you spend this next week or two working those questions.

    I don’t know quite what to comment here, there have already been written many wise things. But I can say that I resonate well with your questions. How can we do more for the world, and for those we love?

    Stay healthy and enjoy the time with your family. Greetings from Oslo!

  140. Hey Robert, we met once at Reboot in Copenhagen last year, and I have been following your work on your blog as well as your videos for some time. Your work is inspiring to a lot of people from around the world. The fact that you mix tech with life on your blog is very inspiring to me, at least. Technology is there to be infused with life, be used in life – it cannot be just some separate theoretical field.

    Firstly: My deepest condolences for your loss. To lose your parent is a horrible experience, and it is just right that you spend this next week or two working those questions.

    I don’t know quite what to comment here, there have already been written many wise things. But I can say that I resonate well with your questions. How can we do more for the world, and for those we love?

    Stay healthy and enjoy the time with your family. Greetings from Oslo!

  141. Well amigo, your mother was right, you have to live enough… so what that the car was expensive… so what that you have to pay all this money… welth has to be distributed in order to be evaluated… you are happy… your wife is happy… your kids are happy… the bank is happy… and furthermore the banker wishes you good health in order you to pay them back the loan… so you just made a good friend that care about your health… isn’t that wonderful…

    Regarding your son my friend, I believe that things are simple… because when they are such, life is worth living… your son, as all kids, before and during his revolution is just a pretender of you… after he finishes with this unavoidable genes process he will be again a pretender of you… so just be yourself… enjoy it and have fun… don’t bother your mind… nobody else beside your relatives care about you… after all we born alone and we die alone…

  142. Well amigo, your mother was right, you have to live enough… so what that the car was expensive… so what that you have to pay all this money… welth has to be distributed in order to be evaluated… you are happy… your wife is happy… your kids are happy… the bank is happy… and furthermore the banker wishes you good health in order you to pay them back the loan… so you just made a good friend that care about your health… isn’t that wonderful…

    Regarding your son my friend, I believe that things are simple… because when they are such, life is worth living… your son, as all kids, before and during his revolution is just a pretender of you… after he finishes with this unavoidable genes process he will be again a pretender of you… so just be yourself… enjoy it and have fun… don’t bother your mind… nobody else beside your relatives care about you… after all we born alone and we die alone…

  143. Sorry to hear about your mom. I lost my father suddenly, and then, soon after, my brother. It was a strong 1-2 punch. But it helped me learn there is a big difference between pleasure and happiness. A BMW is pleasure. Hugging your kids and your wife is happiness. Go for the happiness, and the pleasure will follow. Go for the pleasure, and the happiness will remain elusive.

  144. Sorry to hear about your mom. I lost my father suddenly, and then, soon after, my brother. It was a strong 1-2 punch. But it helped me learn there is a big difference between pleasure and happiness. A BMW is pleasure. Hugging your kids and your wife is happiness. Go for the happiness, and the pleasure will follow. Go for the pleasure, and the happiness will remain elusive.

  145. [...] Anyone who’s been reading Scoble lately knows he’s been through a lot lately. I have to say, I certainly don’t always agree with his opinions or his style but I’m impressed by how open he’s been about it all on his blog. I’m a pretty private person and can’t imagine sharing that much detail about my life in such a public forum. At the same time it is interesting to read people’s comments to him and see how much of a support the blogging community can be. This post particularly caught my attention. I think at times we all ask many of the questions he’s asking now. It is nice to see something that puts the crazy day to day life in perspective and remind us all that there are more important things than the little stuff we spend most of our time worrying about. To Robert, hang in there!! [...]

  146. Yeah, put the XBox away and take your son camping. It’s a memory he can carry with him always. I can’t say I remember all the times I was gaming with friends and family…you know?

    Take care.

  147. Yeah, put the XBox away and take your son camping. It’s a memory he can carry with him always. I can’t say I remember all the times I was gaming with friends and family…you know?

    Take care.

  148. [...] Having a business model implies planning, making money, capitalizing. The occasional sell out. Yeh, well, ask me what my “love model” is and then we can talk — y’know, the one that means, “How are you going to make sure that you’re able to keep doing what you love doing?” (y’know, stuff that Scoble’s been thinking about lately). [...]

  149. [...] Many have heard that Scoble is taking a week off from blogging to handle his personal affairs and do some “thinking” as he deals with his mother’s death. How he’s continued blogging throughout this trauma has been amazing, and courageous, but now, he needs the time and we, his fans, owe him the time. We will be waiting for him when he comes back, and support him in whatever decisions he makes. [...]

  150. Great post. Just asking the question hurles you in the top percentage. Living, loving, caring… There are no absolute answers, only guesses.

    Care about youself, you are the base for everything you are, you think and feel. If you are ok, then you can nurture others. If you are not ok then you feed off others. It’s all about the energy flows. If you don’t leak energy then you can shine and inspire.

    Cry in public. It’s humbling.

    When looking inwards and finding a fear, face it. It’s developing. Fear is an energy drainer.

    Listen to your kid, learn something from him. Makes him confident.

    Question God. Question the scriptures. Feel God rather then believe in he/she/it. Find your God in a different religion, same guy just different robes. Study Islam. It will raise your understanding.

    If you work with your hands, get a ‘thinking’ hobby, if you are a ‘thinking’ worker get a hobby with your hands.

    And don’t take yourself so damn seriously :) Even Einstein could stick his tounge out and have a laugh!

  151. Great post. Just asking the question hurles you in the top percentage. Living, loving, caring… There are no absolute answers, only guesses.

    Care about youself, you are the base for everything you are, you think and feel. If you are ok, then you can nurture others. If you are not ok then you feed off others. It’s all about the energy flows. If you don’t leak energy then you can shine and inspire.

    Cry in public. It’s humbling.

    When looking inwards and finding a fear, face it. It’s developing. Fear is an energy drainer.

    Listen to your kid, learn something from him. Makes him confident.

    Question God. Question the scriptures. Feel God rather then believe in he/she/it. Find your God in a different religion, same guy just different robes. Study Islam. It will raise your understanding.

    If you work with your hands, get a ‘thinking’ hobby, if you are a ‘thinking’ worker get a hobby with your hands.

    And don’t take yourself so damn seriously :) Even Einstein could stick his tounge out and have a laugh!

  152. You’re not doing anything good by working for a massive corporation that colludes with the Chinese government to censor information (Gates met with Hu Jintao, a dictator, in his home a few weeks ago), a corporation that turns over records on its users to the government, a corporation that stifles competition, and of course, a corporation that makes shoddy products. If you have a lot of money, donate it to relief organizations. Invest it in ways for people to better their lives, to bring about social change, in citizen-based independent media or something… for christ’s sake don’t buy a BMW. Ride a bus. I have so very little respect for people like you.

  153. You’re not doing anything good by working for a massive corporation that colludes with the Chinese government to censor information (Gates met with Hu Jintao, a dictator, in his home a few weeks ago), a corporation that turns over records on its users to the government, a corporation that stifles competition, and of course, a corporation that makes shoddy products. If you have a lot of money, donate it to relief organizations. Invest it in ways for people to better their lives, to bring about social change, in citizen-based independent media or something… for christ’s sake don’t buy a BMW. Ride a bus. I have so very little respect for people like you.

  154. sorry about your Mum robert life is hell but what we do at the point of worries is what makes us diffrent making maryam happy is a good thing she is worth it and B.M.W stand for be my woman good choice the reason I am writting this is why dont the top people at Mirosoft realise who you are and what you are doing for them realy you are the voice of Microsoft . But I think people dont know what they have until they got it no more. take the time off and enjoy yourself as time dont repeat itself . keyvan

  155. sorry about your Mum robert life is hell but what we do at the point of worries is what makes us diffrent making maryam happy is a good thing she is worth it and B.M.W stand for be my woman good choice the reason I am writting this is why dont the top people at Mirosoft realise who you are and what you are doing for them realy you are the voice of Microsoft . But I think people dont know what they have until they got it no more. take the time off and enjoy yourself as time dont repeat itself . keyvan

  156. Sorry about your mom. It was interesting to read how this prompted you to do something that you wouldnt have normally done. I had one similar incident couple of weeks back.

    Me and my friend were involve in a biking accident where we hit an old lady who wandered right across the road. She went in to a coma and died soon after. Somehow this resulted in me buying a cellphone that i wanted to for a long time. I am a very basic cell user – i dont even send text messages – and kept thiking that purchase would simply be a waste. Two days after the incident something just dragged me to the store and i ended up buying the phone. ( BTW, i have still not used most of the ‘advanced’ features in my new phone).

    I am reminded of a quote from your Book – “everything doesnt change. Something changes and it impacts lot of other things”. How true!!!!

  157. Sorry about your mom. It was interesting to read how this prompted you to do something that you wouldnt have normally done. I had one similar incident couple of weeks back.

    Me and my friend were involve in a biking accident where we hit an old lady who wandered right across the road. She went in to a coma and died soon after. Somehow this resulted in me buying a cellphone that i wanted to for a long time. I am a very basic cell user – i dont even send text messages – and kept thiking that purchase would simply be a waste. Two days after the incident something just dragged me to the store and i ended up buying the phone. ( BTW, i have still not used most of the ‘advanced’ features in my new phone).

    I am reminded of a quote from your Book – “everything doesnt change. Something changes and it impacts lot of other things”. How true!!!!

  158. hey man, dont sweat it. Your a neat guy, and you treat your woman cooly. Just love people.

  159. [...] In May 2006, Robert Scoble shares his honest story about the death of his mother: It is open, sincere, and engaging. Many people responded with heartfelt condolences and warmth. In my opinion, if there ever were an example of community, of rallying around and for somebody, Scoble’s post on his mom certainly fits the bill. In response to that post, the Orcology Blog poses a relevant question: is this or isn’t Scoble’s blog a Microsoft Blog? It’s difficult to tell. [...]

  160. [...] That’s why I appreciate it when Scoble talks about his mother passing away (as sad as the topic is), and also why I appreciate Dave Winer (as much as people keep telling me to drop him). I feel like, on occasion, I get really good morsels of old guy wisdom. And seeing as I’m planning on dishing it out, I had better be getting it from somewhere! So if you know any good old guy blogs, I’d love to hear about them. Peace. [...]

  161. [...] My wife an I have spent some time over the last two weekends just longing for a simpler life.  She returned from a trip to Montana earlier this week, where she attended her cousin’s graduation.  She brought back some lovely pictures of the mountains and lakes she visited.  I have pictures of her shooting some pretty impressive weapons too.  Through it all, we’ve discovered what we already know:  we miss the mountains. It’s so flat her in Indiana.  We grew up in Reno, at the foot of the Sierra Nevada, and a trip to the mountains was usually less than an hour away.  It turns out that Kalispell needs a bowling alley.  I’d love to just pack up and move and open a bowling alley as a family owned business.  It wouldn’t have to be a large one to survive there.  Of course, there are the issues of adjusting to a simpler life.  We tend to get used the rat race…or is it that the rat race runs us?  We’re still contemplating all this.  We know the adjustments can be made, we’ve read about it in this article, and we lived that way when we were in the ministry (more on that later if anyone is interested).  I haven’t had a life changing event happen to me like Robert Scoble (he lost his Mom) has recently, but I can definitely relate to his blog entry where he said he is questioning everything.  I guess we need to do this occasionally. [...]

  162. [...] I think Scoble was driven to blog because he genuinely loved Microsoft and the people who worked there, and had a knack for articulating his passion about his company–and about his life. When I think about Scobleizer, I think about his incredibly honest posts about his mother, who died recently, and how the experience affected his view of his family and his life. I enjoyed his dispatches from the tech-conference circuit. They were human and humorous. [...]

  163. There are important things in life that never should be ignored and be given importance. I know, its so many. I’ll just point one important factor to soothens life. Share your life with someone special, check out webdatedotcom. See someone there that might interest you to be with.

  164. There are important things in life that never should be ignored and be given importance. I know, its so many. I’ll just point one important factor to soothens life. Share your life with someone special, check out webdatedotcom. See someone there that might interest you to be with.

  165. There are a lot of thoughts swirling about in your head, and feelings in your heart. Lots of questions and maybe the answers aren’t as readily available. There is a great book called “When Life Changes or You Wish It Would” by Carol Adrienne that I found to be really useful when one of the many times change appeared in my life. It’s an easy read, you may find that it makes total sense or at least helps to ease your mind a bit.

  166. There are a lot of thoughts swirling about in your head, and feelings in your heart. Lots of questions and maybe the answers aren’t as readily available. There is a great book called “When Life Changes or You Wish It Would” by Carol Adrienne that I found to be really useful when one of the many times change appeared in my life. It’s an easy read, you may find that it makes total sense or at least helps to ease your mind a bit.

  167. Life is short, enjoy your money and the joy that Maryam
    is experiencing driving when she’s driving her new BMW. I purchased a new Lexus, and it’s a wonderful experience. We deserve it!

  168. Life is short, enjoy your money and the joy that Maryam
    is experiencing driving when she’s driving her new BMW. I purchased a new Lexus, and it’s a wonderful experience. We deserve it!

  169. Robert, I would like to say don’t worry about it, your probably just like the x-man Longshot. With a pure hearts intention everything works out, even the longest shot. But I know I think about stuff like that myself.

    None of us probably have to, but we still do, and THAT’S what tells us that we are on the right track.

    Good luck, love that your are sharing it with the world. Maybe we can’t excel all the time, but if we manage to step up and save the day and sweep some people of their feet every now and then, we don’t have to worry.

    André Hedetoft
    Movie-geek
    Blogging about geek porn over at http://www.andrehedetoft.com/geekporn

  170. Robert, I would like to say don’t worry about it, your probably just like the x-man Longshot. With a pure hearts intention everything works out, even the longest shot. But I know I think about stuff like that myself.

    None of us probably have to, but we still do, and THAT’S what tells us that we are on the right track.

    Good luck, love that your are sharing it with the world. Maybe we can’t excel all the time, but if we manage to step up and save the day and sweep some people of their feet every now and then, we don’t have to worry.

    André Hedetoft
    Movie-geek
    Blogging about geek porn over at http://www.andrehedetoft.com/geekporn

  171. It true at times of grief when you loose someone near and dear to you. you cant help but to sit back and want to watch the world go by, contemplate your navel, or what ever. Time seems to fill a void left in your heart, where you summise, and catorgorise your own existence, into slots, of life ,love, wealth, family etc, and so forth. What we have to remember though is we are loved by those who know us and care, if they didnt care they would not be there, life is to short, live each day as it comes, do with it what you will, be happy and enjoy your life and family after all is said and done, those dearly departed from us would want nothing less

  172. It true at times of grief when you loose someone near and dear to you. you cant help but to sit back and want to watch the world go by, contemplate your navel, or what ever. Time seems to fill a void left in your heart, where you summise, and catorgorise your own existence, into slots, of life ,love, wealth, family etc, and so forth. What we have to remember though is we are loved by those who know us and care, if they didnt care they would not be there, life is to short, live each day as it comes, do with it what you will, be happy and enjoy your life and family after all is said and done, those dearly departed from us would want nothing less

  173. I hope things are going better for you now that time has passed. I was actually caught by the title of your blog, and thought I’d read and post comment. This is only the second time I’ve done this.
    I think that when you are at a point in your life you can really sit back and enjoy it, then do so! If it’s not hurting you or anybody else, then do it!
    My husband and I have four kids 6 and under, so something like buying a brand new car would’nt go well for us, but God willing, we will live to see our kids out of the house and then THE FUN BEGINS!! : )
    Even at that, I find myself being too impulsive sometimes to because my husband works for our local police department here in Lebanon, and even though it’s a small town (14,000 people) I find myself worrying sometimes that he may not be here tomorrow. Things can go from normal to erratic in a matter of seconds at a police department.
    Anyway, you are not alone with your thoughts and questions. *Everyone* has them, even Christians, who relatively “know where they are going” but it’s still scary to think about all that will go on that you could miss out on. I think the biggest thing is that life will still go on no matter if you are here or not. I can’t bear the thought of missing *any* of my childrens’ milestones if I happen to die. And the fact is, life would still go on. I think that’s the most unsettling thing of all.

  174. I hope things are going better for you now that time has passed. I was actually caught by the title of your blog, and thought I’d read and post comment. This is only the second time I’ve done this.
    I think that when you are at a point in your life you can really sit back and enjoy it, then do so! If it’s not hurting you or anybody else, then do it!
    My husband and I have four kids 6 and under, so something like buying a brand new car would’nt go well for us, but God willing, we will live to see our kids out of the house and then THE FUN BEGINS!! : )
    Even at that, I find myself being too impulsive sometimes to because my husband works for our local police department here in Lebanon, and even though it’s a small town (14,000 people) I find myself worrying sometimes that he may not be here tomorrow. Things can go from normal to erratic in a matter of seconds at a police department.
    Anyway, you are not alone with your thoughts and questions. *Everyone* has them, even Christians, who relatively “know where they are going” but it’s still scary to think about all that will go on that you could miss out on. I think the biggest thing is that life will still go on no matter if you are here or not. I can’t bear the thought of missing *any* of my childrens’ milestones if I happen to die. And the fact is, life would still go on. I think that’s the most unsettling thing of all.