So, you need a job? Man, do resumes suck

October 5, 2008 By

Since the economy is slowing down, I’m hearing of lots of you who are getting laid off and looking for jobs. Here’s my experience on the other side of that — being someone who is trying to hire someone.

Fast Company TV is hiring an administrative assistant. We advertised the job Friday morning on Craig’s List (which is where I got my job at NEC in the depth of the last tech bust back in 2002). So far I’ve received more than 90 resumes for a job that’ll pay $12 to $15 (not much, I know, but for a starter job not too bad — my first job back in 1993 paid $10 an hour and this one should be a good launch to a fun career in journalism or PR or any number of jobs).

It’s very possible that in the next two years YOU will need a job too and will be facing that kind of competition (when I got my job at NEC, it was even worse, they said I beat 500 people for the job that I got). How do you get past the first stage?

First, based on the resumes I’m seeing, realize that 80% are crap and will be rejected out of hand. How do you get put into the crap pile? Here’s some ways.

1. Include only an attachment and don’t write anything in the body of the email.
2. Include a misspelling.
3. Apply for a job which you are clearly unqualified for (it stands out like a sore thumb).
4. Include a Word document that can’t be opened (one person sent one in Microsoft Word 2007 format).
5. Include only a resume and don’t explain why you think you are qualified for the job (believe it or not, a well written letter puts you to the top 20% pretty quickly).
6. Send it from an email address with a goofy name. You should see some of them that I’ve gotten.
7. Apply for a job for which you are clearly overqualified for (I got one resume from a software engineer).
8. Have your friend send in a resume for you (I got one of these, actually).
9. Don’t test your email on a variety of clients (a bunch that I received were poorly formatted, had characters that didn’t display properly, etc).
10. Send it from free version of Hotmail, which puts an advertisement at the end of your email. Looks very professional when all I see is the ad and nothing else.

OK, I assume most people reading this will be in the 20% of those who didn’t screw up in some way and get rejected outright.

So, now how do you get into the final two or three pile which is what will earn you an interview? You need to stand out from the crowd somehow. Here’s some ways to do that.

1. Blog. Only one out of 98 included his/her blog address on the email. Make sure your blog’s content matches the job you are applying for, though. If someone had a blog showing how to be a better administrative assistant you can bet that I’d read every word. Same for a Twitter or Facebook or FriendFeed profile. But don’t send those along if they aren’t professionally-oriented. Do assume that I’ll Google you and search around for what you’ve done online anyway.
2. Include a customized video that demonstrates your skills and personality. No one did that yet.
3. Demonstrate you did some research on us. One person said “hello Scobleizer.” That was one of the few that was customized and demonstrated that there would be a human being on the other side who’d read all these.
4. Make sure you write for a human, but include tags and things for electronic scanners too. Do some searches on Google for “how to write a resume” and you’ll find tons of tips on how to do this. But always assume there’s a human reading these things first.
5. Don’t just apply for the job, apply for the career. I’m looking for people who don’t want to be stuck in a $15-an-hour job forever. I want someone who I can get out of that job as quickly as possible and into something more fun and higher paying. Even if that doesn’t work out, I’m looking for people who have a career in mind, not just a “job.”
6. Demonstrate that you’d be fun to have around. In this case you’re applying for a job at Fast Company with someone who does videos with innovative people around the world and who loves talking tech. No one put in there anything about their skills in using travel services like Tripit. No one put anything in there about their love of technology to be more productive. An administrative assistant who mentioned that they used David Allen’s programs, for instance, would get noticed.
7. Make sure your email is perfect in every way. Have tons of friends look it over for mistakes. I’d even pay a professional editor to do that because of how bad most of these resumes were. Even little mistakes get noticed instantly and usually get you rejected outright (there’s no excuse for sloppiness here).

Anyway, these are just some ideas. I remember at NEC that it was my cover letter that got me noticed (they had highlighted what caught their eyes) and my blog (they had printed out lots of my blogs and wanted to talk to me about why I wrote what I did).

Hope this helps one of you get a job quickly. Do you have any other ideas for how to help job seekers?

Filed Under: technology industry Tagged With: cover letter, craig's list, job, job seeking, laid off, resume, tips

http://helensventitsky.com/ bigstarlet

HI Robert,

Loved the article, and have bookmarked it for future refernce, however I would have to agree with the folks here r.e. pay rate. I would guess that one of the reasons why the quality of the resumes is so low is that the pay rate was laughably insubstantial for the Bay Area. When I last temped in SF doing administrative work, my going rate per hour was $20.00. As a TEMP. In 2001. Even here in Reno, NV I received $15.00 per hour working as a temp in an admin. asst (I’ve changed careers, since then). I would suggest comparing pay rates to what others in your field and your area provide, posting a higher pay rate along with he post, and see if the quality of the resumes improve somewhat.
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http://lawnstogardens.wordpress.com/ peakoilboy

Many people in tech had better learn how to farm. Your resume had better include “Soil-Food-Web Specialist” the way this economy is going.

We don’t need another web gadget, we need farmers.

Randy, LawnstoGardens.com
http://lawnstogardens.wordpress.com/ peakoilboy

Many people in tech had better learn how to farm. Your resume had better include “Soil-Food-Web Specialist” the way this economy is going.

We don’t need another web gadget, we need farmers.

Randy, LawnstoGardens.com
http://mzinga.com/v/aaron/ Aaron Strout

Robert – Totally agree with your frustration here. In fact, as Jeff Crites mentions in his comment above, I did a post on a related topic several months back (Hiring in a 2.0 World). It obviously struck a nerve as it garnered coverage in US News and World Report and in the Boston Sunday Globe’s Business/Career section. Our friend in common, Shel Israel, also wrote a follow up post. Here is the link: http://redcouch.typepad.com/weblog/2008/03/mzingas-hiring.html

Best,
Aaron | @astrout
http://mzinga.com/v/aaron/ Aaron Strout

Robert – Totally agree with your frustration here. In fact, as Jeff Crites mentions in his comment above, I did a post on a related topic several months back (Hiring in a 2.0 World). It obviously struck a nerve as it garnered coverage in US News and World Report and in the Boston Sunday Globe’s Business/Career section. Our friend in common, Shel Israel, also wrote a follow up post. Here is the link: http://redcouch.typepad.com/weblog/2008/03/mzingas-hiring.html

Best,
Aaron | @astrout
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Yo Jo

Bob,

I appreciate the regard you give to reducing genericy in applicants, but let’s look at it from another perspective: In this day and age, who can survive on what you’re paying? Granted, you acknowledged that and I didn’t catch the locale of your job opportunity, but under many circumstances in this job market, a prospect at that wage will be working more than one job and most likely won’t have a whole lot of time to sleep, let alone blog — assuming they can even afford a PC, internet access, etc.

As far as passion about the job – the potential applicant may be passionate about what they do, but don’t have the ability to devote passion because they have to pay their bills, feed their kids, etc. Perhaps they’ve been laid off and quite honestly, will bail at the first sign of trouble, because loyalty is non-existent from corporate attitudes where money and shareholder appeasement is rule #1. And let’s face it, when heads roll, admin staff get pink slips almost always at the onset of downsizing, rightsizing, whatever you want to call it.

The dominating factor in this job market, especially for lower-tiered roles, is fear. Fear of not being able to eat, to pay their bills. As a media professional, I’ve got my ear to the rail and things are bad. I certainly don’t want to appear that I’m trying to “one-up” you, but I’ve been working a lot longer than you and have seen a few recessions and this market is the worst I’ve ever seen.

All that said – I don’t disagree that you want to scope your prospects to make sure you’re getting quality – which indeed is difficult to find. Professionalism is a dying attribute.
Yo Jo

Bob,

I appreciate the regard you give to reducing genericy in applicants, but let’s look at it from another perspective: In this day and age, who can survive on what you’re paying? Granted, you acknowledged that and I didn’t catch the locale of your job opportunity, but under many circumstances in this job market, a prospect at that wage will be working more than one job and most likely won’t have a whole lot of time to sleep, let alone blog — assuming they can even afford a PC, internet access, etc.

As far as passion about the job – the potential applicant may be passionate about what they do, but don’t have the ability to devote passion because they have to pay their bills, feed their kids, etc. Perhaps they’ve been laid off and quite honestly, will bail at the first sign of trouble, because loyalty is non-existent from corporate attitudes where money and shareholder appeasement is rule #1. And let’s face it, when heads roll, admin staff get pink slips almost always at the onset of downsizing, rightsizing, whatever you want to call it.

The dominating factor in this job market, especially for lower-tiered roles, is fear. Fear of not being able to eat, to pay their bills. As a media professional, I’ve got my ear to the rail and things are bad. I certainly don’t want to appear that I’m trying to “one-up” you, but I’ve been working a lot longer than you and have seen a few recessions and this market is the worst I’ve ever seen.

All that said – I don’t disagree that you want to scope your prospects to make sure you’re getting quality – which indeed is difficult to find. Professionalism is a dying attribute.
Guest

From my perspective, cold replying to a job posting is like walking up to a girl at a bar and just asking her to go home with you. Even if she’s at the bar alone and is actually looking for some company, that’s probably not a great way to get what you’re after, unless you’re an absolute stud/MIT MSc in CS. Even then, looking for a job is like looking for a wifey or husband – take some time to get to know them. Get familiar, get comfortable, then maybe get intimate.

Many (if not most or all) companies prefer to hire from within their own networks first, as well as from their customers/users/community. I think it’s pretty natural to be more comfortable with someone that already has some exposure to your team or your products, or hopefully both.

So what do you do if you don’t have any connections to a company? Build some. Use their products, read their blog (and comment!), participate in the community. Get involved in the conversation, or, if you can’t find it, start one. No doubt you have many redeeming qualities that aren’t captured in your work experience and resume; showing interest and asking questions is a good way to at least hint at a little depth.

I occasionally get asked for job advice. My first hint is usually to go to Startuply. My real suggestion is this: make a list of the companies, brands, and products that you use, like and admire. Seriously, write that shit down. Don’t you want to work on stuff you think is cool, anyway? Then, start getting to know them better; read their blog, comment if you have something relevant to say (questions are great), and spend some time actually thinking about what they do. Try to conversate. Romance them.

My bet is that you can do a lot to increase your odds of getting your foot in the door, so to speak. You still won’t get the girl every time, but you’ll definitely have a better shot. Don’t quit when it doesn’t work, just keep expanding your circle of targets (I mean, someone has to work at Yahoo). You might meet some people, get a job, or even learn something in the process.

That make any sense?
http://www.startuply.com Luke G

From my perspective, cold replying to a job posting is like walking up to a girl at a bar and just asking her to go home with you. Even if she’s at the bar alone and is actually looking for some company, that’s probably not a great way to get what you’re after, unless you’re an absolute stud/MIT MSc in CS. Even then, looking for a job is like looking for a wifey or husband – take some time to get to know them. Get familiar, get comfortable, then maybe get intimate.

Many (if not most or all) companies prefer to hire from within their own networks first, as well as from their customers/users/community. I think it’s pretty natural to be more comfortable with someone that already has some exposure to your team or your products, or hopefully both.

So what do you do if you don’t have any connections to a company? Build some. Use their products, read their blog (and comment!), participate in the community. Get involved in the conversation, or, if you can’t find it, start one. No doubt you have many redeeming qualities that aren’t captured in your work experience and resume; showing interest and asking questions is a good way to at least hint at a little depth.

I occasionally get asked for job advice. My first hint is usually to go to Startuply. My real suggestion is this: make a list of the companies, brands, and products that you use, like and admire. Seriously, write that shit down. Don’t you want to work on stuff you think is cool, anyway? Then, start getting to know them better; read their blog, comment if you have something relevant to say (questions are great), and spend some time actually thinking about what they do. Try to conversate. Romance them.

My bet is that you can do a lot to increase your odds of getting your foot in the door, so to speak. You still won’t get the girl every time, but you’ll definitely have a better shot. Don’t quit when it doesn’t work, just keep expanding your circle of targets (I mean, someone has to work at Yahoo). You might meet some people, get a job, or even learn something in the process.

That make any sense?
http://lairigmarketing.typepad.com/ Kevin Horne

Parallel with the resume, for all the MBAs out there don’t squander the time invested – do some notable things you can put ON your resume (whatever form it takes)

some ideas here:
http://lairigmarketing.typepad.com/lairig_marketing/2008/10/whats-a-marketi.html
http://lairigmarketing.typepad.com Kevin Horne

Parallel with the resume, for all the MBAs out there don’t squander the time invested – do some notable things you can put ON your resume (whatever form it takes)

some ideas here:
http://lairigmarketing.typepad.com/lairig_marketing/2008/10/whats-a-marketi.html
http://www.emersondirect.net/ marc meyer

With all the social media networking sites that are now available-you’d better be on them and, you’d better be consistent. That means LinkedIn and Facebook and Friend Feed and your corp.site and your blog etc etc. BTW, I’m looking for some collaborators on a cool project that won’t pay anything. Hit me up.
http://www.emersondirect.net marc meyer

With all the social media networking sites that are now available-you’d better be on them and, you’d better be consistent. That means LinkedIn and Facebook and Friend Feed and your corp.site and your blog etc etc. BTW, I’m looking for some collaborators on a cool project that won’t pay anything. Hit me up.
http://www.genotrope.com/ TS

The advice you are dishing is reasonably good, but relevant to your audience and not $15/hr administrative assistants.
I think your point #5 is the best advice. People don’t go to work at jobs, so they shouldn’t search for jobs. Find the best company for you first, then the job will present itself.

I agree with Luke G, just looking through job postings is pretty lame. Particularly when you are in a high demand profession/skill set, where a keyword search will return thousands of almost random results.
http://www.genotrope.com TS

The advice you are dishing is reasonably good, but relevant to your audience and not $15/hr administrative assistants.
I think your point #5 is the best advice. People don’t go to work at jobs, so they shouldn’t search for jobs. Find the best company for you first, then the job will present itself.

I agree with Luke G, just looking through job postings is pretty lame. Particularly when you are in a high demand profession/skill set, where a keyword search will return thousands of almost random results.
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http://www.encontrado.es/ Encuentra a Carlitos

Thanks for the advice Robert. Of no use for me really, I never worked and intend not to work… ever.
I suppose its a big issue though (for those looking for a job of course).
Although I can imagine that some of you guys reading this post may wish to say like Jack Handy: “I wish I would have a real tragic love affair and get so bummed out that I’d just quit my job and become a bum for a few years, because I was thinking about doing that anyway.”
http://www.encontrado.es Encuentra a Carlitos

Thanks for the advice Robert. Of no use for me really, I never worked and intend not to work… ever.
I suppose its a big issue though (for those looking for a job of course).
Although I can imagine that some of you guys reading this post may wish to say like Jack Handy: “I wish I would have a real tragic love affair and get so bummed out that I’d just quit my job and become a bum for a few years, because I was thinking about doing that anyway.”
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http://www.biznik.com/ Leif Hansen

I had a fun time creating an interesting online resume for social media related work last year that, though somewhat slapped together, got some good response. It incorporates a number of your items above, but neglects a few as well:
http://www.SparkGuy.com
http://www.biznik.com Leif Hansen

I had a fun time creating an interesting online resume for social media related work last year that, though somewhat slapped together, got some good response. It incorporates a number of your items above, but neglects a few as well:
http://www.SparkGuy.com
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Mike

I agree that “standing out” is key in the emerging era of shrinking economy and jobs. Not sure if blog is the top of the pile though…i think there are a couple of new sites that offer creation of an online portfolio, resume, career page…i think if my resume had a link to one of these online portfolio sites with a reference that you could see my video interview portfolio it would make a big difference…as an example for one of these online resume sites http://www.nuresume.com
Mike

I agree that “standing out” is key in the emerging era of shrinking economy and jobs. Not sure if blog is the top of the pile though…i think there are a couple of new sites that offer creation of an online portfolio, resume, career page…i think if my resume had a link to one of these online portfolio sites with a reference that you could see my video interview portfolio it would make a big difference…as an example for one of these online resume sites http://www.nuresume.com
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Ed

Part of the pay package here is no doubt prestige. $15 an hour working for Scoble and FastCompany.TV is not the same as $25 an hour working as a temp. It’s actually substantially better. Impress Scoble for a year, and put that on your resume, and you’ll have a careeer.

People still take shitty, low paying jobs as production assistants on films or clerks at the New York Times — or work for FREE as interns for politicians — for the exact same reason. These jobs lead somewhere. The people you get to work with are the type of people you want to be one day when your career is further along.

Is an employer that has this prestige at their disposal being a jerk by paying less? Perhaps. But my experience is that the organizations with jobs like this don’t have as much money to spend. If you’re looking for a high paying, soulless job, go to Wall Street instead. Oh wait. Too late.
Ed

Part of the pay package here is no doubt prestige. $15 an hour working for Scoble and FastCompany.TV is not the same as $25 an hour working as a temp. It’s actually substantially better. Impress Scoble for a year, and put that on your resume, and you’ll have a careeer.

People still take shitty, low paying jobs as production assistants on films or clerks at the New York Times — or work for FREE as interns for politicians — for the exact same reason. These jobs lead somewhere. The people you get to work with are the type of people you want to be one day when your career is further along.

Is an employer that has this prestige at their disposal being a jerk by paying less? Perhaps. But my experience is that the organizations with jobs like this don’t have as much money to spend. If you’re looking for a high paying, soulless job, go to Wall Street instead. Oh wait. Too late.
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http://www.TheSimpleJobSearch.com/ Kevin Donlin

Even better is to not need a resume at all.

Joe Girard, formerly the world’s #1 care salesman, used to say that everyone knows about 250 people on average. He sold more cars than many entire dealerships simply by mailing a card once a month to everyone who ever bought from him.

If most people made a plan to contact 10 people each day, they could cycle through 250 names a month, with weekends off.

Factor in the 250 people those 250 people know, and you could be 2 phone calls away from 62,500 people — if you were as systematic about this as Joe Girard. There ought to be a job lead in there somewhere.

Here’s a link to a video of a guy who did a short version of this and got a job lead in 5 minutes – http://tinyurl.com/4dzzw4

… no resume needed
http://www.TheSimpleJobSearch.com Kevin Donlin

Even better is to not need a resume at all.

Joe Girard, formerly the world’s #1 care salesman, used to say that everyone knows about 250 people on average. He sold more cars than many entire dealerships simply by mailing a card once a month to everyone who ever bought from him.

If most people made a plan to contact 10 people each day, they could cycle through 250 names a month, with weekends off.

Factor in the 250 people those 250 people know, and you could be 2 phone calls away from 62,500 people — if you were as systematic about this as Joe Girard. There ought to be a job lead in there somewhere.

Here’s a link to a video of a guy who did a short version of this and got a job lead in 5 minutes – http://tinyurl.com/4dzzw4

… no resume needed
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http://www.lloydengland.com/ Lloyd England

I fully agree with what you said there, a few months back I was looking at a whole pile of CV’s (around 50 or so), for a job tailored for a university student to take a 1 year internship – and pretty much all of them got thrown out for one reason or another – we ended up interviewing 3 people out of that 50.
http://www.lloydengland.com Lloyd England

I fully agree with what you said there, a few months back I was looking at a whole pile of CV’s (around 50 or so), for a job tailored for a university student to take a 1 year internship – and pretty much all of them got thrown out for one reason or another – we ended up interviewing 3 people out of that 50.
Mr_Spammer

Yeah thats it – use a high quality email address instead of a throwaway so you last surviving inbox can get blasted with incest porno when they give away your email address.

No thanks. I’ll be sending throwaway emails..
Mr_Spammer

Yeah thats it – use a high quality email address instead of a throwaway so you last surviving inbox can get blasted with incest porno when they give away your email address.

No thanks. I’ll be sending throwaway emails..
Eric Lamb

I was happy to see I made your twenty percent, thanks for the tips.
Eric Lamb

I was happy to see I made your twenty percent, thanks for the tips.
Greg Paskill

The real problem is employers don’t do anything that encourages the person who is really motivated and qualified to apply. Instead, hiring and dealing with applicants is seen as a burden.

If employers really wanted to find the right people, they’d publish the name and phone number of the hiring manager. Professional people would know how to handle and present themselves. Wannabees would hang themselves in the process.

You are right, resumes are completely inadequate to demonstrate competence today. That’s especially true when an economy decimates your industry or field and employers insist you must present yourself in terms of what you’ve done before. That’s not a winning formula in an environment of change, especially for applicants who are ready, willing and able to change. Question is, are employers?
Greg Paskill

The real problem is employers don’t do anything that encourages the person who is really motivated and qualified to apply. Instead, hiring and dealing with applicants is seen as a burden.

If employers really wanted to find the right people, they’d publish the name and phone number of the hiring manager. Professional people would know how to handle and present themselves. Wannabees would hang themselves in the process.

You are right, resumes are completely inadequate to demonstrate competence today. That’s especially true when an economy decimates your industry or field and employers insist you must present yourself in terms of what you’ve done before. That’s not a winning formula in an environment of change, especially for applicants who are ready, willing and able to change. Question is, are employers?
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Andrea C

I think that the general consensus of all here is that Administrative Assistants are lower on the job chain. I can assure you that if you feel this way that you haven’t had a real administrative assistant and maybe the reason you are getting the bottom of the barrel is becuase you pay as such. The admins within ur company make upwards of $75 gran a year and well worth every penny. They are an essential part of our organization and their loyalty is unmatched.
Andrea C

I think that the general consensus of all here is that Administrative Assistants are lower on the job chain. I can assure you that if you feel this way that you haven’t had a real administrative assistant and maybe the reason you are getting the bottom of the barrel is becuase you pay as such. The admins within ur company make upwards of $75 gran a year and well worth every penny. They are an essential part of our organization and their loyalty is unmatched.

So, you need a job? Man, do resumes suck

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