All your snakes are belong to us?

by on July 20, 2006

I don’t link to RageBoy (aka Christopher Locke, aka one of the ClueTrain Manifesto authors) very often. Why not? Well, I’m a geek and he’s a good writer. The two often don’t mix. I think he does drugs, too, or maybe some good Merlot. Cause his stuff only makes sense to me after I drink some good Merlot. Anyway, tonight I’m not drinking. I am supposed to be cleaning out the garage. So, I’m looking for good work avoidance techniques. RageBoy supplied just what I needed with his “all your snakes are belong to us.” Now, please don’t follow me into hell. This will waste at least 10 minutes of your time. Well, at least I warned you. I think this meme is gonna be even lamer than the last time it went around (you know, remember the “all your base belong to us” thing?)

One other warning: some of the videos over on RageBoy’s site contain adult language. If you’re 12 and not yet in bed you’re not allowed to watch these.

Oh, this little journey through snakes on a plane brought me to Josh Friedman’s blog. He’s a script writer in Hollywood. Damn, that guy can write! His version of Snakes on a Plane had me spitting Diet Coke out of my nose (which was impressive cause I haven’t had any for hours) A few more adult words. I subscribed. Another 20 minutes wasted invested in work avoidance. At least I warned you.

What is this telling you? I’ve lost it. Yes. And it’s time to go to bed. More work avoidance tomorrow!

Update: Apologies to Christopher Locke. My post above made it sound like I was claiming he is a drinker and/or worse — I did not. He wrote me and told me he’s been sober for 21 years.

  • Hey, if you need to avoid some work on Saturday, come on over and I'll pop in the Firefly pilot while the grill warms up. :-)
  • Christopher Coulter
    Josh is a master, if a bit too 'slam face into a brick wall styled', I told you about him eons ago, yah big slacker, back in your "I only care about tech blogs" era; you linked to a nearly year old piece. But see the DFL and Crimson Ape saga for his best blog work, [re: see Kaufman's 'Adapation' for the inside joke].

    Ken Levine, Denis McGrath, Craig Mazin, Ted Elliott, Alex Epstein, Jane Espenson, John Rogers and John August also have great script blogs. Josh, hasn't posted in awhile, he's all busy with Sarah Connor Chronicles now, I assume.

    And Rageboy is just a bad bad Hunter Thompson clone, gonzo on the fuzzy photocopy machine, I'd say he needs MORE pharmacological enhancements, that or more Diet Coke and a year's supply of extra-sugary Pixie sticks.
  • Snakes on a Plane reaches Second Life. Torley directs.
    SNAKES ON A PLANE!
  • That's really nice of you Baba, thank you!
  • Hehehe, i can believe the amount of work he put into that!



    Timothy Graf
    http://www.grafweb.com
    http://www.grafwebnetworks.com
  • Christopher Locke is just a Hunter S. Thompson wannabe and actually not much of a writer at all. His works seem to head directly into the Book Warehouse remainder bins. The best thing that happened in his career is managing to be listed as a co-author of The Cluetrain Manifesto, a tome of questionable value.
  • Hmm pity one of the posts is on that dark grey on a black barground
  • That's quite an opinion you have there, Mike. Didn't notice any outstanding writing on that blog of yours, but everyone's a critic, right?
  • Robert

    In regard to work avoidance, I guess you did not read 'Eat that Frog'.
    Maybe you suffer from burnout and also do not feel like clearing the garage.
    Have you thought about calling a concierge like myself in your area to do the work?

    Take care

    Serge
    Biz:
    http://www.njconcierges.com
    Blog:
    http://www.sergetheconcierge.com
  • I'm not drinking any f@#king merlot!
  • Karim
    Ok, the comments in this thread made me laugh more than the Snakes on a Plane video.

    Writing is funny business. In what other line of work can you insult someone by implying that they're not f--ked up and damaged enough? :-)
  • The trouble with Josh is that he hardly ever posts.
  • Karim: you rock. I wish I could hire you.
  • This was a poor poor excuse to avoid a few minutes of work, in fact, I think work was preferable to watching this :)

    I can't beleive I looked at it till the end.
  • I warned you! :-)
  • Christopher Coulter
    In what other line of work can you insult someone by implying that they’re not f–Jed up and damaged enough?

    Heh. MTV News correspondent... if Kurt Loader and John Norris were honest, they'd tell half the rock pantheon to go back on mind-alterting substances, makes for better albums and far more interesting stories. You'd rather Alice Cooper and Dee Snider on Prozac? Would work for E! TV channel too, I mean Winona Ryder sure is dreadfully banal boring of late.

    PS - Actually Cooper is a nice guy Republican, saw him in goofy golf shorts on a Tucson course (that one near Catalina) back in the day, in my brief brush with greatness.
  • Karim
    Thanks Robert... you are too kind. :-)

    Christopher: Maybe it's because I had my mind on job offers + mind-altering substances, but I had to read "Would work for E!" about three times before I parsed it the way you intended... ;-)

    Speaking of Winona and mind-altering substances, she just got done with A Scanner Darkly... so maybe she's boring because she's drying out from Substance D... :-) one of those life-mirrors-art things...?
  • >I think he does drugs, too, or maybe some good Merlot.

    Robert,

    thanks for the link, but for the record (and in lieu of a libel suit), I've been clean and sober for 22 years. Plus, if I *were* gonna drink, it sure as hell wouldn't be Merlot -- and if I were gonna get high, it wouldn't be on the lo-grade weed several other commenters here are obviously smoking.
  • Sorry to Christopher Locke. I don't know him personally, so shouldn't have made him out to be a drinker. He just wrote me that he's been clean and sober for 22 years. I, on the other hand, have not been.
  • Robert, over the last several months, you've shown your ignorance in new and sometimes frightening ways. "Because I'm not quite up to understanding something, the other person must be drunk/drugged/impaired unable to add value to my life, or in a different line of work from me."

    Ever think maybe it's YOU?

    --------

    Named in a 2001 Financial Times Group survey as one of the "top 50 business thinkers in the world," Christopher Locke (aka RageBoy, aka Chief Blogging Officer) is co-author of The Cluetrain Manifesto: The End of Business As Usual, and author of Gonzo Marketing: Winning Through Worst Practices and The Bombast Transcripts: Rants and Screeds of RageBoy®.

    He has worked at the Japanese government's Fifth Generation Project, at Ricoh, at Carnegie Mellon University's Robotics Institute, at MCI, at IBM, as a consultant/blogger for HighBeam Research, and as a short-order cook at Nick Tahoe's Texas Hots.

    Locke has written for Wired, Release 1.0, The Industry Standard, Harvard Business Review and many other publications. His work has been covered by Fast Company, Advertising Age, Business Week, The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Fortune, The Economist, The Financial Times, and so on. He has never recanted anything.
  • I dunno Scobe, I think I gathered your meaning.

    Locke's stuff seems like getting drunk or high would be a step DOWN for him, if you take my meaning. Whereas for a lot of folks, hitting that stream REQUIRES drugs or alcohol.

    Now I'm not sure if *I'M* making sense, and all I'm on is Cheddar Goldfish, oh and life, can I say that I'm high on life? Oh, wait, I'm being told I can't.
  • Jeneane: I was trying to be funny. It didn't work, obviously. I love Chris' writing. I just think it's twisted. Which is the effect I believe he's going for.
  • Suggest you broaden the wine taste now that you live so close to the source. Merlot for gawds sakees! Might as well be drinking that swill the cartoonist peddles.
  • Christopher Coulter
    “Would work for E!” about three times before I parsed it the way you intended…

    Well, it had a double meaning too... :) I didn't think anyone would catch that.

    Yeah, a Scanner Darkly, development hell, oh oh, art it up when can't deliver, Kaufman deserved more the big-budget BladeRunner feel, not the Linklater indy roto-scoping for it's own sake, what a casting nightmare, imho. Poor Charlie. Sad thing is, Scanner is tailormade for a big budget Josh Friedman take, just keep Koepp out of the park. Koepp is a master tho, in the Zathura mold. Never heard the outcome of the big WGA Josh and Koepp fight, I knew Artful Craig sided with Josh tho. Shame about 'The Great Raid' for Josh tho...a great raid indeed.
  • Christopher Coulter
    Wherefore art thou go tho; too many tho's. Permission to extend and revise my remarks.

    And my only 'drug' is Red Bull...could be President in regards to real drugs, as never touched. I pee cleaner than Icelandic Spring Water.
  • Christopher: I know your real weakness: sushi. :-)

    Frank: Merlot is a metaphor. Hope that helps. Heheh.
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