The Steve Ballmer conversation

So, in this dream, er, nightmare I have, I walk into Steve Ballmer’s Microsoft office back in 2006 and say:

“Hi Steve, I gotta talk to you about our tablet strategy.”

“Sure, Scoble, what you thinking about?”

“Well, it sucks. It just isn’t working. Customers aren’t delighted. The market isn’t afire. Our employees are even bored with it.”

“So, what should we do?” he asks.

“We should ship a device that doesn’t run Office. Indeed, doesn’t run any Microsoft application. Doesn’t do multitasking. Doesn’t run Flash. Doesn’t have a camera. Can’t print. Can’t use a Microsoft Mouse or Keyboard, either. Oh, and just to be really revolutionary, we can’t put any of our normal packaging or stickers on the device or around it. Finally, we can’t sell it at Best Buy, but we have to build a new series of stores to distribute it in.”

“What the f*** are you smoking, Scoble? Get the f*** out of here before I call security. That’s the stupidest idea I’ve heard. Ever.”

Then I wake up and realize, no, I’m not Steve Jobs.

Author: Robert Scoble

Scoble gives you a front-row seat on the future. Especially on platforms that use the fourth user interface, spatial computing, like virtual reality or mixed reality that will come soon thanks to his own front-row seat as entrepreneur in residence at and his past experience as futurist at Rackspace. Best place to find Scoble? On his Facebook page at


  1. ha! ha! ha! he might give you the time of day… you are both becoming about as irrelevant as the other… 😉

  2. Verra funnay!

    scoble-channelling the dream…on the way out the door, rattling off more usp’s in a desperate attempt to get Ballmer to reconsider…”but the thing can’t save files, it’ll have piss-poor wifi, a phased roll-out with a loathed cellular carrier, maybe like about a dozen or native apps out the gate, and a pricepoint that’ll stun some, but if successful, will cannibalize, if not gut the laptop market…c’mon SB, work with me here!”

  3. Ha ha ha! Dream on dreamer… Sometimes I have the same dream that I’ve composed one of MJ’s track and I wake up with millions of copyright money 🙂